Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Community Manager
You can win one of five $100 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 27 June 2025 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_14978740 Past insecurities impacting marriage
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone,I’m hoping to gain some sort of insight as to how I can get through this. I was in a very bad relationship for years. Cheating, mental and physical abuse ect. I’ve never fully dealt with the emotional trauma it left me with. I’ve always ... View more

Hey everyone,I’m hoping to gain some sort of insight as to how I can get through this. I was in a very bad relationship for years. Cheating, mental and physical abuse ect. I’ve never fully dealt with the emotional trauma it left me with. I’ve always had terrible self esteem and views on how I see myself. I’ve been in my current relationship for 7 years now and he is amazing. We got married last year. He has never done anything to hurt me or make me feel negatively at all BUT I still seem to feel threatened by others, scared he will cheat, worried he is more attracted to other women ect. It’s really bloody draining! I struggle to be naked around him as I’m worried I’m disappointing him with how I look. He clearly loves me more than anything and has never done anything to make these feelings valid but I don’t know how to get out of my own head. It’s literally stopping me from being able to enjoy our marriage to the fullest. It’s spiralled my binge eating and depression. I go through times when I’m not too bad and then there are times where it sends me absolutely crazy Please help!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! TIA

Tea Break Up and Moving across state.
  • replies: 2

Hi, my partner and I just split up. Mentally I just couldn't stay in the relationship any longer. He was drinking more and becoming possessive. If I left the house I would be questioned and called constantly. I go to woolies and a small 5min duck in ... View more

Hi, my partner and I just split up. Mentally I just couldn't stay in the relationship any longer. He was drinking more and becoming possessive. If I left the house I would be questioned and called constantly. I go to woolies and a small 5min duck in duck out would end up taking half an hr because id be stuck on the phone explaining why I needed to get milk and if id spoken to anyone. My family would call and he would beg me not to answer and if I did he would get mad and upset, saying all I do is talk to them when I should be spending quality time with him. When he was literally just sitting there on his phone while I was trying to get his attention to do something. The list goes on...I feel mentally crushed. I loved this man so much but as time went on in the relationship and things got worse my mental health started to decline. Ive lost most of my friends and feel extremely isolated. My anxiety levels have gone up as well as my depression. Life feels heavy. Ive moved away trying to start a fresh life but I can't stopping think I should stayed and worked on the relationship. He blames me for absolutely everything.

thanladies123 Pregnant with a short term partner
  • replies: 1

I am 25 years old and recently found out I am nearly 6 weeks pregnant with a short term partner I had that didn’t work out. Since finding out I have been through unexplainably complex feelings and emotions towards the situation. I have informed him t... View more

I am 25 years old and recently found out I am nearly 6 weeks pregnant with a short term partner I had that didn’t work out. Since finding out I have been through unexplainably complex feelings and emotions towards the situation. I have informed him that I am pregnant and his first response was “let me know the costs of termination”. I saw my GP to discuss my options, and was told I need to wait a further two weeks as my scans are too early to see anything and can’t receive intervention until then. As you can imagine, this has left me growing more and more comfortable with the idea and increasingly attached to the pregnancy as days go by. The thought of termination makes me feel physically unwell but I know I have to do what is right for the baby. I know I have the means to do this on my own, I have a great accomodating job and the most supportive family and friends in the world that would have my back through it all. But then I can’t help but feel guilty for potentially turning his life upside down for my choices that he has no say in. I’m sorry if this story is all over the place, I feel so stressed and emotionally exhausted. I am basically looking for any positive advise that can be offered to me as I navigate this challenging time.

Bailey13 Wanting to hear from survivors of infidelity
  • replies: 26

Hi, I have been on the receiving end of a cheating husband (married 10 years, 2 kids). I know the majority will say reconciling will never work but I'm not ready to write it all off. I'd love to hear from anyone who has stayed in their relationship a... View more

Hi, I have been on the receiving end of a cheating husband (married 10 years, 2 kids). I know the majority will say reconciling will never work but I'm not ready to write it all off. I'd love to hear from anyone who has stayed in their relationship after being cheated on and how they are coping or managed to find peace, if that's even possible. My husband is very determined to rebuild or marriage. I sway day to day from feeling positive to not comprehending how it could possibly work. I'm feeling really stuck and scared of making everything worse either which way I turn. I don't want to fully invest myself back into our relationship unless i can cope with the lies and infidelity creeping up on me all the time. I trust that he loves me and would never do it again, but i don't trust myself to be able to get over it enough to not allow my hurt and sadness to interfere with our marriage. Anyone been or in a similar situation with some advice for me?

