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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Sunflower60 Betrayal from mum, confused and upset
  • replies: 3

Hello, Just wanting some advice and wondering if anyone else has a situation like this. I am really upset my mum has given my abusive ex her number and told him to call her whenever she wants. I was trying to get away from him for so long and he woul... View more

Hello, Just wanting some advice and wondering if anyone else has a situation like this. I am really upset my mum has given my abusive ex her number and told him to call her whenever she wants. I was trying to get away from him for so long and he would stalk me. I was getting harrasing text messeges from him so I blocked his number and he then set his number to private and continued calling constantly all day and all through out the night. I then changed my number and soon after he must of realised what I had done, was waiting for me in a dark car park at night, where I had parked my car when I was working, asking me if he could just have a hug, blocking me from my car, so I had to hug him to get in my car, it was so scary. My mum knew all of this and knew how much he hurt me yet she gave him her number after I finally got away from the guy. I want to have a relationship with my mum but this it alway in the back of my mind. I feel like it is so hurtful and really weird. I'm having trouble not letting it effect me. She was saying today how if he calls she would ask him how he is, how is his family and how is his health. What the !! I have told her how I feel about it and how I don't want him to have her number. I was very scared and hurt by him.

Natasha01 My boyfriend suffers with depression/alcoholism, we’re here in Oz together from the Uk and have nobody to talk to and desperately seek help&advice
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We’re extremely close yet when it comes to his feelings ect he is a closed book, getting anything out of him is like getting blood out of a stone. I’m very open, probably too open so I’ve always noticed th... View more

Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We’re extremely close yet when it comes to his feelings ect he is a closed book, getting anything out of him is like getting blood out of a stone. I’m very open, probably too open so I’ve always noticed this about him but always made sure never to press him about anything. over a year into the relationship I found tabs open on his laptop where he had been googling ‘how to cope with depression’ ect - i has been thinking for some time that he maybe suffered with depression as he would have bouts of being extremely down, very obvious low self esteem, heavy drinking ect. So now we’ve been together 3 years and NEVER openly spoken about his depression and alcoholism. His alcoholism is really bad. He’s openly spoken once about the fact he acknowledges he has problems with alcohol and he revealed his mum made him go to therapy as a teenager - but this was revealed when both of us were drunk and never mentioned again. I was shocked by the therapy comment because we’ve been together so long and he’d never told me - but again he doesn’t like to talk about ‘things’. Anyway he has been ok for a while now whilst we are in oz for a year but the past month it is clear with the heavy drinking and mood he is depressed again and he left tabs open again about dealing with alcoholism and depression but had also been googling ‘childhood trauma and how it causes alcoholism’ and lot seem more childhood trauma and how it causes links to problems in adulthood. Now I don’t know what to think or what to do?! Has he suffered a horrible trauma and not told me after all this time? I want to talk to him but I don’t know how... it’s easier said than done sorry for the essay but I’m alone in Australia and don’t have anyone to talk to

KuriousJ Losing my soul mate
  • replies: 11

Hi everyone. I had been with my partner for 1& half years and in February we had an argument and split up overnight. I am the one that suggested the break up but really didn't mean it. I showered her with gifts for valentines day and also on her birt... View more

Hi everyone. I had been with my partner for 1& half years and in February we had an argument and split up overnight. I am the one that suggested the break up but really didn't mean it. I showered her with gifts for valentines day and also on her birthday which was the 20th. I work away in the mines and stayed at her house during my RnR.. I thought everything was ok. She took a 2 week holiday in the USA with her sister and on her return I picked her up from the airport but it was like her feelings for me had changed. We did everything together and now I'm lucky if I get to see her now. I spent the day with her for my birthday which was in march. We were having lunch when she received 3 text messages from a guy called David. She said he was just a friend and she had gone out for drinks with him the week before. That ruined my day so I went home and got drunk. I flew in for RnR this Thursday night and stayed at her house over night. Slept in her bed and kissed and cuddled but nothing else. I'm feeling happy then I drove her to work. She told me she was going camping with some new friends she had made and I asked if I had an invite. She told me to bear with her and let her do her thing. I keep thinking she is with this David character. On Saturday she was sending me kisses and cuddles over text message. I don't know what to do. I have been drinking every day for the last 13 days and this morning I have had 4 beers. I know I need to stop but I'm lost. i am 34 years old and financially secure.

