Cheated on gf with her mum

[Guest_61345304]

I cheat in my gf everytime shes away I can't help it but I feel so bad 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It would be of benefit if you expanded on your post more. This is an anonymous site so it is secure.

TonyWK

[Jessica_Cloud]

You have control over your muscles. You have the choice to be faithful or to cheat. If cheating fills a need in you, like to have physical touch or to feel like a man, or to be wanted, I suggest you do some work on that. Your behaviour is damaging you.

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there, 

Thanks for being open with us. Could you provide a bit more detail so we can know how to offer support? That would be very helpful. 

You really have two options: to confess to your girlfriend to work on the relationship, or to part ways. Cheating is certainly not ok, and I can only imagine how much harm it can do to the other person. I’m guessing you’re not fulfilled in your relationship, and the first step is to take accountability for what you’ve done. 

Keep reaching out, I’m positive you will get a load of different responses here on the forums.

[therising]

The fact that you feel so bad points to a part of you that feels deeply for your gf. Perhaps the question becomes about what parts or aspects of you lead you astray at times.

• Could it involve a part of you that's basically looking for a sense of relief, when it comes to that type of built up energy which feels too exciting to keep to yourself or release yourself (when your gf's away)?
• Could it involve a part of you that cannot help but wonder and feel, 'I wonder what it would feel like to be with that person or this person'?
• Could it perhaps relate to a part of you that's longing for a greater sense of excitement? If so, could it be a matter of developing a number of exciting things to experience and share in the bedroom with one partner, instead of having a variety of experiences with a variety of people? 
• Maybe there's a part of you that's addicted to the excitement of that kind of high energy experience. You just can't get enough 'excitement'
• It sounds like there could be a part of you that's yet to fully come to life, maybe the disciplinarian (that part of us that disciplines us in certain practices). The practice of committing to one partner can have that part of us dictate 'Under no circumstances are you look elsewhere and this is how you're going to practice/manage not looking elsewhere...'
• If alcohol tends to be a trigger for bringing certain parts of you to life that lead you astray, while drowning out that which would normally guide you in the best direction, then it's alcohol that would need to be managed

I think, at the end of the day, the greatest consideration would have to be what facets of you your gf wants to be in a relationship with. If she's looking for the you that's 100% committed to a monogamous relationship, it would be fair to tell her that you can't give that to her and it's not in you at this point in your life. Btw, doesn't mean you can't bring that part of you to life in the future. Give her the freedom to decide whether she wants a monogamous relationship or an open one. While you give yourself the freedom to seek what you want or need, give her that freedom too. Hope I've helped in some way.