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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lost27 Smoking
  • replies: 3

When I first first met my bf he never smoked. 2 years later he is now. I want him to quit. Which he said for me he would because I am more important than smoking big in a year and a half once I'm fully back from school from the USA. Is a year and a h... View more

When I first first met my bf he never smoked. 2 years later he is now. I want him to quit. Which he said for me he would because I am more important than smoking big in a year and a half once I'm fully back from school from the USA. Is a year and a half giving him to much time or is that okay for him to stop?

J_123 I want to leave, but I'm unsure and afraid
  • replies: 6

This is a long one, so please bear with me. Ive been with my husband for 7 years but only married for 2 and I'm unhappy. For over a year now I've been struggling with the idea that we've grown apart and I can't see the future anymore, and I don't rea... View more

This is a long one, so please bear with me. Ive been with my husband for 7 years but only married for 2 and I'm unhappy. For over a year now I've been struggling with the idea that we've grown apart and I can't see the future anymore, and I don't really to. He held me back a lot from the things I wanted to do and triggered my anxiety often so I'd end up blaming myself for him not wanting to hang out and do things I wanted to do. He never wanted to do anything with me and I assumed it was my fault. At the start of this year I put up my walls because I assumed he didn't love me and started protecting myself, this unfortunately lead me to start to have feelings for one of my good friends. This has driven me even further away from my husband and has made me realise that I should not have married him, I should've broken up with him years ago, but I think I was codependant and afraid of being alone. I kept hoping and thinking "things will be better after we get married" but I was wrong. He isn't a bad person, but I feel like we have little in common and I find it very hard to talk to him. We will have stretches of silence that will last hours where I'll be throwing around for something to say and then will get 3 words in reply. Our interests and passions are no longer the same and I am terrified I'll fall pregnant because then I'll be stuck (we haven't been intimate in nearly 2 months anyway). If I weren't married, I'd break up with him. But divorce is such a big, scary thing and I do care for him, I just don't love him anymore. I know some people live through marriages like this, it's not like he's horrible to me, I'm just not happy. I'm scared I'm throwing away something so many people want because I'm unsettled, but that's the thing, I now realised I settled for this marriage, it was never truly right. We've always had big differences and I changed myself for him. I've tried googling this and lots of people have this problem 20+ years in and there are help articles about "challenge yourself to fall in love again". It shouldn't be so hard or a challenge after TWO years should it? I'm terrified of what it'll be like in 5 years. I have always felt like a marriage should be to your best friend, but I've learnt to appreciate my own company because of this marriage as I've never done more stuff alone. Im so scared for him, I'm scared he will fall into a depression and not be able to get out if I leave. I don't want to hurt him, but I know I already am.

skyblue85 is it time to let go?
  • replies: 13

ive been married for 3 wonderful years.my husband is a very lovely man but when he is with his friends atleast once a week,they will smoke weed,and at first its ok with me but then at the back of my mind,it can change him over time. And once he told ... View more

ive been married for 3 wonderful years.my husband is a very lovely man but when he is with his friends atleast once a week,they will smoke weed,and at first its ok with me but then at the back of my mind,it can change him over time. And once he told me,that I cannot ask him to quit because he wouldnt.his friends are his other family here in aus aside from me,so he told me not to take it away from him,but ofcourse i wouldnt.but for me,they can smoke cigarette or drink but no weeds,but he cannot do it for me..i dont no if this is normal or am i just controlling and selfish as what he says..i just want the “old him” the man i married 3 yrs ago..now we had a fight because of same reason,and he chose to smoke weed in 3 consecutive nights leaving me home alone and choosing to be with his friends smoking pot because he once told me,if im trying to stop him,he will do it more often.i just want us to spend time with each other and this affects our relationship as a couple..i dont want to have a weed addict husband please help.