NiqBel03 Partner With Depression/Anxiety Won’t Commit
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, I have been with my partner for about 2 years now. I lived in the US for the first year of our relationship finishing up Uni. When we first started dating, and when I first got to AU, he was really keen on getting married and taking our rela... View more

Hi guys, I have been with my partner for about 2 years now. I lived in the US for the first year of our relationship finishing up Uni. When we first started dating, and when I first got to AU, he was really keen on getting married and taking our relationship to the next step. I wasn’t ready to get married, as I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to stay or go back to the US. Plus I only knew him over webchats and a couple of month long holidays. I have now decided to permanently stay and am going for a partner visa. I have grown to love him very much, the good and the bad. When I first got out to AU, he was hospitalized for undiagnosed depression/anxiety. We have been through so much together since then with his healing process and such. I thought I proved my love and commitment to him over this past year, but it seems like things have changed after all of this happened. Recently, I have been bringing up the idea of marriage again. He has completely shut down and just keeps saying there is so much that isn’t working between us and is alluding to wanting to break up. I am understanding if he isn’t ready for marriage but he won’t even say that he wants to wait or is scared. He just isn’t giving me a reason why he won’t take the next step. I have anxiety and a bit of depression and the shift in energy in the house has definitely caused me to have episodes and a spike in anxiety. I am really struggling on how to cope with this as every time I bring up what’s wrong it ends in a huge fight. I am to the point of wanting to go back to the US. I don’t want to feel like I am wasting my time, but I don’t want to make a mistake in the end. I really do love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I am so lost with what to do. Has anyone been through anything similar or can offer any advice on how to approach this situation? Thank you for taking the time to help!

Cabbage_Patch_Kid Anyone else get overly attached to someone they haven’t known for long when depressed
  • replies: 14

I’ve been suffering depression pretty badly for the last 8 months but I’ve notices another side effect is that I get irrationally attachéd to guys I’ve only met or been with a few times. It doesn’t seem to matter whether I think I have a future or wh... View more

I’ve been suffering depression pretty badly for the last 8 months but I’ve notices another side effect is that I get irrationally attachéd to guys I’ve only met or been with a few times. It doesn’t seem to matter whether I think I have a future or whether he’s a decent guy. I recently called time on one such casual relationship as I was getting hurt as he was with others and had no feelings for me. I knew it would not have a future and it was sex based. However I feel devastated and I can’t explain it. My friends and family don’t understand. It’s like we were together for years. This is not the first time this has happened either. I end up scaring guys away. Has anyone experienced this or have any advice. I’ve tried to explain my headspace but he’s not interested. He’s blocked me. In the past it’s taken so much time to get over guys.

Anne74 Feeling rejected
  • replies: 5

I have been in a relationship with an man who is an addict for 4 and a half years, and its been like a crazy rollercoaster ride. I have major depressive disorder and generalised anxiety disorder which is challenging for me to live with on a daily bas... View more

I have been in a relationship with an man who is an addict for 4 and a half years, and its been like a crazy rollercoaster ride. I have major depressive disorder and generalised anxiety disorder which is challenging for me to live with on a daily basis and then add my boyfriends moods to the mix and its crazy making. things go along great for a while and then suddenly he gets angry about the smallest of things and wont talk to me for days. Im left wondering what the hell happend with no communication until he is ready to talk. this does my head in with my anxiety going through the roof and i feel totally rejected and like he doesnt give a dam. I dont know what to do or how to detach with love as the experts say we should with addicts, can someone help me??

Sam145 Unsure on whether it will get better
  • replies: 9

My boyfriend has severe depression and has being struggling heaps over the past 2 weeks. We have been together on and off for about 3 years. It stopped being smooth sailing after the first year. I moved to Melbourne and we did long distance; 4 hours ... View more

My boyfriend has severe depression and has being struggling heaps over the past 2 weeks. We have been together on and off for about 3 years. It stopped being smooth sailing after the first year. I moved to Melbourne and we did long distance; 4 hours away. He never made the effort to come and see me I was always the one going to him. It has been a rocky relationship ever since. The longest we have spent apart, broken up has been a month. He has hurt me so much, he has lied, been unloyal although he hasn’t cheated (that I know of) he has done some similar stuff. We recently broke up and I didn’t talk to him for a month, he wrote me a letter and asked for a second chance I accepted. It has been 6 months and he had been lying from the start. I found out 5 months in that he still had tinder people on Snapchat and was talking to girls he was saying he wasn’t. I have been on edge ever since I found that out. He said he was talking to other girls for support because I wasn’t listening to how he was feeling. I have always tried my best to support him through his tough times. It takes a huge toll on me and I don’t think I can handle it anymore, I’m a happy person and like to have fun. We are very different people. I love him to bits and I’m scared to leave. I don’t like being alone. Recently he has been getting bad. He says he can’t talk to anyone about his problems. He is keeping someone else’s secret and has sworn to secrecy and won’t tell me and he said it is affecting him greatly. He isn’t coping and idk what to do. He isn’t sure if it will get better and I’m not sure how much more I can take and if it is worth it. Idk if it will be the same. Part of me really wants to support him through it and then work us out later but the other part wants to focus solely on me. I’m not happy but I don’t want to be without him. I really want us to work out but I’m not getting my needs satisfied. Do I help him through his problems, put my needs aside help him get better then try work us out or do I just focus on myself and my own happiness? All I really want from him is to be able to spend regular time with him, we both work full time at the same workplace in fast food so we work different shifts. We live in the same town now. I just want to get back to us. He wants me to be happy and to focus on myself and said if that means moving on from him so be it. He doesn’t know if it will get better. I just want to be happy but I don’t want to break up with him. He wants to get better