Tanti Loss of libido after kids - Relationship dying
  • replies: 3

My partner and I have been together for 10 years and we have 2 kids together (2y.o and 6m.o). My libido has yet to come back after my second child. To be fair, I think it was slowing down before kids but now it's non-existent.I've been to the doctors... View more

My partner and I have been together for 10 years and we have 2 kids together (2y.o and 6m.o). My libido has yet to come back after my second child. To be fair, I think it was slowing down before kids but now it's non-existent.I've been to the doctors and medically everything is all right. I just don't want sex. I don't think about sex. I don't feel sexy. I don't find anybody else sexy. It's as though my body is just numb. My body feels sexually and emotionally unresponsive.To engage in sex feels like a chore and I'm not getting much out of it.This is not a reflection on my partner. I love him. I just have no sexual desire and it's impacting everything.It's more dramatic than just no sex, my partner has said I no longer show him as much affection generally. I wasn't even aware I was being less affectionate as a whole until he told me.Knowing this does not change how I feel though. In order for me to be more affectionate, I have to consciously choose to act so. It's not intuitive anymore. And it feels forced and unnatural. I get the whole 'fake it until you make it' idea but it's not working and after a while I forget to make the effort because it's not an instinctual behaviour. I don't mean to do this. Then he has to have THE conversation again with me. Which makes him feel unheard and unimportant to me. And I feel like a bitch. To compound the issue, the pressure to perform and the continued conversations around how I keep failing are building resentment towards sex. I don't feel like it and now I'm also angry about it. I'm broken. My body is failing us both and I don't know what to do. We keep having the same conversation and my best efforts don't last. Our relationship is going to end and it's my fault. Part of me wants to end it and he can then move on to someone better.

Flyingmonkey Being Destroyed By My So Called Family
  • replies: 2

I have joined this site as I am besides myself with recent events.I have a twin sister and a brother, and an elderly mother. Twin sister has claimed she wants to help mother out (who lives in a retirement village). Brother lives interstate so he has ... View more

I have joined this site as I am besides myself with recent events.I have a twin sister and a brother, and an elderly mother. Twin sister has claimed she wants to help mother out (who lives in a retirement village). Brother lives interstate so he has nothing to do with anything however he is pertinent to this post. These three family members have never shown me respect, love, or any regard whatsoever. I have had a lifetime of bullying, gaslighting, ridicule, abuse. I have realised they are all narcissists. As the scapegoat I have tried to defend myself on many occasions, only to further inflame them. To this day I have no idea why this is the way of things..it just always has been. I have had a horrible life and I am sure it is because of them. My twin sister is always bullying me to visit mother. I do visit her regularly. I hate visiting her. She is totally selfish and never once asks anything about my life. It is all about her...as it always has been. However, I put on a brave face and try to be 'nice' (that is my part in this circus isn't it?). The last time I visited her I thought we had a good time. I bought her lunch (which incidentally I never get paid back for although my twin sister says she will pay me back as she controls mother's money!). I made her cuppas and watered her garden. She kept 'falling asleep' all the time....? I checked her temperature etc and she declared 'I have chronic fatigue syndrome' and I know nothing can be done about it'. So after one hour or a bit longer I left; I hugged her and told her I love her and I thought that was that. The following week my Aunty (whom I am very close to) visited me and told me that mother had rung her about a week after my visit asking Aunty if I hate her? Aunty was gobsmacked and said "I am sure she doesn't but I do know she has a lot of issues in her life right now" (which I do). I rang mother to discuss and she blew me off. I said to her once I thought it was sorted "I hope you haven't told my twin sister about this" as my sister is violent and I was scared she would do something? Mum said "No I never would make trouble between you two". So imagine how I felt when my sister rang the other day to tell me that Mum told her all about it? Also that she was on her way to the airport to pick up my brother? Not one of them told me he was coming over. I feel totally kicked in the head by all three of them and I actually hate them all now and want absolutely nothing to do with them. I guess I am just posting here as it is so horrible and I have never done them any harm...in fact I have done a lot to help them in various ways but they never reciprocate. I am almost 60 years old and I am totally over putting up with these horrible people. They ruin my life.

Jeanetta Long term relationship separation
  • replies: 1

My partner of 33 years left our home two weeks ago and is now staying with her son and family about 3 hours drive away. We are a great working team and compliment each other in so many ways. I have had mental health issues which I know has put a stra... View more

My partner of 33 years left our home two weeks ago and is now staying with her son and family about 3 hours drive away. We are a great working team and compliment each other in so many ways. I have had mental health issues which I know has put a strain on our relationship but she has always been supportive. In a way perhaps too much so trying to shield me from my social phobia and situations that will trigger anxiety. I now know I also suffer from perfectionism. When people told me that, I didn't think that was such a bad thing. I am an artist working in many mediums and am proud of the attention to detail and finish of my work. I now know perfectionism can be a contributing factor to other mental health conditions and put an enormous strain on a relationship through negative self talk, unrealistic expectations of yourself and others, (being critical), fear of making mistakes, anxiety and depression and more. My partner said there was power imbalance in our relationship with me more controlling and her placating. We had talked about counselling but I have been crippled by intense anxiety. I didn't recognise how much pressure I was putting on the relationship. Over the past 5 years my partner's health has deteriorated with several chronic illnesses and she is facing knee surgery which has made her less mobile. I haven't coped well. I know I have become more intense, desperate to find solutions to problems that are out of my control. I haven't known what to do to be more supportive. Discussions to find solutions have ended up in emotional conflict with no resolution. Since she has left I have been desperately looking for answers and realise now that there is help readily available. All the destructive behaviours that have pushed my partner away are recognised and help to address them is readily available. She now wants her own space and doesn't want to communicate with me. I feel completely lost and desperately sad that she may have made a resolve the separation is final with no chance of a future together.I have been getting help with daily sessions of hypnotherapy, going for long walks every morning which I am finding are incredibly helpful. If only I had understood and had the strength to take the step to get help long ago.I hope I can show her that I can change the destructive pattern of behaviour by actively addressing it through self and professional help. I am afraid to do anything that will push her further away.

