Relationship and family issues

Issues

replies: 1

Hi, I'm new here and still trying to find out how to work this website. I just wanted to talk about some issues in my family. Recently, CPS came to visit my family because of some large problems, which I won't go into since I get emotional thinking a... View more

Hi, I'm new here and still trying to find out how to work this website. I just wanted to talk about some issues in my family. Recently, CPS came to visit my family because of some large problems, which I won't go into since I get emotional thinking about it. I was the one who reported my parents for those problems, and our relationship has since been strained and tense. I've gotten into a couple of fights with my dad. I feel like he doesn't try to understand my feelings or my side of the story. Today, I just had a fight with my dad because of my volleyball comp tomorrow. I have an early game, so I tried to ask my dad if my brother could drive me since he already has his P license. I also told him that my games were going to run late to 8:20 pm. But he just told me to catch the train and bus. Mind you, that would take at least two hours to get to the venue and possible three hours to get all the way back home if I caught public transport. So, I obviously told him that it was more convenient for my brother to drive me, but he just wouldn't listen. I couldn't ask any of my teammates because they hate me. So, I'm left to take public transport tomorrow all alone to and from the venue.

Need Advice

replies: 2

I'm 43, my mother is 64 who was involved in a serious car accident 23 years ago. She was seriously injured and was in rehabilitation for 3 months. Fast forward to now, over the years her mental health and capacity has been declining, she blames me fo... View more

I'm 43, my mother is 64 who was involved in a serious car accident 23 years ago. She was seriously injured and was in rehabilitation for 3 months. Fast forward to now, over the years her mental health and capacity has been declining, she blames me for everything, critiques me for everything and anything, it's never her fault. I have no privacy, as I live with her and I'm her carer. She treats me like I'm her live in maid despite me working full time. She is capable to doing little things like doing her dishes, taking out rubbish, cleaning a little but leaves dishes in the sink to the point of piling up, she won't wipe down benches if she spills something or makes a mess, if she has to clean something she throws a tantrum. She leaves rubbish around or at the front door but never takes it to the outside bin. She literally does not do anything anymore except feeds the cats, goes to bed and smokes but calls me useless and lazy or gives me excuses and gets abusive and threatening when challenged. Shes never been this bad but I've seen the change over the years and it's getting much worse. I get blamed for the house looking like a pigsty and blames me for her being too embarrassed to have people over. When I confronted her one day, I cleaned the dishes, she came down, left dishes in the sink and walked away, I asked her why do you leave dishes in the sink and not wash them when she has seen I've just cleaned them all, her reply, so what. She never asks me how my day is, never asks how I am, never is compassionate when I'm sick and always makes it about her. If I get ready to go meet up with a friend for a coffee, she starts an argument that I'm too lazy to clean the house but that I go out with my friend, to put into context, I probably meet up with friends once or twice a month for a few hours. Now I've given up trying to keep friendships and relationships because it's nothing than arguments with her. I'm now to the point I have no friends and I haven't dated in 5 years. I have no family as they are overseas and I haven't seen my father in over 30 years. If I have to go out she wants to know where I'm always going, sometimes I just want to go for a walk but she makes it difficult for me. If I'm not home at a certain hour she will call me to see where I am, if I'm out for longer, she will call me. I finish work but I don't go home for a while, I go have a coffee or something to eat and get home rather late, she gets angry because I'm not there to clean up. When I was 34, I was at a work Christmas party, she knew where I was, it was 1.30am, she called my mobile screaming at me, saying do you know what time it is. I was in a maxi cab with my boss and co workers going home, everyone in the cab could hear her on the phone yelling, I was embarrassed and humiliated. I received my certificate from university, she opened my mail called me to congratulate me, that should have been me opening it, she ruined that for me. I really need advice on what to do.

Resentment and shame in a sexless relationship in my 20s

replies: 2

My partner and I have been together nearly 2 years now. I’m in my early 20s and he is in his late 20s. At the beginning of the relationship we faced challenges with him not being able to stay erect during sex which caused some self esteem issues for ... View more

My partner and I have been together nearly 2 years now. I’m in my early 20s and he is in his late 20s. At the beginning of the relationship we faced challenges with him not being able to stay erect during sex which caused some self esteem issues for me and also for him I imagine. However then we started a great sex life and would have sex multiple times a day every day. However in the last 6 months or so we have stopped having sex and basically only have sex once a month and it’s usually just in the morning and doesn’t feel very intimate but rather something to be done. I’m struggling here because to me sex is very important and honestly a big desire of mine, it’s more than just physical for me. The thing is it’s just stopped and nothing else has been used to replace the intimacy felt during sex. He assures me he is sexually attracted to me but has also said that he never has experienced this with anyone before and he is usually the type of partner to be all over his partner, obviously this made me feel like shit. I know this is not necessarily important but he also has a very high number of people he has slept with which makes me feel like there is something exceptionally wrong with me. Weve had multiple conversations about it and every time it’s the same thing. He is working lots and has visa issues as well so it is an extremely stressful time for us both however i think sex for me is a way to feel closer and overcome that stress where as for him it’s not like that which is absolutely okay except im not sure how to overcome the feelings of resentment and shame. I feel like my needs aren’t being met but i don’t know where to go from here trying to balance my needs and his needs. Honestly im struggling to also hold space to be there for him because it feels like im sacrificing something important to me and he is just fine with that and i feel gross for feeling like this but i dont know what to do.

