Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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FrankieRose Feeling lost 😔😔😔Is AA the answer
  • replies: 2

I met my x at a pub we had great chemistry took as awhile to get together him being a alcoholic player that he was..We tried to be together for three months but he wouldn't quit the piss! I left him -6 months later he quit for me we tried again-Three... View more

I met my x at a pub we had great chemistry took as awhile to get together him being a alcoholic player that he was..We tried to be together for three months but he wouldn't quit the piss! I left him -6 months later he quit for me we tried again-Three years on wards we've lived together for a year, but we fight a lot over nothing somedays- I feel he antagonises me and I'm always in trouble. He started this thing of spying on my phone- then drugs got involved more fight more drama- then he would go out on pingers or ice- while I was home alone drinking. He started lying So much over last 4 months a lot mostly about not doing drugs-or being on them - We both tried stopping together but a fight would have him at the door on drugs Tried again-I slipped first couple months. Then I went to AA 4 us 2 get clean & he kept going back to dugs. AA lasted a month for me.!He said if we have a fight he would com home by 12 he didn't stick 2that promise. Infact every promise he made he broke.!Over a period of 3-4months I got lies all the time.! In the end I woke up with him sat on top of me with a knife holding phone in my face saying'who is this guy did u sleep with him-!! I certainly had not..The guy online had him thinking we had another crack head!I kicked him out after that my x from that night well he then inturn went on a two week bender. Came to our unit broke down at our unit crying two weeks later admitting to his mum on the phone he needs help.. And now for the last 3 wks his been staying with his mum and dad in Tassie. Doing a rehab program and AA---!! Doin well fishing eating well- he has a good heart and does love me and I also need to be doing AA as well as I need help I'm lost right now and drinking- smoking the pipe- lied couple time to him about it. He wants me to stay down in Tassie and start fresh -!We shared such a beautiful love connection when it's ON--!*But When we are fighting thou we can be both mean ..! Name call threats - takes me of FB, every couple wks-I still love him and he wants us to both try again do AA and be together, but I feel we both lack real maturity the drugs didn't help our relationship-YES- but are we just hopeless tit for tat ppl.! We both do it-! Does AA help the person to mature ?I still need to find it in my heart to forgive him for the shitty things his done.~TO add to itThe lying - going out at 3AM in the morning being on drugs. Inviting ppl to my home to hang while I'm sleeping. His trying now but is it to late ?

Beckyo Lost and hurt
  • replies: 4

Hay everyone Writing on here is hard it means I really have to start dealing with my problems I've been with my partner now for over 17 years we have 3 children together and have work through many ups and downs and always managed to stick things out ... View more

Hay everyone Writing on here is hard it means I really have to start dealing with my problems I've been with my partner now for over 17 years we have 3 children together and have work through many ups and downs and always managed to stick things out But things are getting harder to deal with and I'm finding it harder to hold myself together I'm getting agitated at my children,and upset at anything that gets thrown at me My partner threw a lot at me last year from drug abuse to chatting with other women with the intent of scoring to lying about everything it would seam we would work through one battle only to have another days latter I feel like I can't do the right or evan say the right thing to make any of this just go away 2 years ago we uprooted our family and moved and its been hard on everyone I have to leave my children now 9,10,14 to get them selfs to school and I am so proud of the job they do but on days when its pissing with rain and they have to walk in it to school or they just don't feel well and I'm not there I beat myself up over it becouse I can't afford not to work and I'm not there to help,to support them My partner also works and he does work very hard for his family but he's never happy and always comes home to winge and wine over his day I find it hard to listen to when there is never anything positive and the wholehouse gets in a tiss But the thing that really keeps getting me is trust I can't trust my partner I'm always waiting for the next lot of lies wondering what crap they will be over now itbugs me so much I can't stop going over it in my mind I lie there unable to sleep and spend my time at work mulling over everything and when he does lie evan over the little things its like dealing with every little issue over again Today was much the same court in another lie unable to trust the one I love feeling like I'm not good enough for him to trust me so tired so sick of being hurt Today I'm sitting on my own in a motel room with no where to go no one to talk to because once again I could not take the lie and the hurt that comes with it Please o please am I over reacting or is this how my life is gonna be

Trusky One sided marriage
  • replies: 1

Long story short I love my wife and want to be with her however I am trying to find out a way to communicate with her with her blowing up and she turn all "right-fighter" and it ends up all being about her feelings and I get very little chance to exp... View more

Long story short I love my wife and want to be with her however I am trying to find out a way to communicate with her with her blowing up and she turn all "right-fighter" and it ends up all being about her feelings and I get very little chance to express my feelings and then I feel like a fool as I end up feeling as though I have done something wrong. She is a fantastic woman but sometime I feel she is more concerned with pleasing others and putting on the mask and dishing out valid advice than stopping and listening to my feelings. There is alot more but I am sure that will come, this isn't completely one sided and many things aren't and I do own some of the issues in our marriage. I think communication is a starting point. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Its_Just_me How do cope with a sexless marriage
  • replies: 7

I've been married for 10 years, we haven't had sex for 6 years, sometimes i cope ok, other times not at all, in defense of my husband he has had spinal fusions done, he is otherwise very loving, sweet,and helpful, and im really in love with him, he s... View more

I've been married for 10 years, we haven't had sex for 6 years, sometimes i cope ok, other times not at all, in defense of my husband he has had spinal fusions done, he is otherwise very loving, sweet,and helpful, and im really in love with him, he says he knows he cant perform properly so he doesnt try. now he doesn't even feel like sex, but the problem is, i do, and all the time, im very attracted to him which makes it worse. i feel so starved of affection, you know the playful kind that makes you feel special and comforted .. I never get that, i feel so lonely inside and im going into a depression because of it. I feel so rejected and its affected my self esteme terribly. I dont know how to get past this...

