Relationship and family issues

Financial manipulation adult son

replies: 26

Hi, I have just blocked all contact with my 35-year-old son who for quite some time has been (don't want to call it financially abusing because I have willingly given him the money) but manipulating, guilting, for want of better words and I am now fe... View more

Hi, I have just blocked all contact with my 35-year-old son who for quite some time has been (don't want to call it financially abusing because I have willingly given him the money) but manipulating, guilting, for want of better words and I am now feeling extremely guilty and heartbroken for having done this and want to know if anyone else has done similar and how they have overcome the guilt, grief of losing their child.

50 marriage gone stale

replies: 11

Im a 70 year old male. My partner tells me I stopped her having a career as I asked her to be a stay at home mum till the 3 kids had started and settled in at school. 40 odd years ago there was not the society support there is now, which our kids are... View more

Im a 70 year old male. My partner tells me I stopped her having a career as I asked her to be a stay at home mum till the 3 kids had started and settled in at school. 40 odd years ago there was not the society support there is now, which our kids are benifitting from which is great.Our relationship has deteriorated to the point where I feel like she is now gaslighting me. Things like "I told you that" all the time, when Im 99.9% sure she hasnt 40% of the time. Ive lost a lot of confidence and not happy in our relationship. I was always saying im sorry for an argument we had which she dosnt. Ive stopped this now because it always felt like i was at fault. Not sure why im posting this but any comments would be appreciated. Cheers

I just need to Rant

replies: 2

Hi all, I am at 23 year-old female, turning 24 at the end of this year. There's a few things that I would like to get off my chest. For one I'm an enrolled nurse in New South Wales , i've started university to become a registered nurse, Which uni can... View more

Hi all, I am at 23 year-old female, turning 24 at the end of this year. There's a few things that I would like to get off my chest. For one I'm an enrolled nurse in New South Wales , i've started university to become a registered nurse, Which uni can be stressful. Secondly, I have a loving partner who I've been with for five years, who has Aspergers, and although I try so hard to help understand him, Sometimes i question his love as he can't show emotions. When we have an issue, I'm always blamed , even when I haven't done anything wrong. He always thinks he's in the right whenever I try and talk to him about a situation. He turns it on me which is very frustrating. Thirdly I still live at home. My dad is an alcoholic Mum acts like a child rather than a mother. My mum has three kids full-time she was 21. Me being the middle one, i have two sisters an older one who my mum had at 15 and a yonger one my mum had at 20. My mum had me at 18. I feel like everytime i try and put boundaries in place, my parents don't listen. I'm constantly waking up with a pitting feeling in my chest as if someone one or something you're sitting on it. I've noticed I do traits of anxiety such as nail biting, skin picking ,scratching my hair alot , biting my inside of my mouth leading into mouth ulcers and when im anxious i go shy and rub my hands together or i'll scratch my skin. I feel like i'm constantly having so much pressure on me all the time,i bottle my emotions and then i burst out on loved ones. I want advice on what i should do? Should i see my GP about me possibly having anxiety or should i start counseling to help me get through everything. Sorry for long post. Just needing gudiance.

Worried about daughter's relationship

replies: 1

Hi all.My 25 year old daughter has been with her Bf since they left high school. He's a nice lad but he has issues. The pair of them have constantly been on and off in their relationship, with him always hurting her by ending it because he doesn't wa... View more

Hi all.My 25 year old daughter has been with her Bf since they left high school. He's a nice lad but he has issues. The pair of them have constantly been on and off in their relationship, with him always hurting her by ending it because he doesn't want to commit to the relationship. He is quite controlling and gets upset when she doesn't put him first. They have isolated themselves and neither of them have many physical local friends, they just have each other. When they are apart, she becomes her bubbly self again. When they are together I hardly hear from her. Long story short, they split up again recently and I had the same conversation with her about needing to set herself boundaries, put herself first, stop isolating herself from her friends because of him and to stop putting him first over everything and everyone else. Every time I have this conversation with her, she listens, gets it, then as soon as he gets lonely, one phone call and she is back with him again. She is addicted to this relationship. Ive been very supportive of them both in the past but now I am done. She has just messaged me to say they are back together again because he now realises that he has been an idiot and misses her and now wants to commit to marriage etc. I haven't replied yet, because I am so angry she has fallen for this crap once again. I don't know whether to just ignore this message, be polite and not say anything - silence says a lot right? or do I have it completely out with her and tell her exactly what is what at the risk of loosing her. They are both good kids really but they are terrible for each other. It's not just me that sees this, my husband and my daughters Dad see this too. advice would be great. Thanks.

