Support
Support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a conversation

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a conversation

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a conversation

Rossco Worried about our marriage
  • replies: 4

My wife and I have been married since September 29th 2007 (it was afl grand final day) and had been together for a year and a bit prior. I left a good job in Tasmania to be with her and her family on the Gold coast in early 2007 as she wasn't prepare... View more

My wife and I have been married since September 29th 2007 (it was afl grand final day) and had been together for a year and a bit prior. I left a good job in Tasmania to be with her and her family on the Gold coast in early 2007 as she wasn't prepared to relocate and at the time her family wouldn't have liked that either. Things were amazing then in 2009 my dad passed away and my wife was struggling with finding the right job so we decided to move back to Tasmania. My wife having no family here became very independent and soon secured full time employment. Things were still amazing we purchased our first home in 2012. Something wasn't right we had no children in our life yet. We tried unsuccessfully deciding not to do ivf. 2016 we sold our villa and moved into a house we had custom built for us. It was amazing establishing gardens and doing projects as a couple. But shortly after my wife's grand father passed away and I found my wife depressed and crying wanting her family. So we sold up moved back to Queensland after a few months we purchased a business a mobile coffee van and the plan was to work it together most days. Unfortunately we were struggling with the Queensland heat while working outdoors on the coffee van so we decided to pack up after 12 months and move back to Hobart with the business. It went really well at first then covid hit and we restructured a bit but still going strong until 2022 when cost of living was starting to become a issue for our customer base. I returned to a full time job while my wife ran the business most days. It was OK but we started finding that we were disconnecting from each other she then secured more hours in a part time job and was losing interest in the business. After some equipment issues we decided to close down the business but I feel my wife and I have become really disconnected since. Fast forward to the present time my wife became very close friends with a female workmate. When I met this lady I found she wasn't interested in knowing me and started to feel she wasn't the right company for my wife as she was separated and had some family issues. But my wife formed a bond with her like family calling her a cousin and spoke like they were family and chatted more than my wife's own family (often 2 times a day). My wife asks me can I take $50 out and give to her. I was shocked and said I don't feel comfortable with this as I knew the friend was a drinker and smoker. It was at that point my wife says I've been supporting her with gift cards I get from doing surveys (I thought that's OK if my wife wants to). My wife has a big caring heart but can be easily lead. So I said no to the $50 and later that day I get a message I love you I've taken $50 out for her I love you. I was stressed upset and called my mother in law who had met this lady on the phone and had bad vibes. We talked and i went for a big walk to calm down and collect my thoughts. I then decided to send my wife's friend a message just saying that I wasn't comfortable with the so called loan and advised her there are services out there if she needs assistance. I was told by the friend to butt out and I had no idea what she was going thru and never talk or message her again. This has lead to amosity between my wife and I as she has ended the friendship but has gone into a state of silence most days. We started talking about moving back to Queensland so my wife will have family. Some days she's supports the idea then next day not interested at all. Please help, my wife is going to Queensland for a week to be with family so hope they can help because I'm lost and worried what our next step will be We are looking into marriage counselling but I'm unsure if my wife will be open to that. Apologies for thevlong drawn out post just needed to reach out.

FindingMeAgain I need a starting point
  • replies: 3

I think I am in an abusive relationship. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 7 years. I am beginning to realise that over the years she has been slowly isolating me. I have no old friends, the friends I have are mutual ... View more

I think I am in an abusive relationship. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 7 years. I am beginning to realise that over the years she has been slowly isolating me. I have no old friends, the friends I have are mutual friends with her. She has a problem with anyone who I get close to. She often says it’s not that she doesn’t trust me, she doesn’t trust them. My colleagues (my only friends) are concerned for me and have made comments that I am not a door mat and that she is controlling. She tracks my location and often goes through my phone, she listens to conversations (even work ones) and asks me questions afterwards. I feel like I’m insane even feeling like this, don’t know what next or how to even fix it. I feel like I have shrunk myself as a human and lost who I truely am. There are financial issues as well - I am the primary income earner and she refuses to work yet will try and control my career progression however whenever I try to do anything for myself she guilt trips me. Our home life on the outside seems happy and it makes me feel like I’m insane for even feeling this way

