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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Newuser Husband cheated with sex worker
  • replies: 3

With my husband for 16 years, married for 13 The last few years have been challenging as I feel he has just not cared about me as much and it has greatly affected our sex life, we have been arguing about petty stuff that makes me resent him. I have r... View more

With my husband for 16 years, married for 13 The last few years have been challenging as I feel he has just not cared about me as much and it has greatly affected our sex life, we have been arguing about petty stuff that makes me resent him. I have recently had time off work due to a traumatic incident and longer term work stress (several years) which has likely contributed to our relationship challenges and have gotten great support from a psychologist and have felt less stressed and felt our marriage has been going good with an improved sex life and he has also commented on thisi have just returned from a trip overseas to visit family and on return yesterday found suspicious bank ac activity and uber receipts and after some digging have found my husband has been to massage parlors twice whilst I was away, the night I left, and most recently the night before I got home. He has only admitted to the most recent saying he was drunk, doesn’t remember and “doesn’t think he had sex” just a massage and 2 “happy endings” but that cannot explain the late night $1300 bank withdrawals. My friend is suspicious he may have spent money on drugs aswell which would also be shocking. I only later realized about the first occasion and he has not answered my questions about that timeI have been hysterically upset Its all very raw <24hours He is very cold about it all and I have asked him to stay elsewhere I just cannot stop crying and have not eaten anything in 24 hours I have so many thoughts self blame, am I that bad, guilt, concern for his wellbeing (sounds crazy I know) where will I live, do I move back overseas, scheduling std testing, what do I tell people, what will he tell people -likely that I was an awful wife, how do I begin to navigate this??? He was my best friend and my world and I never would have thought he would betray me in this way.

Umar How Escape Forceful marriage
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m going through an extremely difficult and painful situation, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. My family is forcing me into a marriage I never chose or wanted. This marriage was arranged when I was ... View more

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m going through an extremely difficult and painful situation, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. My family is forcing me into a marriage I never chose or wanted. This marriage was arranged when I was just a one-year-old child, long before I could have any say or understanding. Now, as an adult, they expect me to accept it without question—as if I have no right to decide my own future.They keep telling me that it’s about “family honor” and that refusing the marriage will bring shame not only on me but on everyone in my family. They say I must comply for the sake of our family’s reputation. But this pressure is suffocating me. I feel like I’m losing control over my own life, my own freedom, and my happiness. I am scared and overwhelmed.What frightens me the most is the threats I’ve been receiving if I say no. They have warned me that I would become a “threat” to the family, and though they haven’t said exactly what that means, I am terrified of the consequences. These threats make me feel unsafe in my own home, and I don’t know who I can trust.This situation has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I have been having very dark and troubling thoughts, some of which scare me deeply because they feel like a threat to my own life. I feel trapped, isolated, and desperate for support. I want to live a life with dignity, freedom, and peace—not one ruled by fear and coercion.If anyone has been through something similar, or if you know of any organizations, resources, or advice that could help me navigate this, please share. I am desperate to find a way out or at least to find support and hope.Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Your kindness means more than I can express.

Hurt_hopeful Heartbroken
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I have suffered from major depression since the birth of my son 11 years ago. Approx 18 months ago I found out my partner of 13 years had been having an affair for 4 years ( the reason I found out was because she was pregnant, she did not pro... View more

Hi all, I have suffered from major depression since the birth of my son 11 years ago. Approx 18 months ago I found out my partner of 13 years had been having an affair for 4 years ( the reason I found out was because she was pregnant, she did not proceed with pregnancy ) our relationship had turned in to room mates however I turned a blind eye and was happy to just be in a relationship with him and to be living as a family. We spent 2024 living separately but trying to repair our relationship, I thought this was going well. We came back together at the end of last year and everything seemed good I had forgiven him we were no longer in the roommate phase. Then in Feb he mentioned that he could not move past the guilt, towards me, towards her and to the unborn child. At that point I decided that this relationship was no longer capable of being saved. He didn’t put up any protest and we have be apart since April. I am desperately sad, my anxiety is out of control and I find myself consumed with nothing but thoughts of him and how did I get here. Hopefully there are others who have come out the other side and can share some tips on how they have managed that. We currently co parent our son 50/50 so I see him multiple times a week and find myself asking him questions about his life, telling him I miss him etc.

