Hello,
Some background, my SO and I have been together for almost 2 years but we were friends long before this. I have (high functioning) autism and depression, she has generalised anxiety disorder, but we both knew about and accepted it before we got together. For many reasons we don't live together but we will move in and get married eventually. For both of us it is our first serious relationship.
I have a stressful and unstimulating 9-5 office job which I am trying to quit, and my SO works in hospitality, normally the 6-12 shift. As well as this her passion is running. She spends hours and hours training, and often volunteers as a running/fitness coach for friends, family, members of her running group's kids....etc etc. Running is her passion but before any marathon or race of any kind, she goes into this anxiety where she doesn't talk to me about it. Sometimes it lasts for weeks leading up to it, but she never shares any of it with me, she just sort of disconnects from me and all I can do is watch her suffer in silence and wait for it to end.
A marathon is coming up and she's back at the silent anxiety again. My company has an awful management team and my work is getting more and more stressful, which has pushed my normally mild depression into overdrive. I'm struggling to hold on while I look for new work, but my girlfriend who's my rock is so distant right now. I grew up well into my 20s with a totally controlling and overbearing mother and my natural instinct is to push people away the moment I feel rejected/neglected. I love my girlfriend so much but I can't handle this at the moment. Has anyone else been through something similar?
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