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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Leigh_17 I feel like my life is a house of cards and it’s falki apart
  • replies: 4

I’m a fake, I always do and say the right things to everyone, at work, at home, while my brain is screaming out things I really want to say but I don’t because I’m the good one. But I’m not. I’m getting really sick of listening to my family’s constan... View more

I’m a fake, I always do and say the right things to everyone, at work, at home, while my brain is screaming out things I really want to say but I don’t because I’m the good one. But I’m not. I’m getting really sick of listening to my family’s constant problems, I feel like I’m going to snap and destroy this fake person I am. And my husband, we have been together since I was 15, I love him but have so much anger and hatred for over the years he has broken my trust so many times, he is a control freak and everybody loves him and thinks I’m the crazy wife. Atm he spends nearly every night outside working on his car or drinking beer in front of a fire, once I would of cared but now I’m glad he isn’t spending time with me. This is not what marriage is supposed to be, I feel like we want different things out of life , I love him but how can this be love? I feel like it’s easier to die than having to deal with my families problems and my own problems are just to much.

Kourtneyb Trying to cope after being bullied and harassed.
  • replies: 2

Hello. I was sexually harassed and bullied by my employer/ former doctor. Since my experience I've left my career, my self-esteem is low. I can't look at myself in the mirror, I feel worthless and I experience frustration, anger bursts, severe depres... View more

Hello. I was sexually harassed and bullied by my employer/ former doctor. Since my experience I've left my career, my self-esteem is low. I can't look at myself in the mirror, I feel worthless and I experience frustration, anger bursts, severe depressive episodes. I get really upset at times that I've been taken advantage of and everyone's lives are moving on and I just spend every day just trying to exist. I've tried speaking to psychologists, psychiatrists - I've tried medication, CBT, mindfulness but I'm having some trust problems with seeing healthcare providers or trusting anyone so it makes it very hard to open up. At the moment on a personal front, My relationships have suffered, I can't take care of my family, thinking of looking after my kids seems really overwhelming, I feel so lost.

indiana678 Toxic relationship I can’t seem to leave..
  • replies: 2

Hi guys, so basically this is my first post but I have reached a breaking point in my life where I have no idea what I’m doing in my relationship, so my partner and I were together for 2 years and then things started to go downhill.. we started fight... View more

Hi guys, so basically this is my first post but I have reached a breaking point in my life where I have no idea what I’m doing in my relationship, so my partner and I were together for 2 years and then things started to go downhill.. we started fighting and arguing although always drawn back to each other and then we broke up and he got back with his ex for a few weeks until he broke that off and asked me to hang out with him, so we started seeing each other and it’s nearly been a year now, I am living at his house although we are not in a relationship and he says we are just friends even though we don’t act like it. I’m really confused by the whole situation and am just not sure whether to try harder or give up and walk away... thank you so much for taking the time to read this!!

Kittyyy00 Reaching out for help/support
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm not quite sure how to talk about the problems I am facing in my life, but it feels like it's demanding so much of me and I feel I don't have much more to give. I'm 29 and have a 10 year old son. I have been diagnosed with depression as a teen... View more