Aveeno I feel so lost and confused
  • replies: 1

Hi, well as the title says I feel so lost and confused, hurt, angry, betrayed, lonely. I am going through a split worth a focus on healing with my partner of almost 20 years and with everyday we spend spilt the more I realise just how broken and dama... View more

Hi, well as the title says I feel so lost and confused, hurt, angry, betrayed, lonely. I am going through a split worth a focus on healing with my partner of almost 20 years and with everyday we spend spilt the more I realise just how broken and damaged I am. And I know I need to work on myself, I went straight from an abusive household to living with my partner and I never went to therapy to heal. I just existed in a depressed state for months before they dragged me out to meet people, and I hated them for it at the time but know I'm grateful. But I also now know it was the start of them resenting me. And yeah I spent so long unemployed, bit then I eventually found work and pulled myself up but then I let my weight slip because I was so focused on getting good work. And I started neglecting my partner without even realising it and that resentment grew because they felt they couldn't talk to me because I never healed properly from my trauma and I had zero emotional stability so they stayed quiet and just let it become indifference to me and I never noticed. Then it all started coming to a head, they final broke and said they hated my weight, so I'm doing something about it and I'm lighter then I've ever been, them came the confession of "I don't know how I love" and "hate would make things so much easier". And in two sentences my entire world imploded, they asked for a split so they can heal from there part trauma and so that I could heal from mine. But instead I clung to the ghost of us so tightly, I kept trying to fix us and I kept doing things to fix us and expecting them to do the same and expecting exclusivity still but that was ripped away from me and I've been very firmly told that if I don't butt out of there private affairs and actually work on me, there will never be an us again. And I feel so lost and confused, why can't we work on us?

PrincessE Criminal record help and anxiety
  • replies: 8

I am having anxiety attacks over this issue and it is making me sick to the stomach I unfortunately have a criminal record from 30 years ago which is still causing me grief even though I have tried to put this in the past and move on as I want to for... View more

I am having anxiety attacks over this issue and it is making me sick to the stomach I unfortunately have a criminal record from 30 years ago which is still causing me grief even though I have tried to put this in the past and move on as I want to forget the pasti am a good person and make silly mistakes when I was much younger and in a serious DV relationship with the wrong man for 25 yearsi walked away in 2020 to start a new life on my way to find peace and happiness Finally I have met the absolute love of my life, the most perfect beautiful man, a true gentleman and so respectful with the kindest heart in the world, we have been together 5 mths and life could not be more perfect and wonderfulWe have plans to travel the world and talk about the future and settling down together as we are both so in loveDue to my criminal record I am not been able to travel the UK as they would not grant me a visa to enter the UK due to my past I am feeling sick with worry about the future and feel as though I do not want to tell him about my past for fear of him judging and rejecting me as I am so scared of losing this beautiful man I travelled to Europe, Munich, Austria, Hungary and Czech Republic in December/January this year with no issuesThey are changing the travel laws bringing in the ETIAS next year and he is already talking about us travelling togetheri don’t know what to do and am so worried as I don’t want him to think I am hiding anything from him even though I have told him if he wants to ask anything about me I am happy to answer any questions but have not disclosed my past as he has had no questions What do I do please, I would love others opinions

Guest_45292427 Loveless and sexless marriage
  • replies: 1

Lost and don’t know what to do anymore its been Over three years since I have laid in the same bed as my partner . It all started with his heavy drinking and smoking I hated the smell so I started sleeping in spare room he would make promises after p... View more

Lost and don’t know what to do anymore its been Over three years since I have laid in the same bed as my partner . It all started with his heavy drinking and smoking I hated the smell so I started sleeping in spare room he would make promises after promises he would stop drinking during the week and spend time with me but instead it’s become worse he comes home from work and sits outside and watches the footy or scrolls on his ph whilst I sit alone in the other room 7 nights a week. three years of broken promises and telling me he will change and that he does love me. mum so lonely and so depressed but don’t know what to do.

TwinmumEST2024 MOTHER ISSUES
  • replies: 1

So ive been emtionally struggling for a month and a half. I had a argument with my 61 year old mother. One of my twins started to walk with her push walker and I was so proud I shared a short video on my Facebook of the back of her head. (I've expres... View more

