Christmas Dread

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎23-12-2022

I couldn't decide where to post, but loneliness fits. This is not my first time spending Christmas alone, but for some reason two days out and I feel quite panicky and gross just thinking about it. I really just can't wait until it's over. It doesn't help that everything stops/closes for a period, contributing to that sense of isolation. I try and tell myself "it's just another day" and it's not even today, or tomorrow, but my body and mind are unconvinced, and I feel rubbish. I'm doing whatever it is I would normally be doing, but not feeling good. And I've ordered some yummy food to eat Christmas Day and bought myself a gift, but just can't shake the grossness and not sure what else to do.

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎28-12-2022

HelloGail - That's a good idea. I'm not familiar with one here like that, but there possibly is. I know a few people posted on a local facebook group looking for something like that. I know I'll definitely plan better next year, as "intense loneliness" is a good description, and I didn't handle it very well at all this year. Really don't want to go through that again. We have 12 whole months to change things, right? 🙂

Sadie23 · ‎28-12-2022

Hi Katy

Hope you are starting to feel better. It is indeed a difficult time of year and as you say the usual supports are just not there. You were very helpful to me a while ago and I still remember it. Thank you for being such a valuable contributor to this forum.

Regards

Helen

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎29-12-2022

Hi Helen

What a lovely message, thankyou. I do feel a bit better today. I hope things are going ok with you.

Katy

Sadie23 · ‎31-12-2022

Hi Katy. I was doing really well but have had some recent set backs. Thanks for asking. How do you manage NY eve?

Helen

WaterFront · ‎02-01-2023

Hi Katy and everyone else on this thread,

I hope everyone is doing okay now that this festive season is over. I think it is the disruption to our normal routines that doesn't help because many of our usual distractions are not so available to us. I rely heavily on work, and keeping busy, to stop my mind from dwelling on things I would prefer not to dwell on. Possibly not the best coping mechanism as it doesn't really deal with the problem. Lol. I didn't start this reply to talk about me!

The idea of planning ahead for next year which was mentioned seems like a fine idea. It takes some of the uncertainty away and helps with feelings of being in control. Like, volunteering or community groups if you want to be around people or saving the best book or TV binge if you don't. If you have a plan then it kind of takes the anxiety away.

Maybe there's a lot of 'should' in there too - I should be doing this/that, feeling this/that - pressure to be/think/feel a certain way because it's that time of year which we 'should' try not to buy into if we are not up for it. Trying to avoid triggers as much as possible in the 'run-up' to the festive season - easier said than done as it is everywhere.

I hope all is well for each of you and I thank you for being here on BB and being part of this community. I find the support a real comfort, even when just reading the advise given to others.

Warmest regards,

WF

Moonstruck · ‎02-01-2023

I knew I was not alone in my opinion of the farce that is"Christmas".....read my latest on my thread I Can't Find he Right Place to Post"if you feel like it.......its a dreadful time of year and a type of mental/emotional cruelty to such a large slice of our community, why do they torture these poor souls like this every single year? Tone it down folks PLEASE.....Please media, Please TV presenters....be subtle, be gentle, be considerate of those who: have just lost someone close due to death; separated from family thru arguments; little kids who have one of their parents absent; kids whose parents do drugs, drink and fight even more at Christmas. Elderly people who have trouble getting around, whose family may be far away, or simply not interested in visiting them....those who have been thinking of suicide for which Christmas is the time they finally decide they've had enough!!!

To those sitting down to lovely food, plenty of grog, laughs, hugs, beautiful expensive presents, fabulous lit up houses.....spare a thought for these people and tone it down, or keep it to yourselves!! It is doing so much harm and yet goes on every year, after year, after year. Mass mental cruelty!!!

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎13-01-2023

Hi all

Apologies that I never got back to this thread. Has definitely been a rough period. I still feel flat.

Helen, yes, I do struggle with New Years as well. How did you go? Are you manging ok now?

Waterfront, perfectly ok to talk about yourself here. It's nice to hear we're not alone with our struggles. I agree, the absence of the usual distractions is challenging. I've just got back to my volunteering on Thursday, and look forward to my MH group recommencing next week. There was a vast awful stretch of nothingness for a bit. I hope you've settled back in to work and the new year ok. Interesting and valid point you make on distractions too, BTW. Is it an avoidance tactic or taking a break from your worries? You can't be "doing the work" (and by that I mean working on your MH) 24/7, but good to be working on it at some point.

Hi Moon, nice to see you here too. Agree with you very much that there are a variety of people who struggle through this period for a variety of reasons. Life is difficult and we all need to be a bit kinder and gentler and more thoughtful of others. I share WF's sentiments that I'm grateful for these forums and all the people herein who share and care for each other.

Thirteen days into the new year and I still feel unbalanced by the intermission. I was kind of on a roll and putting things in place and felt some momentum, and then the rug got pulled out from under me and I can't quite work out how to get back on. Maybe next week things will feel better?

Kind thoughts to all, Katy

Moonstruck · ‎21-12-2023

Hello everyone

Usually each year there are several threads on Christmas but this is as recent as I can find.which is the lead up to last Christmas. Can anyone tell me if there are any recent ones written in the last few weeks etc?....thanks Moon S

WaterFront · ‎22-12-2023

Hi Moonstruck,

I haven't seen any Christmas themed posts so far this year. You can start you own thread if you want to. Is Christmas being difficult for you this year?

It is such an emotionally/mentally upsetting time for so many people. I respond to Katy's analogy of the hamster wheel where you jump on and keeping moving forward (I hope that is not misrepresenting your intention Katy - just how I interpreted it) and Christmas kind of derails that and then it takes time and personal resolve/effort to start moving forward again.

You could come back and talk here if you like or start your own thread. Let the BB community know what's on your mind or bothering you. We are all here to listen and provide support to each other.

WF

randomxx · ‎22-12-2023

lt's mainly the family side of it that gets me undone. lf not for that and all the feelings and probably self imposed really, pressures l feel because or them, l'd have no problem at all just cruising through doing my own thing.

When l was married we'd have beautiful Christmas whenever we just stayed home and did our own thing.

My families pretty well 4 hrs away and although there's not really pressures as such, self imposed as l say really, l just feel weird guilts if l don't go down to at least a Christmas now and then, but l hate it. l don't wanna stay the night somewhere so a 4hr drive on a christmas day and then usually back again to later, is just mad.

But my families huge so it's really the only time l'd manage to catch most of them at all , could be yrs, if l don't do one now and then so it gets 20 birds with one stone if l do though and then that;s it, l've seen them all for another few yrs then.

At the same time, l just don't have it in there it's too much.

lf not for that l'd be happy as just doin my thing right here at home and the rest of the world can just go on with all their silly christmas dramas .