Hi, I'm not quite sure how to talk about the problems I am facing in my life, but it feels like it's demanding so much of me and I feel I don't have much more to give. I'm 29 and have a 10 year old son. I have been diagnosed with depression as a teen and put on medication, which I left behind a long time ago. I have struggled with drugs and alcohol for most of my life. I currently only drink, but not excessively anymore. I don't take drugs at all anymore. I spent 12 long years of my life with my son's father who is a controlling, manipulative and abusive person. The time I spent in this relationship cost me so much of myself. I have no friends anymore, I barely talk to my family, just reconnected with my mother and stepfather, I lost my self esteem a long time ago and I feel like I'll never be the same person I once was. Currently we are going through family court to compromise and agree on a parenting plan. He has brought my family and my new partner into the case by throwing extreme accusations around. Final court date is in a few weeks and I can't bare to agree to shared parental responsibility with this man. It's really stressing me. My new partner and I are on a rocky road at the moment. Things were great in the beginning but I broke his trust about 7 months ago. He says he wants to be with me and he's in love with me but still stresses out. We have been dating 1 yr 5 months. Still early in our relationship but we are both mature individuals ready to settle down in our lives. My previous experiences (and possible mental health issues) can make me react in crazy ways and go completely overboard. I feel as though I am chasing someone who is getting further away from me. I don't know what to do. I do love this man and he makes me incredibly happy but he breaks my heart sometimes. What do I do to help? I've tried expressing my feelings through words and gifts and gestures and in everything I do. I'm not coping well with anything at the moment. I smashed my car, it was a write off. I can't make my parents happy. I've called in sick 2 days in a row this week because I can barely get up to get my son ready for school let alone go to work. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way but I do.

brokenbluecat How do you explain this to teenagers?
  • replies: 3

I have been battling for over 20 years. Recently I have had a number of triggers that have lead to me going through the worst episode of my life. I have no motivation, no enjoyment and I am struggling to explain to my teenage boys why I feel "sick". ... View more

I have been battling for over 20 years. Recently I have had a number of triggers that have lead to me going through the worst episode of my life. I have no motivation, no enjoyment and I am struggling to explain to my teenage boys why I feel "sick". There is nothing physically wrong with me, my mental health is really bad. How do I explain this to them without them worrying about me? My husband has also said this weekend he doesn't get it. How do I make him understand? These are supposed to be my biggest supporters but I can't even talk to them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ayu Lonely and lost
  • replies: 1

Hello (it’s my first time posting!) I’ve been struggling with my family life + friend life these past 6months. Recently, my grandfather suddenly passed away and I’ve been focused on grandmother to give them support. I was very close to my grandparent... View more

Hello (it’s my first time posting!) I’ve been struggling with my family life + friend life these past 6months. Recently, my grandfather suddenly passed away and I’ve been focused on grandmother to give them support. I was very close to my grandparents more than my parents growing up. I had never experienced a close family member passing away before this, and decided to distance myself from engaging in friends as I didn’t feel like myself + didn’t want to express my negative thoughts + started brooding over whether my friends could even tell if I was upset at all. I haven’t talked to any of my “best” friends about this and instead sought comfort in friends I’ve only met a few times. Just being around people I knew made me uncomfortable. I used to enjoy going out, doing art... But it’s no longer enjoyable. I’m lost because I want to talk to my “best” friends. But upon getting into miscommunication problems with them earlier on, I told them that “I wanted to take a step back from friendships and hope they could take the extra step forward”... But as a result, they haven’t talked to me in over a month. (We used to talk every day) I would appreciate any advice on what direction I should go towards. I’m honestly lost. Thank you for your time.

Makers_Marker Awkwardness and suffering
  • replies: 1

This post may not sound directly related to anxiety or depression but the reason I am writing it on Beyond Blue and not a Facebook singles group is there's always a chance that my anxiety is playing a significant role. Basically I am a fairly unattra... View more

This post may not sound directly related to anxiety or depression but the reason I am writing it on Beyond Blue and not a Facebook singles group is there's always a chance that my anxiety is playing a significant role. Basically I am a fairly unattractive twenty year old whose never had a girlfriend. I wouldn't say I'm self hating, I appreciate my own good qualities, I just don't have any faith that other people do. The dilemma I'm in at the moment is there is a girl that I fancy (not really a strong enough word but it's the best I could think of). We have been friends for a few months and I am now facing the choice of either asking her out and potentially making our friendship awkward (we aren't incredibly close but do see each other quite a bit), or not asking her out and feeling terrible for potentially missing out on a wonderful opportunity like I've done so many times before. I don't have many people in real life that I'm comfortable talking to about things like this and I'm just really confused about how well you have to know someone before it becomes weird to suddenly ask them out. Do most people ask out friends ? It seems like they do but I've heard so many people say they don't because they don't want to ruin the friendship. I'm so lost right now

secondwife Brother in law being so hateful and mean
  • replies: 1

My brother in law wouldn't even speak to the kids at my father in laws funeral and has said such nasty things about me I think he is mentally ill. He destroys every family occasion being so volatile and if anyone dares to not agree with any of his id... View more

