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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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friendfriend Friend pushing me away
  • replies: 1

One of my best friends (he’s male, I’m female) has suffered from pretty severe depression and anxiety for a few years now, for reasons I am not aware of. I tried my best to have his back and support him through everything, I never gave up on him and ... View more

One of my best friends (he’s male, I’m female) has suffered from pretty severe depression and anxiety for a few years now, for reasons I am not aware of. I tried my best to have his back and support him through everything, I never gave up on him and we got along very well. He always had my back too, anytime I struggled with certain aspects of my life he always knew what to say. For a long time he was in a sort of not too serious ‘relationship’ with my sister, which I’m guessing gave him more reason to get along with me, but that retain my wasn’t the thing that defined our friendship. Sadly, a few months ago he made a more serious attempt at harming himself and his depression became much worse. I got very scared and emotional and I still am worried about him, but since the incident he has completely cut me out of his life. My sister and him have since fallen out, he cheated on her and began trying to make her feel bad for what he did. He acts like we never even knew each other, gangs up on me to pay me out and say nasty things, blocked me from social media and always puts me down. I have no idea what to do, I feel betrayed in a way, but more overwhelmed with sadness that our friendship is all of a sudden just gone. Especially because he has helped me with so many problems that I am currently still dealing with and he is not there to help me anymore. How do I build our friendship back and apologise and make him see that he is still so important to me without sounding stupid and without him pushing me away and embarrassing me? I have no idea what to do or what happened between us to ruin our friendship but I want it back so badly. Please help.

Falstad Partner is depressed and has ended our relationship! Please help!
  • replies: 1

Hi, This is a long an complicated story but I'll try my best to put everything in. I'm 31 years old and have a 7 year old son and was married for 7 years. There's was no love or affection in my previous relationship and I was treated like crap. My cu... View more

Hi, This is a long an complicated story but I'll try my best to put everything in. I'm 31 years old and have a 7 year old son and was married for 7 years. There's was no love or affection in my previous relationship and I was treated like crap. My current partner is 38 years old and has 3 kids 18, 15 and 3 and she was coming off an abusive relationship where she had been sexually and physically abused. When we met, we were both living with our ex's at the time and obviously that made things complicated. We both slept in separate rooms than our ex's and both ex's made our lives a living hell when they knew we were seeing other people. Anyway, me and my current partner had a thing for each other for years and when we first kissed it was instant love time stood still for me and I knew I loved her and she was the one for me from that point it was perfect. We started to try for a baby almost straight away and we fell pregnant on a holiday and thing's were great so I thought. We came back home and we were both living with our ex's but my partner was still getting verbally abused by her ex and it caused a lot of issues and fights obviously I wanted to be there and due to the stress and pressure ultimately she lost the baby. She pushed me away once she found out she was pregnant and I blame myself for her losing the baby I should of done more (I also blame her ex for causing her all the stress). Anyway we both had a drunken night together to help get other the loss and while it's not the best way to deal with things it helped. so we moved on and started to put in offers for houses and applying to the banks...Now... the thing was we both had houses with our ex's and obviously needed to sell to start our perfect life together. I sold my house and gave up A LOT to my ex so she'd agree to sell so I could start a life with my partner and try again for a baby. My current parent kicked her ex out and didn't sell. Now long story short, My current partner doesn't want a baby Her ex now lives with her again She doesn't want to sell She has ended it with me She is suffering from depression She just wants to be alone I'm really struggling to understand how to deal with this because the moment I try to move on she comes running back saying how much she loves me how jealous she is and so on. I don't understand how to deal with all of this because 2 days ago we kissed and cuddled and she said You know the way I feel yet doesn't want to be with me? Can anyone please help!!!!

Helenmc Are there ever any happy reconciliations?
  • replies: 7

I've read a lot of personal stories the last few days and I've never read a feel good ending . is it all negative and doom and gloom? surely there's got to be stories out there where people have reunited and it's worked out? would love to read some .... View more

I've read a lot of personal stories the last few days and I've never read a feel good ending . is it all negative and doom and gloom? surely there's got to be stories out there where people have reunited and it's worked out? would love to read some . Helen

Leonie230 For those who have betrayed and being betrayed. A question for you.
  • replies: 7

Im struggling with being betrayed by my husband. Im trying to keep our family together since this has happened. We are both actively trying to repair the damage hes done and wants his family back again. My question is does the person who did the betr... View more

Im struggling with being betrayed by my husband. Im trying to keep our family together since this has happened. We are both actively trying to repair the damage hes done and wants his family back again. My question is does the person who did the betrayl deep down think their partner is an idiot for wanting to repair the brokenness? Sometimes I feel that he must just look at me sometimes and think what a idiot I am for not walking away completely. Leonie

Bobby41677 Lonely and lost
  • replies: 4

I've cane on here to talk to people who might understand. My son got sick and almost died, it made my wife rethink our relationship and she left me, taking custody of the kids. Lost my house too and everything else.bthey we're the only family I had, ... View more

I've cane on here to talk to people who might understand. My son got sick and almost died, it made my wife rethink our relationship and she left me, taking custody of the kids. Lost my house too and everything else.bthey we're the only family I had, I have no friends or even acquantices. I now go up to weeks with no one to talk too, I'm just feeling completely alone in my life

melissam76 He wants the party life & tells me Im boring cos i stay home & care for our 6 year old
  • replies: 4

Hi there, 10 years into our relationship & my partner is out at least 3 nights a week till very very late (playing darts?) he thinks Im boring as I stay home with our 6 year old daughter who is a real challenge to say the least. He puts me down all t... View more

Hi there, 10 years into our relationship & my partner is out at least 3 nights a week till very very late (playing darts?) he thinks Im boring as I stay home with our 6 year old daughter who is a real challenge to say the least. He puts me down all the time, we manage a caravan park with his mum & step dad and he constantly tells me Im useless and makes me feel incompetent. To cut a long story short, Im drained, maybe even broken. I have gone from a strong girl to an emotional wreck. I have no family close by, they live interstate so Im pretty alone.