Man with no name Husband, wife and money
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I don't have anyone to ask advice from so here I am. We have savings in the tens of thousands, two good cars, no debt other than home loan, my wife earns more than me. I am keen to buy either an old car or motorbike for around $10k. My wife f... View more

Hi all, I don't have anyone to ask advice from so here I am. We have savings in the tens of thousands, two good cars, no debt other than home loan, my wife earns more than me. I am keen to buy either an old car or motorbike for around $10k. My wife flatly says that I can't. She is more concerned about the ongoing costs than the purchase price. I have clinical depression, I can't just move past it, it eats me up. Why can she be the decider in the decision? Should it not bother me? Am i being childish for not just accepting a 'no'? Thanks,

manoody92 Relationship issues.
  • replies: 2

Hi again, hope you’re all well. I’m having husband issues again. Things were going really well there for a while, but now I feel like things are starting to fall back to as they were. I still feel like I’m on eggshells all day everyday trying to look... View more

Hi again, hope you’re all well. I’m having husband issues again. Things were going really well there for a while, but now I feel like things are starting to fall back to as they were. I still feel like I’m on eggshells all day everyday trying to look after my daughter and maintain the house but I never feel good enough and like my husband looks down on me. I try my best, but I’m still not coping mentally. I voiced my concerns to my husband last night, telling him how stressed I am. Trying to deal with our daughter refusing to eat at meal times and not wanting to cooperate at bed time. Tonight she started acting up again, and my husband just went to bed with no offer of help and left the kitchen mess for me to clean. When I confronted him about it, he just said that he has to work tomorrow...(like I don’t do anything). My daughter loves her daddy, but I’m starting to wonder if I should be putting up with this anymore...any advice? Similar stories?

Tj_tj What to do..
  • replies: 4

Hey all, appreciate the site and forum, sometimes it’s a lonely place out there despite being completely surrounded by amazing people, have been with my partner for over 10 years, we are amazing together, have an incredible life, in the last 12 month... View more

Hey all, appreciate the site and forum, sometimes it’s a lonely place out there despite being completely surrounded by amazing people, have been with my partner for over 10 years, we are amazing together, have an incredible life, in the last 12 months, she’s had an affair, I’ve found out / caught her on so many occasions, each time it’ ends in tears, apologies and we work on it over and over, it’s reallly taken a toll on me, self confidence, trust, general heatlh, But I just can’t seem to end it, I don’t know if that’s considered weak, or love, or what! When is enough enough?

ashley5 After the affair
  • replies: 2

Hi So a year ago my husband had a emotional affair, I knew he was texting a woman & had ask him to stop & he said he did but it turns out this was not the case. I confronted him & he broke up with me & we separated for 6 months, went to consulting be... View more

Hi So a year ago my husband had a emotional affair, I knew he was texting a woman & had ask him to stop & he said he did but it turns out this was not the case. I confronted him & he broke up with me & we separated for 6 months, went to consulting before deciding to make ago of it again. I have anxiety which on top of this means my brain has over analyze the hell out of the situation but my biggest issue right now is it’s a year on & I feel so insecure in our marriage like I can’t relax Incase i get crushed again. I feel like I’m losing my mind & im scared I’ll always feel this way. But I really want to make our marriage work. Will it ever get easier? My husband knows I feel this way & he’s starting to feel like I’ll never move pass this.

cantcope had a affair
  • replies: 20

hi, I have been married for 22 yrs, 2 wonderful kids, 22 and 17,. when I met my wife she was only 19, I was 26,. marriage has been good but over the last 7 or 8 years things have gotten stale, while I still have great affection for her I have found m... View more