Matteroftime My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me
  • replies: 1

hi everybody, as the titles says yeah this just happened like less than an hour ago. i poured my heart out for this girl i love her. she cant date till shes 24 and shes currently 21, i am so breakbroken right now anyone who wants to talk or has been ... View more

hi everybody, as the titles says yeah this just happened like less than an hour ago. i poured my heart out for this girl i love her. she cant date till shes 24 and shes currently 21, i am so breakbroken right now anyone who wants to talk or has been in a similar situation please reach out i need someone

I_need_a_name I don’t like being a parent
  • replies: 30

I feel sick saying this because I love my children dearly, but I absolutely hate life with kids. Nothing can prepare you for the relentlessness of parenthood and how much of yourself you lose in the process. Everyone says it’s hard but you don’t trul... View more

I feel sick saying this because I love my children dearly, but I absolutely hate life with kids. Nothing can prepare you for the relentlessness of parenthood and how much of yourself you lose in the process. Everyone says it’s hard but you don’t truly understand what that means until you’re in the thick of it and once you’re there, I feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. If I disliked anything else in my life - where I lived, my job, my husband, I could leave, change careers, do something different, but you can’t take back having kids and yet it’s the one decision that I really wish I’d had more background info on before I took the plunge. I have a 5yr old and a 1yr old, they’re so very loved and clever, and funny and wonderful, they’re great kids and I’m a great Mum (mostly), but I grieve all the time for my lost life, all the freedoms I had and all the TIME I no longer have. I used to have so much choice in my day - I could spend my day sleeping, exercising, crafting, eating, listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks, binge watching tv or movies, relaxing, renovating our house, organising, literally anything I could imagine or think of I could do. All I do now is work, cook, clean and parent, there isn’t time for anything else. If I do get any free time, it’s post 8pm when the kids go to bed and I’m too tired from the day to do much more than sit in front of the TV and scroll on my phone. It’s such a crappy life. The kids needs are never ending, someone’s always in my space and requiring my attention, even if they just want to play, I feel like everything’s draining. I don’t want to play, or cook, or clean or do family admin etc., every task that fills my day now is not one that I would choose, all of them are required to keep the family running and someone has to do them, so I do, my husband is really helpful and we share the load pretty evenly but even so, we still both feel permanently burnt out. I can organise some extra time away from the kids etc. and I have done; feels great while I have that time but it’s always only a cpl hours, or a day max. and the second I have to go back to reality I hate my life again. I long for my pre-child life and all the wonderful things I could do with a day, presently i probably get about 10-30mins of each day to choose something for me and it’s not enough, I didn’t know how hard this was going to be and now I’m here and I don’t like it and I feel stuck. What can I do?

dontseethepoint angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup
  • replies: 1

i was broken up with about three weeks ago , and i have really been struggling since then. i was mentally ill before that, but now it is much worse. i am having intense, bipolar feelings about her. when i think about my ex, i feel sad, dismal, low, v... View more

i was broken up with about three weeks ago , and i have really been struggling since then. i was mentally ill before that, but now it is much worse. i am having intense, bipolar feelings about her. when i think about my ex, i feel sad, dismal, low, very very depressed. when i see her, i feel so angry i could explode. when i picture her in my mind, i feel love and i miss her. I'm so tired of thinking about her all the time. i wish i could erase my memories of her. I'd be better off that way. i don't want to not have her in my life. she's a really good person. but these feelings i've been having are so intense, and i don't know if they'll ever go away. the thought of never speaking to her again is terrifying- but why do i feel that way when i'm so uncontrollably angry at her? i don't know what to do, i feel pretty hopeless

Aleksis Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in my relationship
  • replies: 1

I feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed lately.I’m in a relationship where another girl developed feelings for my partner, and even though he says he chose me, the situation has been going on for months and it deeply affected my sense of safety ... View more

I feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed lately.I’m in a relationship where another girl developed feelings for my partner, and even though he says he chose me, the situation has been going on for months and it deeply affected my sense of safety and trust.I feel constantly anxious and triggered whenever I see her name or hear about her. It got to the point where I can’t calm my thoughts down and I feel like I’m emotionally breaking apart inside.I know I’ve become reactive and emotional, but I also feel hurt because my intuition about the situation turned out to be real. I’m struggling with jealousy, fear of abandonment, anxiety and feeling like I’m “not enough”.At the same time, I still love him and I don’t want to destroy the relationship. I just don’t know how to stop feeling this constant panic and emotional pain.I think I need help learning how to calm my mind and feel safe in myself again.I also think an important part of this is that I never fully healed emotionally after being betrayed before in this relationship.I forgave him because I truly love him and wanted us to move forward, but I think a part of me still stayed scared and emotionally unsafe inside.Now this situation with another girl having feelings for him is bringing all of those old fears and wounds back to the surface again.It makes everything feel more intense, and sometimes I feel like I’m constantly waiting to get hurt again even when I don’t want to think that way.What also makes it harder is that she is still constantly around him and often takes his emotional attention even during the time that is supposed to be ours together.I understand that she is struggling and I truly don’t want to be cruel or heartless, but emotionally it has become extremely overwhelming for me.I don’t want to become controlling or toxic. I just feel emotionally exhausted from constantly feeling anxious, triggered and emotionally unsafe in my own relationship.