Emotional abuse and pregnant

replies: 2

I have been married for a year now.. seen the red flags but ignored them. Was in love. We got married.i got pregnant immediately and the emotional abuse started from the time we were on honeymoon... He has anger bursts which just come at one little d... View more

I have been married for a year now.. seen the red flags but ignored them. Was in love. We got married.i got pregnant immediately and the emotional abuse started from the time we were on honeymoon... He has anger bursts which just come at one little disagreement... Had the baby now,and I don't want him to witness the verbal/emotional abuse I receive every week or 2.. yes I'm very emotional and cry quickly.. yes I'm not a perfect wife,but I always try my best to be.. but this abuse from a loving wife is unjustified.. my partner even says he won't find anyone like me again.. but after so much counselling,nothing's changing much.. my question is- when is the best time to divorce when you have a new born??

Struggle with anxiety of being an entrepreuner

replies: 3

My Husband and I are two very different people who love each other the biggest issue is that I have a big family that he cannot handle and just wants a life with me and my daughter.

Partner ended the relationship due to her mental health

replies: 1

My partner has made the decision for us to seperate due to her mental health, as she doesn’t want to drag me down. There are no hard feelings towards her, she’s in a bad place and completely burnt out, I just wish I could support her and make things ... View more

My partner has made the decision for us to seperate due to her mental health, as she doesn’t want to drag me down. There are no hard feelings towards her, she’s in a bad place and completely burnt out, I just wish I could support her and make things better. We’ve been together for 12 years and have 2 kids, this is the most challenging thing I’ve ever had to go through and I feel like it’s only just begun. I can’t help but blame myself somewhat, even though I’ve been there for all of her battles and super supportive, is there more I could have done? I want my kids to be happy and her to be happy more than anything. Because we are co parenting under one roof I have to mask my feelings to try preserve hers, as a big part of the separation was that she didn’t want to feel accountable for potential self destructive behaviour. She is trying her absolute best, I know she is. This just sucks.. No questions, just wanted to vent

Intimacy issues with boyfriend

replies: 1

We (29F, 35M) have a loving, stable relationship. We’re best friends, communicate well, and are very affectionate. We met in a share house, quickly connected, and became official after about six weeks.The main issue is a significant drop in sexual in... View more

We (29F, 35M) have a loving, stable relationship. We’re best friends, communicate well, and are very affectionate. We met in a share house, quickly connected, and became official after about six weeks.The main issue is a significant drop in sexual intimacy after the honeymoon phase. We now have sex about once or twice every two months, and we’ve also stopped making out. This has been confusing and painful for both of us.I’ve become self-conscious about some weight gain and have blamed myself, though I know there are likely multiple factors. He also previously said he doesn’t masturbate or “can’t.”Possible contributing factors include:High stress, anxiety, and low moodHis long-term debt and job dissatisfactionLiving in a stressful share house with a toxic housemateAdjustment issues from never living with a partner beforeEmotional stress and self-image issues on both sidesI also have personal trauma I’m working through in therapy, and I earn more than him, which may affect our dynamic.A few months ago, I asked him to see a doctor. He delayed this for about two months, but has since gone and is undergoing tests (bloods, sleep study) and was told issues like mouth breathing and allergies could be relevant.Recently, he told me he thinks we should break up, saying he doesn’t feel like we’re in a “real relationship” and doesn’t feel sexual desire for me. This was very painful and unexpected. We both cried and had a very emotional conversation.He also said he still finds me attractive and later disclosed he has masturbated and watched porn, which surprised me.After discussing it further, we agreed to try for more time and explore solutions, though we both feel unsettled.From my perspective, key steps would be:Moving out of the current share houseImproving his financial and mental wellbeingCompleting medical testing and follow-upsStarting couples therapyPossibly individual therapy for him (though he is reluctant due to cost)He later said the main issue, from his side, is that my emotional stress has been affecting his sexual desire, which I hadn’t clearly heard from him before and found very painful.I feel very confused and deeply sad, and I’m unsure how to move forward. I care about him deeply and thought we were building a long-term future together.