Lookingforhelp22 Feeling lost/husbands anger issues
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I ve just had an MRI as have been experiencing headaches and vertigo - dr thinks I have an intercranial lesion. I also had some blood test results and need an ultrasound as my liver is not great. I m 28 years old and have been really wor... View more

Hi everyone, I ve just had an MRI as have been experiencing headaches and vertigo - dr thinks I have an intercranial lesion. I also had some blood test results and need an ultrasound as my liver is not great. I m 28 years old and have been really worried & havent spoken to my husband much, when I have anxiety I shut down. My husband has been abusive eg. calling me names for ignoring him but I m just so stressed about this & trying to process it all. its only been 2 days & he has anger issues so didnt want to be more stressed by what he might say. should i speak to him more? Any advice would be appreciated x

Juliet_84 Despair over possible MS diagnosis
  • replies: 9

Hi guys, I have been having a tough time recently and was hoping for some words of comfort. Some of you may already know, but a few years ago I suffered a major stroke that almost killed me. My entire right side was paralyzed and I was in hospital fo... View more

Hi guys, I have been having a tough time recently and was hoping for some words of comfort. Some of you may already know, but a few years ago I suffered a major stroke that almost killed me. My entire right side was paralyzed and I was in hospital for a week and had to learn to walk again, my balance was affected, to simple dexterity things like use cutlery etc. Before the stroke, I had been suffering dizziness for months and told my doctor but they dismissed it. At the time I was concerned that I may have the early stages of multiple sclerosis, it was just a gut feeling that I couldn’t shake, but after the stroke they told me I had a blood disorder instead. I honestly felt so relieved at the thought of not having MS and my future suddenly felt brighter and I dared to hope. I started exercising again, looking after myself, and felt generally happy to be alive. Anyway, fast forward 4 years and it seems as though the doctors may have misdiagnosed me and I may be staring down the barrel of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis again. This feels like absolute torture, I feel as though I’ve had the rug completely pulled out from under me, I just break down in tears from absolute despair when I think about it. I’ve gone back to hating to think about what the future may hold for me. I just wonder how much one person is supposed to be able to take? Juliet

MiVitaLuna Not Sure Where To Put This, Just Want To Run Away
  • replies: 5

I have 4 children and my eldest son is married with 2 children. We have always been a very close family but since he married this girl we have had many family fights and she has tried to pull our family apart several times. She has no contact with he... View more

I have 4 children and my eldest son is married with 2 children. We have always been a very close family but since he married this girl we have had many family fights and she has tried to pull our family apart several times. She has no contact with her own family and has called the police on her own mother and refuses to let her family see the grandkids. So we have had a lot of conflict with this girl. So much so it has caused me so much stress, anxiety and depression. There has been a couple of times where I have refused to talk to her due to her treatment towards me (throwing food across the room at me when called her out on a lie, and having a go at me for not taking time off work to look after the kids so she could go and do her studies. We were trying to save up for their wedding and I could not afford the time off). She also kicked my other son out of their home and called the police on him when he refused to leave until his brother got home to confirm that he could not longer stay there. We later found out she told the police that she feared for her life with him in the house. He lived with them at the time and I can assure you she was in no danger. So despite all the other things she has done that I have not mentioned. They all came to see us for my birthday and she began a fight with the son that she kicked out (he moved back with us). My dad was here and so was my daughter and grandkids. She yelled, screamed and argued that we were not supporting her and that she has every right to kick people and refuse people to see her children. My son retaliated and called her out on her lies and my son who is married to her, began to throw punches at my other son. She has deleted us from facebook, blocked us from seeing the grandkids and I know that she will do all she can to not allow us to see the grandkids. To top this off I currently have health anxiety which has increased since I have found out through several tests that there may be something concerning after my last ultrasounds. I am so scared of anesthetics that I am trying to convince myself to go and have the surgery to get the biopsies but I am so scare of dying that I am too scared to go and get the procedure done. My greatest fear is dying of cancer like my grandmother, yet I need this procedure. This has caused me a lot of stress, lack of sleep and constant anxiety! I feel like I am ready to run. Please help. I am trying to see a psychologist but I have a long wait to get in.