Relationship and family issues

Family & the guilt of breaking it

replies: 2

Hi everyone, im at a loss of what to do, I feel like i need & want to end my nearly 10 year relationship / 3 year marriage, we have more than 1 child. My fear is that I will be in a foreign country that I can not currently work due to my children’s h... View more

Hi everyone, im at a loss of what to do, I feel like i need & want to end my nearly 10 year relationship / 3 year marriage, we have more than 1 child. My fear is that I will be in a foreign country that I can not currently work due to my children’s health & I can not get any government assistance. My family support is all in another country I want to move back to but I don’t think my husband will let our children leave with me. I feel out of options staying is effecting my mental health and my children’s as well but they love their dad & would hate for us to break up but I feel physically and emotionally drained. Is there any advice on how to go about this situation? I feel when the time comes and I mention separation & moving he is going to become very difficult to come to understanding my reasonings and I am not in the position to obtain a lawyer. has one one else gone through anything like this?

Worried

replies: 1

I have recently separated from my husband. It’s only been around 3 weeks ago. We still live in the same house. I look after my three children 7,8&9. He is an alcoholic, although he’d never admit to being one. This is why we are no longer together as ... View more

I have recently separated from my husband. It’s only been around 3 weeks ago. We still live in the same house. I look after my three children 7,8&9. He is an alcoholic, although he’d never admit to being one. This is why we are no longer together as he didn’t put his family first. I look after our children 99% of the time. He doesn’t help in any way, shape or form with them. Pretty much never does anything with them alone, only takes them to his brothers who lives locally. He mentioned he was taking them to an event about 45 minutes away next weekend and it goes from around 4pm until 9pm. He is planning to drive there and come back home after. My concern is that they are going to an event where alcohol will be served and he will have the kids out after dark and will be driving them home. I just don’t trust him and I’m worried about my children’s safety. We don’t have a parenting plan in place yet. Please help, I don’t know what to do

Betrayal and humiliation

replies: 24

When we first met, our values and morals were completely aligned. Our relationship felt strong, and we built a life together, raising children, sharing responsibilities, and supporting each other. I became runned down from things happening ,life and ... View more

When we first met, our values and morals were completely aligned. Our relationship felt strong, and we built a life together, raising children, sharing responsibilities, and supporting each other. I became runned down from things happening ,life and we talked about it , i didn’t feel like being intimate for a very long time, only on and offs. The first serious betrayal happened in September, after a big fight. He had left for a week so we could get space. Despite that, we continued our relationship. On 26/12, we were intimate. At times, I didn’t want sexual contact because I was tired or exhausted from work, family, and daily life, but I offered other forms of intimacy, which he declined. I felt sad that I couldn’t meet all his needs in the way he wanted, even though I was trying. Then, a few days later, around 3/1, he went to sexual service again. This was shortly after we had spent time together and had been intimate. I discovered this by accident, and it felt like the trust I had was completely shattered. He admitted what he had done and expressed shame, taking responsibility for his actions, but he also said he didn’t know if he would have stopped if I hadn’t found out. That left me feeling scared that this pattern could continue. He has said that he wanted closeness and intimacy, but still sought sexual services elsewhere. It’s hard to reconcile that he wanted connection with me but also chose secrecy and actions that hurt me. We have also discussed how his behavior affects our relationship and the children, though they don’t yet know the details. It’s worrying to think about how this impacts their sense of security and trust. He has started taking on household chores and responsibilities for the kids on his own, which I notice. After 9 years together, it’s hard to understand why these actions happened now. Our intimacy, values, and life together had been strong. Still, these behaviors emerged under stress, exhaustion, and other pressures, showing that patterns and choices sometimes override intentions. This is the timeline of what has happened, how I felt, and the steps being taken to address it. I’m sharing this to be honest about the process, the hurt, and the attempts at accountability, while also acknowledging how complicated and confusing it all is. what would you do?