hi, I have been married for 22 yrs, 2 wonderful kids, 22 and 17,. when I met my wife she was only 19, I was 26,. marriage has been good but over the last 7 or 8 years things have gotten stale, while I still have great affection for her I have found myself wanting,. I spend most of my time working and at night alone while shes doing her own stuff,, our sex life is non existent,. to the point im not interested anymore..5 yrs ago I meet the most wonderful beautiful women., I fell for right away, after a very short time she called it off as she had a partner,. it hurt me very much , but I got over it .went back to my normall life,. then 2 months ago, after 5 long years with no contact she emailed me again, she had broken up with her partner 6 months before and wanted to see me. I thought about it long and hard but couldn't resist her,. we phone each other several times a day and meet up in the city quite a few times., she was and is still trying to get over her relationship and is always talking about it,i told her I was there for her to vent etc.then she invited me to her apartment, I was nervous and scared but I went,.we sleept together,.then all within 3 days she told me she didn't want to see me anymore as her head isnt in the right space and its bad timing on her part. I have fallen for her and love her but she dosnt want me to contact her,. now I am not in a good place,. I feel very loney, empty feeling, always breaking up crying while trying to hide it from my wife,. im not happy and not in a good head space,. I think a lot why bother going on,. .....lost all interest in life. no appetite, no interest in my home life., I just don't know how long I can take this,. im so sad,. sorry for this and what has happened,. I don't know if I want to be here anymore,.

Sammiipants Tough situation, emotional abuse.. Don't know what to do!
  • replies: 3

Hi All, So for the past almost 12 months I have been with a man who I thought was perfect. We fell for each other quite quickly and soon after, fell pregnant. Throughout pregnancy he was so supportive in regards to anything to do with the baby. A few... View more

Hi All, So for the past almost 12 months I have been with a man who I thought was perfect. We fell for each other quite quickly and soon after, fell pregnant. Throughout pregnancy he was so supportive in regards to anything to do with the baby. A few issues did arise in other areas of our relationship though, such as jealousy, he would get upset if I didn't call him 'babe', accused me of inviting my ex to our home while he was at work, would ignore me for hours or after a small argument would take off and be uncontactable for hours.. It was all so emotionally draining. I never ever did anything wrong by him or to intentionally upset him, unless I needed to address something of course. When we would argue it would turn into a massive game of he said, she said. He would constantly tell me "No, I didn't say that! Of course you don't remember, you always focus on other stuff instead of our relationship" Always made me question my recollection of events and conversations even though I was certain in what I remembered. These situations were few and far between so even though I saw them as red flags, we got through. When it was good, it was great. Towards the end of pregnancy, however, these situations started to occur more frequently. When our son was born he had some feeding complications. Was a very stressful time for us both. When he was 5 weeks old, we had a rough night. This resulted in an argument the following morning where I was called names, he told me he was over my moods, over our relationship and then he threatened to take our son. I called the police to stop him, long story short he has been living with his mother ever since. I have met up with him on average maybe once a week since then so he could see his son, mainly because we have a strict routine with feeding and expressing that I need to be at home for. I have another son from a previous relationship that I would rather was kept out of this negativity and I am on the other side of the country from any family so I have no support. I have appointments and general errands I need to run on a weekly basis. I'm exhausted. He has told me he wants to go to mediation. Legal aid won't get back to me. If I'm busy at a time when he wants to see his son then I'm "not letting him see his son". He told my neighbours I have Post Natal Depression - I don't, I was tested and came back clear! I swear he is trying to break me! I am doing the best job I can for my two children. I don't know what to do.

StressedMrs Have I broken my husband?
  • replies: 9

I feel i have broken my husband. In 2016 he found out I was having an online affair. I was talking to another man using fake pictures. I never physically cheated on him not that it makes what I did any less disgusting. We were going good and I slippe... View more

I feel i have broken my husband. In 2016 he found out I was having an online affair. I was talking to another man using fake pictures. I never physically cheated on him not that it makes what I did any less disgusting. We were going good and I slipped and starting talking to the same man again (i also again was pretending to be someone else). He once again found out and since that time he has been depressed, having anxiety attacks, raging out of control and most recently verbally abused his boss. He says he doesnt trust me on the phone (which I can understand) and constantly says he is alone in the world, worthless and not important to anyone. He has been to counsellors along with couple counselling and been medicated but it hasn't stopped his rage outbursts. My greatest fear is that he is only with me for the kids and that he isn't able to move past this and start healing together as a couple.