Sobrokenup Husband admitted chatting online with a girl overseas for a month and wants to meet her & have a long distance relationship with her
  • replies: 9

Am I a fool for staying? At the beginning of June my husband told me he loves someone in America that he has been chatting with online.They have only chatted for one month! They have sent each other a couple photos and also do voice messages. He is a... View more

Am I a fool for staying? At the beginning of June my husband told me he loves someone in America that he has been chatting with online.They have only chatted for one month! They have sent each other a couple photos and also do voice messages. He is at home all day messaging her while I am at work. He also stays up all hours of the night messaging her. I am staying because financially I cannot live anywhere else. I am not an Australian citizen we are from NZ. We also have a son who thinks the absolute world of his Dad. I have no family here just a few friends, but they are not super close to me. He has said he will look after my son & me and visit the girl frequently... if him & the girl don't work out he said maybe we could get back together... He is sleeping in another room...I don't know where the doting husband & father to my son has gone. This is simply totally shocking and heart breaking..... Tonight I broke into tears & said I can't take his coldness & anger towards me anymore. He now talks to me like I'm a stranger or at times even worse than a dog.. I said sometimes I feel like just taking my son & moving back to NZ. But my heart breaks for my son knowing that he would hate to be away from his Dad......And the real killer for me is that tonight he said if that's what I really want I should do it!!! Without even any hesitation or thoughts for his own child's little heart breaking.......he acted like he could careless. This is shocking behaviour each day I am seeing a new different ugly side to this man. One month ago he was so loving and just the ultimate family man. How can this happen?

Cherryorchard A bit lonely and confused... what to do from here?
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, I am new to BB and I am just looking for advice and support. I have a great life, but just the last month I am starting to feel really lonely and blue. I was born in a small family and all my life have intermittently struggled with bouts... View more

Hi everyone, I am new to BB and I am just looking for advice and support. I have a great life, but just the last month I am starting to feel really lonely and blue. I was born in a small family and all my life have intermittently struggled with bouts of loneliness. My dad has bipolar and that has given me some childhood trauma, although overall he is a good guy but it was hard sometimes. Because my hubby and I moved around quite a bit and I have changed jobs fairly regularly I don't have a large network of local friends. I do try my best, and have met some people through my kids kinder/school/playgroup and also I walk with a lady in our street. I try to keep contact with my friends from earlier years too but they are fairly far away and busy with their own life. I have a brother who is lovely but he is very busy and not awesome with emotional stuff so he is not able to really give me the companionship I crave either.... I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband and children and hobbies etc that I am passionate about, and financially things are good. But I still feel so alone sometimes and I often feel like I am the one reaching out to others, I just wish more times it was other people taking the initiative so I didn't feel like I am always pushing myself on other people. It's like I always want more than people can give. I am starting to have some dark/negative thoughts and feel worthless and it's not great. I really appreciate any advice- especially in regards to friendship, making a support network etc. Thank you so much to those who read this.

K2 Being shut out
  • replies: 7

Hi, how do people overcome the feelings one experiences when your partner shuts you out of their life...it’s only been days for me but I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t know what she is feeling at all. It was entirely my fault for this outcome. I’m askin... View more

Hi, how do people overcome the feelings one experiences when your partner shuts you out of their life...it’s only been days for me but I can’t eat or sleep. I don’t know what she is feeling at all. It was entirely my fault for this outcome. I’m asking for peoples help with coping strategies please. I have found if I write letters it helps me temporarily...

Morpork79 Trailing spouse
  • replies: 7

I'm in a bit of a spot. Australia is great, it's an awesome country but it's not home . I moved here towards the start of 2017. I followed my academic partner after some time doing long distance. This was not a move i did easily, I left a job I loved... View more

I'm in a bit of a spot. Australia is great, it's an awesome country but it's not home . I moved here towards the start of 2017. I followed my academic partner after some time doing long distance. This was not a move i did easily, I left a job I loved (admin), was well respected in the firm & had moved up. I had a year in my new position which was testing but when things got easier for me my partner put the pressure on for me to move. I think he was worried I would stay. Initially his contract was only for a year but it keeps being moved out. Me....ive found it difficult to settle here. I'm in my late thirties and was set up to purchase my own home. Work wise I've found it difficult. I've gone from being high functioning to suffering anxiety & unable to stick at a job. I left the first one due to having a unprofesdional bullying boss. Almost a year in I'm missing my home country more and more. At this stage in life we should be thinking about a family (which we need treatment for); instead I'm dealing with anxiety and wondering what on earth I'm going to do career wise now. I miss my lifestyle back home, and worry that I should be spending time with my parents who are in their senior years. A job came up back in our home country (6 hours drive) and initially my partner was going to apply. Now he's saying that he's on a better gig here. I feel I'm in a no win situation & there is no end date, I've never had depression before and I think it's triggered by this situation. If I make him move home I worry that he will resent me, if I don't I will be miserable. I'm starting to think the only solution is for me to end it with him which will be painful. Financially this move has been so bad for me.