Sexless marriage, can I save it?

replies: 11

Hi all,I'm new to forums, so please be patient if I mess up the etiquette or formatting etc.I find myself in a situation within my marriage that I could never have imagined even 5yrs ago. We have been married for 34 yrs (myself M 65yo, her 61 yo)& we... View more

Hi all,I'm new to forums, so please be patient if I mess up the etiquette or formatting etc.I find myself in a situation within my marriage that I could never have imagined even 5yrs ago. We have been married for 34 yrs (myself M 65yo, her 61 yo)& we had always enjoyed an intimate & sexually satisfying relationship.Around 5yrs ago everything came to a dead stop, no intimacy & no sex despite frequent attempts on my part & constant rejections. I was aware that menopause symptoms had been fairly noticeable so I tried to be patient & supportive hoping things would return to some sort of normal & switched focus to seeking intimacy rather than physical sex, but I found that even an embrace or touch of any kind (not sexual) caused her to recoil rather than reciprocate. We last had physical sex 3 yrs ago when I reminded her it had been 2 yrs since our previous tryst. She laughed at me at the time & I was genuinely hurt by that. Several weeks later she seduced me totally unexpectedly, but it was obvious to both of us it was done as a guilt trip more than anything.Now a further 3 yrs down the track I find myself becoming bitter & angry at her dismissive attitude. Around 9 months ago she had a coughing fit that unfortunately resulted in a prolapsed bladder which she is waiting to have surgery on (hopefully soon). I suggested maybe we could engage in some mutual non-penetrative activity but she blankly refused. This medical condition has now become the excuse she needs to justify her position, even though the rot had set in 5 yrs earlier.I'm sorry for the long winded post but I'm at my wits end. I'm even considering visiting a sex worker or finding a casual hookup, but I know this is only postponing the problem & I still love my wife despite all this & don't want a divorce although that is starting to look like the only final resolution.Hoping someone on here might have some similar experience & clear headed advice as my head is all over the place right now. Thanks for listening.Sad:-(

Father dies and feeling nothing (cold as ice)

replies: 4

This is the first time I have posted in 8 years and I'm in a much better place than I was back then through lots of hard work and life changes such as surrounding yourself with the right people no matter how small that circle is and yes it generally ... View more

This is the first time I have posted in 8 years and I'm in a much better place than I was back then through lots of hard work and life changes such as surrounding yourself with the right people no matter how small that circle is and yes it generally gets smaller as we get older. I feel like posting again and getting a few thoughts off my chest. To anyone reading this to you can overcome anything with the righty support around you, doing positive things and trying to be a good person. I just found out a few weeks ago my father had passed away. we hadn't spoken in about 15 years anyway so he wasn't a part of my life anyway. when I got told I was shocked but felt no emotion whatsoever. Does that make me a bad person or cold hearted? I don't have hate for any of my family except my sister she is the only one I speak to and love out of everyone and I'm a 41 year old man now with my own life. I'm not looking for sympathy as we all have our own stories and experiences but since I left home when I was 16 I have struggled immensely mentally. More so it really started to hit me when I was 23 as the seeds of depression and anxiety had been planted when I was young and what myself and other 2 siblings experienced growing up. I guess through my experiences it has made me cold hearted in regards to if someone is negative or toxic family or not they will not be in my life. I will not continue to be hurt physically or mentally by anyone especially as I have my own life now. The only question I have really is I don't understand how someone can have 3 kids out there and even as they face death feel no remorse or empathy or want to make direct contact on the way out. My phone number hadn't changed from when he told me 15 years ago I'm busy call you next week same old spiel from the man who helped bring me into this world. Just showed me he was a coward whilst living and before exiting this world. He was married to a controlling and evil scientologist who may or may not have told him to forget his 3 kids existed. You know there is a problem if all 3 kids move out before they are 16 the home obviously isn't a happy place. This grinds my gears more so because my partner and I now who is the best thing that's ever happened to me are trying to have just one child through ivf as we both have our own health issues and we have failed 3 times already. we would be amazing parents and would love that child through any circumstance which is what or my siblings never received. That frustrates me if I'm being honest and all I want to know is why you never wanted to know about your 3 kids? Cowardly act from the ultimate coward even at the end. I am very empathetic I actually cry in movies that have family situations or close loving relationships or just emotional moments just ask my partner every time I'm gone haha the waterworks are on. But with people who I feel nothing for I or who have hurt me i can go the opposite so I hope that is a normal feeling. Sometimes I feel darker thoughts towards people who have harmed me but I am much better at controlling those these days through the immense counselling and medication and support from my now partner. i guess our experiences as children make us into who we are as adults good and bad and i still hear the voices in my head and picture things that happened like it was yesterday but you get better at controlling and accepting them in time. I hope all the parents reading this understand what you do today will impact on your kids for the rest of their lives so be careful what you say and do and how you act because time doesn't erase just allows people to potentially control better.

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Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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