Me Time

replies: 3

Does anyone else ever wish they could have time living away from their family ? That is how I have been feeling recently.

unplanned pregnancy

replies: 1

Hi I have been with my boyfriend 8 months. We both live separately with family about 2 hours apart. I am 8 weeks pregnant and to be honest we haven’t had a proper discussion I just assumed things were ok and we would work it out but he told me last n... View more

Hi I have been with my boyfriend 8 months. We both live separately with family about 2 hours apart. I am 8 weeks pregnant and to be honest we haven’t had a proper discussion I just assumed things were ok and we would work it out but he told me last night his concerns about having a baby now in our situation ( a short term relationship, not living together, both early 20s, financially not prepared) Im not sure I can go through with not keeping the baby and he’s not sure our relationship can handle the added pressure it will bring. Has anyone been through this before open to all advice

Family and friends loss

replies: 2

(TW: Self-harm, Suicidal Ideation, Family Abuse.)To recap, at the start of 2025, I lost my entire friend group of six years. They were my chosen family, but when I was at my lowest, they accused me of "suicide baiting" instead of helping me. To make ... View more

(TW: Self-harm, Suicidal Ideation, Family Abuse.)To recap, at the start of 2025, I lost my entire friend group of six years. They were my chosen family, but when I was at my lowest, they accused me of "suicide baiting" instead of helping me. To make it worse, my best friend’s boyfriend used that moment to attack everything about me.. my weight, my living situation, and my art. I’ve spent the entire last year grieving them, and recently, after I tried to apologise to make things right, they just blocked me. I’m also finally no contact with my biological family, so I truly have no "home base" to go back to. I feel like I’ve lost my shorthand, my humor, and my sense of safety.Just a month ago i was in hospital twice for suicidal ideation and self harm, the second time because after i had blocked my father we had a heated conversation where he said trying to take my life was weak and denied everything he did to me in the past so of course i relapsed. The hospital has recently put me on new medication. Im almost 23, and i feel so lost without my friends. It feels unfair. And i feel like i cant make new friends anymore. I’m convinced my life is one big joke. My dad and his girlfriend are having a baby, and i won’t get to see them grow up. And i hope my dad doesn’t hurt them like he has with me. despite this, i have a strong urge to start my own family, and make sure they’re loved and cared for. I am already doing the work to try and bring my future kids into this world.

Just been dumped again

replies: 2

8 years ago I met girl in Thailand who just dumped me this morning.In fact shes ended it many times since my return to Aus. This girl is unique in that she is child like in her ways and I always suspected maybe some form of Autism. I took her under m... View more

8 years ago I met girl in Thailand who just dumped me this morning.In fact shes ended it many times since my return to Aus. This girl is unique in that she is child like in her ways and I always suspected maybe some form of Autism. I took her under my wing so to speak and for years helped her out. She became almost like a daughter to me ( she is 38 ) im 61. I spent couple years living in Thai but returned because of lack of money. But when i was homeless some years back this person gave me purpose to live when all around me was cold and bleak . Now i have depression again and I lost the only sunlight i was getting and that was our daily phone calls. I dont know if she will call me again or if this is one of her weekly mood changes. The point is im too afraid to be left in my bleak depression alone. I know all the sayings let people go if you love them but i cant help being selfish and need her more than she needs me. My only goal i had was to get well get job and go visit her . Without that goal i have nothing. Im sick of depression robbing my life and robbing my ability to fight on. My life my housing my outlook is so bleak im too afraid to really look at it because im scared of going insane. I seem to have put up a blocker and i think my brain is trying to protect me from that reality

Narcissist the label

replies: 25

Nowhere it seems more common than USA where people claim someone is a narcissist. Anything that evolves there, comes here quite quickly now with social media and internet influences. I read recently a question from a member of an international forum ... View more

