Unhappy relationship, stressed, anxious. Need to talk.
Hi RR, welcome
It is a tough situation I know, having had four long term relationships 3 that have broken off. Also, in my first marriage there were 2 young girls to consider so I tried even harder to make it work.
Considering the children and the fact you both have mental illness I think it would be really a good effort to seek out relationship counseling before you did anything else. Don't you think?
With mental illness the mind can play tricks on you as you've eluded to.
Do you argue a lot or is it general dissatisfaction?
You can google these
Beyondblue topic relationship strife?- the peace pipe
In terms of your partners mental health I personally would not consider that as a reason to "not" leave. We cannot stop actions on the basis of how someone else will act. But we can take into consideration the effect ton the children and if you end up with main custody, he will lose his full time fatherhood and your children will no see as much of him. I'm merely suggesting why counseling is good because you can then move forward with whatever decision you make with reduced guilt.
Finally, sometimes with effort you can continue supporting each other emotionally like friends after separation. The children will one day thank you for it.
Good luck. Don't be afraid. You aren't to blame if you are unhappy but I think you both deserve to give counseling a chance. If he wont attend- go by yourself.