Emotional support

replies: 2

Does anyone else's husband/wife not really understand or believe depression/anxiety. I feel alone in this household. Trying to keep on top of it for myself, yet trying to educate someone who doesn't seem to want to understand. It can feel like a lone... View more

Does anyone else's husband/wife not really understand or believe depression/anxiety. I feel alone in this household. Trying to keep on top of it for myself, yet trying to educate someone who doesn't seem to want to understand. It can feel like a lonely journey.

Breakup

replies: 2

Me and my partner broke up about a month ago due to me hurting him ( not abuse ) and him feeling overwhelmed and couldn't continue the relationship. We ended mutually on goodish terms, I think the hardest part is that he says he still loves me and ca... View more

Me and my partner broke up about a month ago due to me hurting him ( not abuse ) and him feeling overwhelmed and couldn't continue the relationship. We ended mutually on goodish terms, I think the hardest part is that he says he still loves me and cares about me he's just not in the right headspace to be in a relationship. I ended up blocking him on Instagram and Facebook but still have his number. I apologised sincerely and said I am getting therapy to help my insecurities that hurt him in the first place. I can't get over the fact I didn't even realise how bad I was actually hurting him, I feel so guilty. I just want to believe there's another chance with us

Worried about our marriage

replies: 4

My wife and I have been married since September 29th 2007 (it was afl grand final day) and had been together for a year and a bit prior. I left a good job in Tasmania to be with her and her family on the Gold coast in early 2007 as she wasn't prepare... View more

My wife and I have been married since September 29th 2007 (it was afl grand final day) and had been together for a year and a bit prior. I left a good job in Tasmania to be with her and her family on the Gold coast in early 2007 as she wasn't prepared to relocate and at the time her family wouldn't have liked that either. Things were amazing then in 2009 my dad passed away and my wife was struggling with finding the right job so we decided to move back to Tasmania. My wife having no family here became very independent and soon secured full time employment. Things were still amazing we purchased our first home in 2012. Something wasn't right we had no children in our life yet. We tried unsuccessfully deciding not to do ivf. 2016 we sold our villa and moved into a house we had custom built for us. It was amazing establishing gardens and doing projects as a couple. But shortly after my wife's grand father passed away and I found my wife depressed and crying wanting her family. So we sold up moved back to Queensland after a few months we purchased a business a mobile coffee van and the plan was to work it together most days. Unfortunately we were struggling with the Queensland heat while working outdoors on the coffee van so we decided to pack up after 12 months and move back to Hobart with the business. It went really well at first then covid hit and we restructured a bit but still going strong until 2022 when cost of living was starting to become a issue for our customer base. I returned to a full time job while my wife ran the business most days. It was OK but we started finding that we were disconnecting from each other she then secured more hours in a part time job and was losing interest in the business. After some equipment issues we decided to close down the business but I feel my wife and I have become really disconnected since. Fast forward to the present time my wife became very close friends with a female workmate. When I met this lady I found she wasn't interested in knowing me and started to feel she wasn't the right company for my wife as she was separated and had some family issues. But my wife formed a bond with her like family calling her a cousin and spoke like they were family and chatted more than my wife's own family (often 2 times a day). My wife asks me can I take $50 out and give to her. I was shocked and said I don't feel comfortable with this as I knew the friend was a drinker and smoker. It was at that point my wife says I've been supporting her with gift cards I get from doing surveys (I thought that's OK if my wife wants to). My wife has a big caring heart but can be easily lead. So I said no to the $50 and later that day I get a message I love you I've taken $50 out for her I love you. I was stressed upset and called my mother in law who had met this lady on the phone and had bad vibes. We talked and i went for a big walk to calm down and collect my thoughts. I then decided to send my wife's friend a message just saying that I wasn't comfortable with the so called loan and advised her there are services out there if she needs assistance. I was told by the friend to butt out and I had no idea what she was going thru and never talk or message her again. This has lead to amosity between my wife and I as she has ended the friendship but has gone into a state of silence most days. We started talking about moving back to Queensland so my wife will have family. Some days she's supports the idea then next day not interested at all. Please help, my wife is going to Queensland for a week to be with family so hope they can help because I'm lost and worried what our next step will be We are looking into marriage counselling but I'm unsure if my wife will be open to that. Apologies for thevlong drawn out post just needed to reach out.