quirkywords Controlling partner now has a serious neurological disorder.
  • replies: 12

I have mentioned about my controlling partner who is wonderful to everyone and to me about half the time.He has just been diagnosed with a neurological disorder .He was angry as I was away when he got the news and then hung up on me as I offered some... View more

I have mentioned about my controlling partner who is wonderful to everyone and to me about half the time.He has just been diagnosed with a neurological disorder .He was angry as I was away when he got the news and then hung up on me as I offered some practical advice. I wonder how people cope with a controlling partner who is unwell and will get worse.I want to care for him but am not sure my mental health can stand the stress of his anger and criticism. I would like to start a discussion on this topic.

Guest_84299112 Loss
  • replies: 1

I’m 42, for my whole life I’ve had a dysfunctional family. My mum wasn’t always there for me but I’ve always loved her. My whole life I’ve had brothers and sisters that have been toxic towards me. So I ended up disappearing in the back ground. I did ... View more

I’m 42, for my whole life I’ve had a dysfunctional family. My mum wasn’t always there for me but I’ve always loved her. My whole life I’ve had brothers and sisters that have been toxic towards me. So I ended up disappearing in the back ground. I did my own thing. Had my own family. Got a bachelor degree. A good job. No one said congratulations to me. I’ve had numerous issues with relationships where I always pick the wrong guy and I’ve now been single for 4 years. About 3 years ago my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. I tried to be there as much as I could. My mother was very close to the younger two siblings who are in their 30s. She had a lot more time with them as they have been unemployed their whole life. Where I was out working and keeping busy so I couldn’t be there all the time. Anyway, her cancer has spread to her brain and she has a few weeks-2 months to live. I was there every day. Helping shower her and look after her. My little brother wanted her home so he pulled her out of hospital and she’s on palliative care. Once she was home I didn’t think it was appropriate for her especially because he was going to be her main carer. He was not fit to do it. Because I voiced my concerns he threatened me, put me down, argued with me and so I walked out of their and never got to say goodbye to my mum. She can’t communicate via phone anymore due to her condition. But the two siblings have taken over control of her and I can’t see her. They won’t leave the room when I’m there and they hover around her. Anything I talk to my mum about they use it against me. They even use my job as a health professional against me. I assume out of jealousy. Now I haven’t seen my mum for 2 weeks. I can’t say goodbye because the two siblings won’t leave so I can spend time with her. I feel lately so traumatised by it all. I can feel my depression coming back. I also have PTSD so it’s bringing everything to the surface. I thought about going back on antidepressants but I hate the way I feel on them with the side effects. It’s the side effects that are the hardest and I can’t work or function for the first few weeks.

geelt I don't want to deal with the aftermath of change
  • replies: 1

My family dynamic is barely held together and is one small conflict from falling apart all the time. I can't stand dealing with the inane arguments and stupid points of conflict so I do what I can to ease the points of contention. This isn't the righ... View more

My family dynamic is barely held together and is one small conflict from falling apart all the time. I can't stand dealing with the inane arguments and stupid points of conflict so I do what I can to ease the points of contention. This isn't the right way to approach things and it's just sweeping the problems under the rug. These people aren't going to change and the root isn't going to be addressed. Communication is really difficult. No one likes talking to one another and they can't without one of them getting mad. I have to be the one to ask questions for someone or answer a question for them. Now its my job to be the mouthpiece for my mum and she assumes I know what everyone else is thinking. Even if I do everything myself, organize and cook my own food, I still need to come up with a menu for my siblings because my mum cant communicate with my siblings without being yelled at for being annoying. She struggles to come up with ideas for dinner because she doesn't know what they want to eat. and shes very picky and complains if we eat the same thing twice in a row and doesnt want us eating leftover food. The easy solution is to stop letting myself be the one to organize everything grow a spine, get everyone to contribute and maybe cook their own food instead of making it our Mum's job. If they don't come up with ideas for what to eat then no dinner for them. If I try this my Mum will panic and freak out and that defeats the point. I'm so terrified of being caught in the crossfire between arguments with my parents and siblings. Arguing with anyone and trying to make change is like talking to a brick wall. I hate getting angry because it makes me feel so pathetic losing control but its infuriating dealing with them. talking and trying to get others to change doesnt work. I cant sleep because im thinking how long i have to deal with this for. I want to help but its meaningless. I need to move out but I cant find a job. I cant get out of my head and make meaningful changes to my life and focus on what i can control. I love my family but they just make me mad all the time but i cant say anything because im just a crazy man getting mad at nothing. the result of my bad choices and spinelessness standing up for myself does nothing. no one else sees it as a problm. im really unintelligent if I cant handle doing this bare minimum let alone hold onto a job or study or anything real people do in life