Children with anxiety

[Mumworrier]

I just posted yesterday for the very first time about my own anxiety but also realising how much I may have impacted my children. At times everything is fine but just lately my 10 year old cannot seem to go to sleep on his own and bedtime has become exhausting for everyone. More worryingly though is that I think he has picked up on my anxiety with illness and is now pretending to be sick. I am worried he has actually made himself vomit because he knows if he is unwell I will sit in his room until he falls asleep. He denies faking vomiting but I have seen him genuinely sick over the years of being his Mum and this feels unusual. He denies being worried about school etc when I asked if anything was bothering him. He is usually a happy and well-liked, if not maybe a little bit quirky, little boy but I am struggling to understand if he is genuinely sick or just trying to get attention or out of school or putting on a show for some other reason. At a loss!

[MsPurple]

Hi Mumworrier.

I had anxiety problems as a child. My memory is vague but I struggled with falling asleep which would cause me to become distressed at night, I also was anxious about wetting the bed so went to the toilet several times before bed and I was a worrier. Two years ago at the age of 23 I was officially diagnosed with GAD (other diagnosis on the way but not relivant for now).I know how difficult it must be for you to have to deal with this and not knowing what to do, and I also understand the perspective of your son

My parents took me in to see a doctor. I suggest making a long appointment with your GP with your son. Discuss what has been happening and going on with him. Especially the night time anxiety. If they think he may have some anxiety issues they may refer to a child psychiatrist or a counsellor who works with children. I went and saw one. Not gonna lie I didn't like the first one I saw, but when I was 15 I saw one that was really helpful. It may turn out to be nothing but a bit of stress for your son, however it is better to discuss it with your GP now to be on the safe side. My sister also had anxiety when she was young (10). She had a few cousins die and she was anxious about death. SHe saw a counsellor for about a year and now she doesn't seem too anxious. She doesn't see anyone anymore (now 15). So having something as a child doesn't mean it is long term. 1 in 4 will deal with a mental illness at some stage of their life. Remember not all mental illnesses are chronic or lifelong. However in saying this it is easier to overcome it with help and support. It is better to know what is going on so you can really help out.

Also if your son is struggling with bed time what my mum did was read me a visual book before bed. She would tell me to close my eyes and would read in dim light. I don't remember what the books were but they were designed for anxious kids and helping them sleep. Mostly about visuals and sensations than a story (I remember imagining I was on a beach). Maybe try setting aside 30 minutes before his bed time and read to him with the lights dimmed may help him sleep.

Hope some of this is helpful.

[adrl]

Hi Mumworrier

I just read your post about your son. I am currently 17 years old and i still have really horrid anxiety bouts where I am just covered in sweat, my heart is racing and i feel physically ill, this was as a result of a really tumultuous divorce between my parents and then exacerbated by a variety of other things that have happened only recently so finding the root of the problem while he's still young is definitely the right way to go. At this point in my life I really, really wish my parents had taken me to a GP or child psychologist or something similar to ease my anxieties as a child so they didn't manifest later in life with even more intensity.

I sincerely hope that all goes well with both you and your son x

[Mumworrier]

Thank you both for your responses. It is definitely worth making every effort to ensure my kids mental health is as looked after as their physical health. I do not want them to live with the cycle of anxiety and worry. Thanks again.

[MsPurple]

Hi mumworrier

Glad I could help. I thought I should let you know there is a national youth mental health service called Headspace. it is for young people aged 12-25 (adrl this maybe useful for you too). They have GP, psychologists, psychiatrist and some have allied health. I know your son is not that age but maybe useful to know if the time comes

MP