So ive been emtionally struggling for a month and a half. I had a argument with my 61 year old mother. One of my twins started to walk with her push walker and I was so proud I shared a short video on my Facebook of the back of her head. (I've expressed strongly in the past that I didnt wish to have any photos of videos of my children on social media at all). However I really wanted to share the moment but also was mindful of maintaining my daughters privacy by not showing her face. The next morning I receive a blunt message from my mum "you put the girls on facebook". No good morning, no question mark or anything further. I took that as a dig of my decision as a parent. So I responded saying to her that "I never put their faces on anything. It's only the backs of their heads. Same video that was send to barb. I so not put anything that shows their faces. I also don't need to explain this to you because it was my choice and their mum." She responded hostile and said i was being nasty. And began to swear at me. And said she was only asking. I couldn't understand why she would need to ask me this when she was one of the first people to view it on facebook. I then explained that I dont need to justify anything to her then ended the conversation. She then randomly turned up at my home unannounced, my husband opened the door to her first thing she said "have I don't something wrong. I've blocked your number and you on facebook. She started to argue with me that she was only asking, and I said I didnt need to explain and her message did not look like she was asking, it was a challenge towards my decision. She began to talk over me. My husband told her our children are sleeping. She disregarded this and kept going. I asked her to leave because I didnt wish to argue with her over my decision as a parent. She kept refusing to leave. And tried to talk my husband against me who was sitting on the couch. That is when I had enough of her behaviour and disregard to my family and my home. That she thought she was above me in my home. I started to get angry and my hand was shaking. I told her to get the f$#k out of my house at the top of my lungs and mu husband said you need to leave. On the way out of the house she remarked "you need mental help". My mother has no respect towards my boundaries as a parent of my family. We have not heard from her for a month and a half. I've not contacted her because she stated that day she blocked me. Am I the bad person here? Her house make sent a message to my husband saying that I am the one who "fu#& up" not her. I can't but help feeling guilty about all this. But this has been ongoing behaviour of my mum for my whole life. And this is not how I plan to treat my daughters.

Shesaleo Working away
  • replies: 1

I have been offered a position at work but I have to do overnight travel a few times a year. My partner doesnt like to travel for work and when I said I really want to give this position a go he says thats the difference between u and I, I dont want ... View more

I have been offered a position at work but I have to do overnight travel a few times a year. My partner doesnt like to travel for work and when I said I really want to give this position a go he says thats the difference between u and I, I dont want to go away whereas you cant wait to.Is he being fair? Or am I being selfish by wanting to do this job? We have a 12 year old and 16 year old

Not_grumbling Abusive alcoholic wife
  • replies: 4

We are in our 60’s have been married for 40 years mostly happy but over the last few years my wife has been drinking more and more, now starting as soon as she gets up in the morning. She drinks all day and then the abuse starts. Bringing up trivial ... View more

We are in our 60’s have been married for 40 years mostly happy but over the last few years my wife has been drinking more and more, now starting as soon as she gets up in the morning. She drinks all day and then the abuse starts. Bringing up trivial things over and over, accusing me of things that I have never done and saying disgusting stuff. She has stopped me from seeing family and friends and virtually having a life. I know I should leave but it’s not easy. Is it possible that she has mental issues through alcohol? If so how can I get her help when she won’t admit she has a problem. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Kazza Finally breaking free after 25 years but it still hurts
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I’ve never posted before, but I’ve been reading here quietly for a while. Seeing how others put words to their experiences has helped me feel less alone. So I guess it’s my turn now — to share a little of mine. I’ve recently separated af... View more

Hi everyone, I’ve never posted before, but I’ve been reading here quietly for a while. Seeing how others put words to their experiences has helped me feel less alone. So I guess it’s my turn now — to share a little of mine. I’ve recently separated after 25 years in a relationship that I can now see was emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive. It took me decades to wake up. I kept hoping things would change. I kept telling myself it wasn’t “that bad.” But the truth is… it was slowly destroying me. And it started showing in my children too — their confidence fading, fear creeping into their daily lives, and me watching helplessly while trying to hold everything together. I was the primary carer, but he always held the power — emotionally and financially. My father had supported us for years, and once that money ran out, I saw the truth of how I was viewed. The love disappeared. The respect, gone. What followed was coldness, control, and cruelty masked in “reasonable” words. After the AVO was issued by police, I hoped he might reflect or take accountability — but instead, things got worse behind the scenes. I’m now going through mediation and hoping to create a safe path forward for my kids. I’ve been listening to Dr. Ramani and learning about narcissistic abuse — it's helped so much. But I’m also struggling with guilt. Guilt that I stayed. Guilt that my kids had to live through this. Guilt that I didn’t see it sooner. I’m working through Centrelink, Legal Aid, and trying to find a trauma-informed therapist. Some days I feel strong and hopeful. Other days, I feel completely broken.I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe just connection. Maybe to hear from others who’ve walked this path. How do you rebuild when so much of your identity was wrapped in surviving? How do you stop feeling like you were the one who failed? Thanks for reading. It feels scary to post this, but also like a small act of reclaiming my voice.