Guest_09942126 The Loop
  • replies: 1

i have found myself anxiously attached to a man i work with. I tried to not pay attention at first but so many times i would catch him staring at me and when caught he would not look away and stare directly into my eyes even across the room and he wo... View more

i have found myself anxiously attached to a man i work with. I tried to not pay attention at first but so many times i would catch him staring at me and when caught he would not look away and stare directly into my eyes even across the room and he would just folllow me with his eyes and not look away. I would be doing anything and no matter what he would be looking at me. I have been working at this same place for 2 years almost and it has died down quite a bit but it has caused me to have feelings for him and i panic when i cant see him but he has become very avoident and put up so many boundaries now. I just dont know how to detach, he has gotten in my head and ive tried everything and i also had another job lined up but didnt take it because i didnt have clarity and i felt tied emotionally. It has been a horrible loop.

dontseethepoint Feeling like there's no point after recent breakup
  • replies: 2

I am 18F and i have BPD/BPD traits. about 3 weeks ago i was broken up with by my girlfriend of 8 months because she could not deal with my mental health problems. I don't blame her for that. I was very much in love with her, and i still am, even thou... View more

I am 18F and i have BPD/BPD traits. about 3 weeks ago i was broken up with by my girlfriend of 8 months because she could not deal with my mental health problems. I don't blame her for that. I was very much in love with her, and i still am, even though i feel like i hate her a lot of the time. Since the breakup, I don't ever feel good, i am in a constant low mood and it gets especially bad when I'm by myself. I am afraid that i will never get better, that I will always think of her and miss her, that nobody as good as her will ever love me. The way i feel is horrible and dreadful and so painfully intense that I cannot imagine going on like this. I don't want to kill myself, but i feel as though I'm being backed into a corner here- like I have no choice. I need somebody or something to make me feel better. It's all too much. I've been put on two medications but i've not noticed any improvements in my mood yet. I've only been on the one for a few weeks though. I want to be better.

Guest_44200220 Stepkids
  • replies: 2

My husband has children by his previous marriage that range from 56 - 50 years old. I have learnt to deal with them not having much interest in me or my family, one in particular who loves to show me photos of my husband with her deceased mother. I h... View more

My husband has children by his previous marriage that range from 56 - 50 years old. I have learnt to deal with them not having much interest in me or my family, one in particular who loves to show me photos of my husband with her deceased mother. I have 3 children of my own. My 40 yo son does not like my husband and does not acknowledge him. My husband turns away whenever he approaches. It stems from a family event where my husband criticised my children’s behaviour. He apologised to one child but not to my son and he says he never will. It makes it so difficult for me. I feel like I can’t invite him to where we live which is owned by my husband. I tell my husband to suck it up like I have with his family and keep trying. But my son ignores him too

Jasper Feeling stuck
  • replies: 1

Last year, something happened between myself and a friend (whom I had feelings for) that led me to believe they felt the same. It was after three weeks of this that I found it basically meant nothing to them. I spent eight months blaming myself, sayi... View more

Last year, something happened between myself and a friend (whom I had feelings for) that led me to believe they felt the same. It was after three weeks of this that I found it basically meant nothing to them. I spent eight months blaming myself, saying I shouldn’t have read into things or gotten my hopes up, but I’ve realised that it’s not completely my fault. They shouldn’t have switched up like that after two years of things being normal, and they should’ve told me how they felt sooner without needing me to prompt them. I’ve just been so angry since. As guilty as it makes me feel, I think I need to cut ties with them. I know the mature thing to do would be to have a conversation about it, but the thought of that is sickening. I just can’t. Basically, I need an honest opinion of if it’s really shitty of me to cut ties.

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright � 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map