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Confused about my relationship

Community Member

Don’t know if this is right but here goes. I’m 44 and have been in the same relationship for 28 Years.

I don’t know if I love my husband anymore. I know he is not nice to anyone and I hate it. He can be very judgemental. I feel like I have to tread around on egg shells just to keep the peace at home. My children are 21 and 18. They hate the way they are spoken to and how I am treated. I don’t know what is normal any longer I feel like going away and never being found. It’s too hard

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Bagsi~
Welcome to the Forum. I think it is a pretty sensible move for you to come here and talk with others. Getting into a relationship when you were around 16 and saying in it until now will make it very hard to know what is normal - or even acceptable.

You seem to be at about that stage most parents have when their kids are adults, or close to it, and you look at your partner with fresh eyes. Up till then it has been a scramble to raise the kids and that has had priority.
Now the pressure may be a little less and you have time to take stock - and don't like what you see.

While it's true some people are more judgmental than others it should never get to the stage where you always feel you have to walk on eggshells so there are no arguments and anger. If your children feel the same way, that their father treats you badly or speaks to them in a way they can't take then it is a pretty good indication his behavior is unacceptable.

What do do about it largely depends upon what you want. If you want your husband to change then I guess trying couples counseling might be an option. Otherwise you might feel you want time out away from the family home to see how you feel.

Is is possible to stay with someone else for a while? This whole thing is new ground and having someone, even just to talk with, makes a whole load of difference. Do you have anyone like that?

I guess the other thing that occurs to me is have you been able to talk to your children about this and see what they want or think should happen?