I need a starting point

replies: 3

I think I am in an abusive relationship. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 7 years. I am beginning to realise that over the years she has been slowly isolating me. I have no old friends, the friends I have are mutual ... View more

I think I am in an abusive relationship. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 7 years. I am beginning to realise that over the years she has been slowly isolating me. I have no old friends, the friends I have are mutual friends with her. She has a problem with anyone who I get close to. She often says it’s not that she doesn’t trust me, she doesn’t trust them. My colleagues (my only friends) are concerned for me and have made comments that I am not a door mat and that she is controlling. She tracks my location and often goes through my phone, she listens to conversations (even work ones) and asks me questions afterwards. I feel like I’m insane even feeling like this, don’t know what next or how to even fix it. I feel like I have shrunk myself as a human and lost who I truely am. There are financial issues as well - I am the primary income earner and she refuses to work yet will try and control my career progression however whenever I try to do anything for myself she guilt trips me. Our home life on the outside seems happy and it makes me feel like I’m insane for even feeling this way

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me

replies: 1

hi everybody, as the titles says yeah this just happened like less than an hour ago. i poured my heart out for this girl i love her. she cant date till shes 24 and shes currently 21, i am so breakbroken right now anyone who wants to talk or has been ... View more

hi everybody, as the titles says yeah this just happened like less than an hour ago. i poured my heart out for this girl i love her. she cant date till shes 24 and shes currently 21, i am so breakbroken right now anyone who wants to talk or has been in a similar situation please reach out i need someone

I don’t like being a parent

replies: 30

I feel sick saying this because I love my children dearly, but I absolutely hate life with kids. Nothing can prepare you for the relentlessness of parenthood and how much of yourself you lose in the process. Everyone says it’s hard but you don’t trul... View more

I feel sick saying this because I love my children dearly, but I absolutely hate life with kids. Nothing can prepare you for the relentlessness of parenthood and how much of yourself you lose in the process. Everyone says it’s hard but you don’t truly understand what that means until you’re in the thick of it and once you’re there, I feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. If I disliked anything else in my life - where I lived, my job, my husband, I could leave, change careers, do something different, but you can’t take back having kids and yet it’s the one decision that I really wish I’d had more background info on before I took the plunge. I have a 5yr old and a 1yr old, they’re so very loved and clever, and funny and wonderful, they’re great kids and I’m a great Mum (mostly), but I grieve all the time for my lost life, all the freedoms I had and all the TIME I no longer have. I used to have so much choice in my day - I could spend my day sleeping, exercising, crafting, eating, listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks, binge watching tv or movies, relaxing, renovating our house, organising, literally anything I could imagine or think of I could do. All I do now is work, cook, clean and parent, there isn’t time for anything else. If I do get any free time, it’s post 8pm when the kids go to bed and I’m too tired from the day to do much more than sit in front of the TV and scroll on my phone. It’s such a crappy life. The kids needs are never ending, someone’s always in my space and requiring my attention, even if they just want to play, I feel like everything’s draining. I don’t want to play, or cook, or clean or do family admin etc., every task that fills my day now is not one that I would choose, all of them are required to keep the family running and someone has to do them, so I do, my husband is really helpful and we share the load pretty evenly but even so, we still both feel permanently burnt out. I can organise some extra time away from the kids etc. and I have done; feels great while I have that time but it’s always only a cpl hours, or a day max. and the second I have to go back to reality I hate my life again. I long for my pre-child life and all the wonderful things I could do with a day, presently i probably get about 10-30mins of each day to choose something for me and it’s not enough, I didn’t know how hard this was going to be and now I’m here and I don’t like it and I feel stuck. What can I do?

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup

replies: 1

i was broken up with about three weeks ago , and i have really been struggling since then. i was mentally ill before that, but now it is much worse. i am having intense, bipolar feelings about her. when i think about my ex, i feel sad, dismal, low, v... View more

i was broken up with about three weeks ago , and i have really been struggling since then. i was mentally ill before that, but now it is much worse. i am having intense, bipolar feelings about her. when i think about my ex, i feel sad, dismal, low, very very depressed. when i see her, i feel so angry i could explode. when i picture her in my mind, i feel love and i miss her. I'm so tired of thinking about her all the time. i wish i could erase my memories of her. I'd be better off that way. i don't want to not have her in my life. she's a really good person. but these feelings i've been having are so intense, and i don't know if they'll ever go away. the thought of never speaking to her again is terrifying- but why do i feel that way when i'm so uncontrollably angry at her? i don't know what to do, i feel pretty hopeless

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

All discussions

Issues

replies: 1

Need Advice

replies: 2

Resentment and shame in a sexless relationship in my 20s

replies: 2

Emotional support

replies: 2

Breakup

replies: 2

Worried about our marriage

replies: 4

I need a starting point

replies: 3

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me

replies: 1

I don’t like being a parent

replies: 30

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup

replies: 1

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Issues replies: 1

Need Advice replies: 2

Resentment and shame in a sexless relationship in my 20s replies: 2

Emotional support replies: 2

Breakup replies: 2

Worried about our marriage replies: 4

I need a starting point replies: 3

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me replies: 1

I don’t like being a parent replies: 30

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup replies: 1

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Issues

replies: 1

Need Advice

replies: 2

Resentment and shame in a sexless relationship in my 20s

replies: 2

Emotional support

replies: 2

Breakup

replies: 2

Worried about our marriage

replies: 4

I need a starting point

replies: 3

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me

replies: 1

I don’t like being a parent

replies: 30

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup

replies: 1