My brother in law wouldn't even speak to the kids at my father in laws funeral and has said such nasty things about me I think he is mentally ill. He destroys every family occasion being so volatile and if anyone dares to not agree with any of his ideas or opinions he flips out and starts a fight. Every Christmas he has done a runner in the middle of the night after behaving like a 3yr old throwing tantrums and taking back presents (he's 50). He sends vitriolic text messages to us then expects us to forget they existed. We got him help after a psychotic episode last year at our expense and have always showed him love and acceptance even if we don't agree with his lifestyle (he is gay and HIV positive).how do we deal with him as my mother in law needs all the family support she can get with my father in law passing away from cancer.

Daphne68 Grandmother denied access to grandchildren - daughter ? hates me
  • replies: 6

Hello community i am struggling as I have not seen by grandson of 2 since Xmas, my daughter is single and has chosen this path, she is 32. She had another babe in May 2018 and I have never seen him and there is no contact. She is the first born and a... View more

Hello community i am struggling as I have not seen by grandson of 2 since Xmas, my daughter is single and has chosen this path, she is 32. She had another babe in May 2018 and I have never seen him and there is no contact. She is the first born and as a child was delightful till she reached age 7, then had "rages." I had a second child when first born was 2. I separated when the girls were 4 and 2 and have worked incredibly hard to provide for them and have done my very best, clearly not enough. Older daughter disclosed sex abuse when she was ? 8 or 9, This was perpetrated by a 13 yo boarder who once I found this out threw him out. Terrible time. Teenage years were hell, with chaos, oppositional defiance, rudeness beyond belief. School drop out (both girls) Year 9 which broke my heart as education really is everything. From ages 7 - 20, we have had sooooo much therapy, counselling, in-patient stays, a huge myriad of health professionals, meds, older daughter has self-harmed, went to live with her father who was more like a brother, took and overdose x 1, much physical illness and over-eating, as I write this my anxiety is high as I relive the nightmare of that time. I think I tried EVERYTHING, all those years ago.. and to date. Ensured both girls have own homes. I just want to see my grandchildren say once a fortnight, be a granny. Older daughter does not want to have anything to do with me, and this is sooo painful. Yes I have had and still do, have counselling and I lead a busy fulfilled life otherwise. The grief is just terrible. Older daughter states "she wants to protect the children from me" so I just am at a loss to what more could I have done to make heal and repair and at the same time provide for these girls. Older daughter appears to be a good and responsive mother, she is a good money manager, however in the early days with first grandson I would visit her (drive an hour), only to be watched like a hawk, never left alone with him, not allowed to help her with housework (she lives in abject chaos). Child goes to child care which probably is his saving grace. I just want to be a part of the life of my grandchildren. I and my ex are the only grandparents, and they have no father (the sperm was a transaction). Any bright ideas of dealing with all this please? Say it how you want to .....many thanks Daphne

BB1986 Space
  • replies: 3

My partner wants obe thing at the moment and its for me to give her space . I have not been dealing woth my anxiety and have been in a constant circle of getting good and going backwards for 2 and half years she cant do it anymore i have really made ... View more

My partner wants obe thing at the moment and its for me to give her space . I have not been dealing woth my anxiety and have been in a constant circle of getting good and going backwards for 2 and half years she cant do it anymore i have really made a difference with myself and closwd alot of chapters which previously left open lead to me going backwards and i get she wants space but im unsure on how im supposed to ignore her even when im away at work ????