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Any experience with a narcissistic partner?

Br1sbaneg1rl
Community Member

Hi,

I feel like I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissistic and have been going through the cycle time and time again for 2 years now.

I’ve spent so much time trying to understand why he treats me like I’m nothing and ignores me as though I don’t exist sometimes. He has broken up with me numerous times and I would eventually accept it after a couple of days and every time he would do what he could to reel me back in. If I blocked his number from my mobile, he’d call my home phone and when I changed the number the emails would start. He broke up with me yet he would chase me and then it would be great some days but when it was bad, he made me feel as though I was worthless and it would be a cycle of this and it has been for 2 years.

I make excuses for him, even to myself.

From what I’ve read it sounds like he is a narcissistic and when I finally opened up to a couple of close friends, they suggested I speak to a councillor. I just don’t know what to do, I’m so frantic and he makes me question myself and doubt myself.

If I go to see someone and they confirm that the behaviour sounds narcissistic, is that even going to help me in anyway?

I’ve never known anyone to discard someone as though they’re garbage, why would I want to be with someone like that anyway. I think to myself, what’s wrong with me that I put up with this?!

I apologise, my post is all over the place.

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Such behavior isn't acceptable. It doesn't mean he is a narcissist, such a term is becoming more common in particular from the USA that we tend to copy. There is a lot more to a narcissist than how you have been treated.

Nevertheless you shouldn't have to tolerate this from him.

Firstly, attend a counselor- your GP can point you in the right direction.

Attend the police station to discuss the situation. Have notes and records if you have them. Start filling out a diary- seriously.

Even a visit from police to his home might sway him to stay away.

TonyWK

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Br1sbaneg1rl

Welcome to the forums....I echo TonyWK's post above re seeking the best assistance available at this time....Your GP.....Your doctor is the foundation of care where our well being is concerned.....

You have nothing to apologize for at all. You are a very strong person by reaching out the way you have

There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you Br1sbaneg1rl

The forums are a rock solid Safe and non judgemental place for you to post

my kind thoughts

Paul

Bee1998
Community Member

Hi ,

I know exactly what you’re going through. I was previously in a 2 year long relationship with a narcissist myself.

When you’re in the relationship and you love that person, it feels like it’s almost impossible to get out of the relationship , because you’re feelings take control over your mind.

The only way I got out of the relationship was because I told my brother about how the person I was with (the narcissist) was physically abusing me. This then caused alarm for my brother , who then helped me to get out of the relationship. He went and confronted the person at their house, and made his parents aware that their son was abusive. From there, we were not allowed to see each other , and were forced to block each other’s numbers.

At the time, I was really heart broken, and still loved the person, even though they were physically and emotionally abusing me. But I’m telling you, once you get past the hard part, which is the break up, you will feel so much better. You will finally be free, and not controlled by someone else’s messed up ‘rules.’

Please get out while you can. Being in that relationship nearly killed me. It got to the point where I was being so badly abused emotionally , that I nearly ended my life. That’s what narcissists do. They take over your brain and your life , and all of your decisions.

I hope this has helped in some way.

Please try to stay strong, and focus on finding someone who deserves you, and doesn’t make you feel unworthy of yourself, and manipulated all the time.

Sunshine_11
Community Member

Hi,

I have been in a similar situation also. He wasn't physically abusive however he made me feel negative about myself.

If any guy makes you feel bad about yourself, that's alarm bells.

You should get out of any relationship you are not happy with.