Nowhere it seems more common than USA where people claim someone is a narcissist. Anything that evolves there, comes here quite quickly now with social media and internet influences. I read recently a question from a member of an international forum - "My narcissist boyfriend has gone silent for 2 weeks, does that mean it's over?" What followed was numerous answers all centreing on all actions a narcissist does, like using the silent treatment as a weapon, manipulation and grandiose reflections of themselves. Yet no one asked what actions the man labelled a narcissist actually did to deserve that label apart from having no contact for 2 weeks. Was the man using silence/absenteeism as a weapon or was he needing a break from a toxic relationship? Was he batheing in confidence or does he have a narcissist grandiosity demeanor? Does he manipulate or does he over suggest things due to not giving enough feedback? Google "narcissist meaning" there is 9 signs of one- Nine Signs and Symptoms of Narcissism Grandiosity. Exaggerated sense of self-importance. ... Excessive need for admiration. ... Superficial and exploitative relationships. ... Lack of empathy. ... Identity disturbance. ... Difficulty with attachment and dependency. ... Chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom. ... Vulnerability to life transitions I'd suggest most people claiming their partner is a narcissist, wont satisfy most of these symptoms. So the label is overused, inflammatory and unjust... bullying. E.g. A woman marries a guy that, later on has proved he is (in her eyes- lazy, looks in the mirror hourly, need constant praise, doesn't show empathy for her struggles and relies on her career success for financial stability. They have had 3 kids and just separated.... He exercises his rights to 50% custody which is opposite of her desire of full custody. His partner labels him a narcissist. He loosely fits some of the 9 signs, enough for her to justify it. Little did anyone realise that HIS symptoms also mirrored depression, lack of confidence from a poor upbringing, stares at the mirror because he has social barriers, feels shame and has a loud voice. Friends believe her. That example might draw a long bow but claims by many that a narcissist is one when they are not is also a long bow...even longer! The message here is evidence, if not presented to endorse the label someone uses...It's likely a gross exaggeration. Best not to fall for others claim someone is narcissistic imo. TonyWK

Burnout

replies: 2

So I think I’m depressed and have adhd but I can’t bring myself to talk to my parents about it and that’s like probably making it worse. So a lot of the time I get really burnt out and like really can’t find motivation to do anything and I try to exp... View more

So I think I’m depressed and have adhd but I can’t bring myself to talk to my parents about it and that’s like probably making it worse. So a lot of the time I get really burnt out and like really can’t find motivation to do anything and I try to explain to my parents. “Can I just have like 10 minutes and then I’ll do it” but because I often forget about it they keep saying no and telling me I have to do it right then and there and that makes me like really worked up and overwhelmed and upset over it which then makes me grumpy and ‘moody’ and then they get mad at me for that because “can’t you just get over it?” And “there’s no use staying moody.” But I can’t just get over it. My household is one of those ones where there’d be an argument or something will blow up then everyone just moves on and like just forgets about it, and that’s something I just really can’t do. I don’t know how to talk to them about this and I mean they’re really supportive but they just don’t understand when I’m upset or when they’re pushing me to much and I think that makes it harder for me to talk.

struggling to make a decision

replies: 2

My partner of 30 years not married but never apart, and our 2 adult sons who currently live at home have had enough, what do i do? She has always loved the grog and drinks a lot our 2 boys are 21 and 29. We have always been a very tight nit family de... View more

My partner of 30 years not married but never apart, and our 2 adult sons who currently live at home have had enough, what do i do? She has always loved the grog and drinks a lot our 2 boys are 21 and 29. We have always been a very tight nit family despite the drinking but recently my youngest has told me that he has no feelings towards his mother anymore and the oldest says he has wiped her. I am guttered but not surprised with this but it hurts me. We had s massive argument yesterday and we got her to leave the house but now I want her back. The boys have told me that I wont loose them but they don't give a rats about her. I don't know what to do. I love this women but cant see a future, need some advice. She doesn't think the alcohol is the problem, says she will try but nothing ever comes of it, but lately she says that its her life and she can live it how she wants She is 46 and I'm 52..Maybe I am addicted to her and the drama? Is she right? I just want her to get help.

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Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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