secondwife Child Support - a major reason for depression and anxiety
  • replies: 3

I'm in the second wive's club, have been married for 8 years now, to a wonderful man who I have known for over 30 year (since before I left school). I have recently taken over management of my husbands child support arrangements because it they just ... View more

I'm in the second wive's club, have been married for 8 years now, to a wonderful man who I have known for over 30 year (since before I left school). I have recently taken over management of my husbands child support arrangements because it they just destroy him and make him so depressed and since I did this I can see why! How is it possible a Government run agency is given such power to make people's lives so miserable? He has 3 kids to his first wife (nut job), all teenagers now and we have always had issues with her causing trouble, not following the parenting plan, not communicating, occillating wildly between dumping the kids on us, to withholding access. Now we have a situation where she has told the CSA that she has 100% care and our child support payments have gone beyond 30% of my husbands income and of course it is me that has to now prop up our mortgage and expenses from my income. We have them less, because they now have weekend jobs and spend time at friends places, so she doesn't actually have them more either but CSA refuses to change the assessment as we have to "provide evidence" that we have shared care. She actually owes us money that she flatly refuses to pay back after agreeing to pay 50% of costs for school laptops and won't agree to have this money owed recognised as child support contribution either. Why is CSA allowed to be so disproportionately biased against the non custodial parent? Why are step parents contributions not recognised or considered? My husband has major depression over his kids and the child support arrangements. It causes me great anxiety as well as i carry the financial burden. How have others dealt with this issue.

Zoe_L Feeling misunderstood
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone my name is Zoe and I feel a bit misunderstood by my family like whenever I have difficult things going on in my life I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my family about it as they usually just try and tell me that they get what I'm feel... View more

Hi everyone my name is Zoe and I feel a bit misunderstood by my family like whenever I have difficult things going on in my life I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my family about it as they usually just try and tell me that they get what I'm feeling and we sometimes have arguments that make me feel quite sad and alone at times. Has anyone else had the same feeling and am I crazy for having these emotions. Btw I am new.

Discobox Stuck in limbo
  • replies: 9

My husband and I have decided to seperate after 7 years. I can't say he is a bad person but over the years we have had our problems with him watching porn instead of being intimate with me, going home with two women (drunk) after his 30th birthday (h... View more

My husband and I have decided to seperate after 7 years. I can't say he is a bad person but over the years we have had our problems with him watching porn instead of being intimate with me, going home with two women (drunk) after his 30th birthday (he claims nothing happened) and just generally being a sour, negative person. He has sought counselling, but goes to one session andtakes medication for a month then stops. His drinking became an issue recently and we got into a heated arguement (while both drunk. It was the first time I had drank like that in a very long time and everything I had been annoyed about came up. He is introverted and quiet and I am the opposite, it feels like I have a son rather than a husband and partner. We are now living in the same house in seperate rooms and giving each other space to sort things out. He is going back to his GP and reorganising counselling. I just dont know if I should sit around and wait, or start moving on. Ihaven't given up on us yet, I feel like I should though. Any advice is appreciated ✌

lola_adams i’m alone
  • replies: 1

i’ve always felt alone and distant from all my friends, but recently i’ve realised i really do have no body and no true friends. people don’t actually care about me and i’m feeling so hopeless. nothing is going to change

i’ve always felt alone and distant from all my friends, but recently i’ve realised i really do have no body and no true friends. people don’t actually care about me and i’m feeling so hopeless. nothing is going to change

Frankl15 Constant Rejection
  • replies: 2

I’ve recently connected with my brother from my dads side, this was the first sort of contact with my dad and my dads family so I was excited to meet him. Over the week he hasn’t made the effort to come see me, I told him to let me know when and what... View more

I’ve recently connected with my brother from my dads side, this was the first sort of contact with my dad and my dads family so I was excited to meet him. Over the week he hasn’t made the effort to come see me, I told him to let me know when and what time they could visit as I’m studying and will be busy. I’m still trying to cope with my anxiety and depression at college but handeling it well , anyways I was looking forward the next day to see when he could come visit, no reply’s or messages. The next day there posts of him leaving town, without even the courtesy to let me know. I’ve now jumped back into my depressive state where my fathers rejected me, guys who I’ve liked and been honest with had given me broken promises and now my brother who I’ve spoken on the phone to and was finally happy that I could fix that part of my life is now abandoning me, all I keep thinking is what’s my purpose in life , I was rejected from the start so what form of happiness is left for me ? I literally feel worthless

Jas79 Help me heart broken
  • replies: 3

Hi I meet a girl back in November and she was hanging out with me and then told me she not interested but happy to still be friends, she has depression and anxiety so think she has PTSD and bipolar. we texted ever day for the last few months and hang... View more

Hi I meet a girl back in November and she was hanging out with me and then told me she not interested but happy to still be friends, she has depression and anxiety so think she has PTSD and bipolar. we texted ever day for the last few months and hangout once a week, we had planned a overseas trip together and then the other day she said she wanted to commit to me as she had been praying about it and thinks it’s right. Send me messages that she knows it right and feels loved in my arms. Came to see me yesterday to look at areas to move to a new house so she could be closer to me. She left my place and send me a message saying a hour later saying it’s not right with her and she knows because God’s put in her heart that it’s not right. We where dating for three days I’ve told my family and friends just feel gutted. She say she doesn’t want hear from me anymore or see and not contact her as it will be harrssment. I feel gutted