Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

LoveSeeker Experience with Relationship Break?
  • replies: 9

Hi there, my partner and I will need to have some sort of relationship break because he needs to focus on working through grief and loss from his marriage ending. He ended it but feels a lot of confusing emotions and he needs to work through the grie... View more

Hi there, my partner and I will need to have some sort of relationship break because he needs to focus on working through grief and loss from his marriage ending. He ended it but feels a lot of confusing emotions and he needs to work through the grief cycle and the feelings of loss and guilt. Since he needs to do that, he cannot really have me in the picture because I tend to be a distraction to him and he likes to avoid grieving anyway. We will see each other at work but we have decided not to see each other privately for a while and I travel a lot, so the contact will be limited. We care about each other very much, so this is hard for both of us. But if he does not work through his past, he will not be open to a full and clear future. I just hope that I will still be a part in it when he is done. I am after some advice on how to cope with the relationship break because I am having a really tough time. We said we could communicate, just not emotionally intimately because he needs a clear head to go through his bit. I am really scared about the outcome of this although I believe the way we are with each other and the strong connection we have are signs that we are on a great path together. I would like to understand how long it may take him to work through his pains and how I deal with mine due to the break. I am struggling to keep up a brave face at work and I am really scared that his challenges and the focus he needs to give them will lead to him forgetting me and hence not wanting to be with me anymore on the other side. I tell myself that people who go to a war zone for a while do not stop loving each other either but since he has not worked through his past, he has never told me that he loves me. Although I feel his actions have often suggested it. Does anyone have experience with relationship breaks (for good reasons, not following arguments and crises). We miss each other already and we have only just started. I am not sure how much contact would be counterproductive for his healing process. But at the same time, I don't know how little communication would be too little and hence risk the relationship to fall over because we do not talk to each other. Help, please.

Worried_Mum81 Need help in regards to my depressed husband please.
  • replies: 7

Hi, My husband and I have been having a lot of issues over the last two years. We now argue constantly. Mostly initiated by him. We had a huge fight last Tuesday and as it’s affecting the kids with all this fighting I asked him to leave within a week... View more

Hi, My husband and I have been having a lot of issues over the last two years. We now argue constantly. Mostly initiated by him. We had a huge fight last Tuesday and as it’s affecting the kids with all this fighting I asked him to leave within a week. He came home that night saying he had depression. I booked him the first available appointment at the GP. He has been on antidepressants now for 1 week and we have met with a marriage Counsellor. He starts his own counseling next Friday. My problem is that I’m not sure how to handle his depression. I feel like he is using it as an excuse for everything. He says the antidepressants make him more tired so he’s been going to bed early. But he has done this for months. Two nights ago I only had 3 hours sleep as I was up 7 times with our 3 year old. He knew I was tired and still went to bed early. This morning he started having a go at me about going to bed at 11.30 I told him I was up with our 1 year old and trying to get him back to sleep. I said that he should have stayed up and let me get some sleep because he has been getting more sleep than anyone. He got so angry and said I’m not being supportive and said he should go away for a few days Am I wrong to expect him to still do the right thing by me or am I right in thinking he is being very selfish in his actions? I am not sure if I am supposed to let him get away with not doing anything or let him know that I’m upset. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time because I never know when he’s going to blow up. I feel like I can’t tell him how I feel about anything because he just says he’s depressed and can’t help it.

Wishful_thinking Sabotaging my own happiness
  • replies: 7

Hello everyone , I've come here to seek the advice of strangers as you guys will be the ones looking in. Here goes!!.. I've been with my partner for almost two years ,his the most perfect Person I've ever met!!. He makes me incredibly happy and in a ... View more

Hello everyone , I've come here to seek the advice of strangers as you guys will be the ones looking in. Here goes!!.. I've been with my partner for almost two years ,his the most perfect Person I've ever met!!. He makes me incredibly happy and in a way His sorta saved me :). My problem is myself that I know ,but I can't for the life of me Stop thinking that he maybe cheating or at least talking to someone Now I know deep down that he would not cheat on me as his already Been through it twice and he got really low I get on so well with his family and he with mine We have already talked about starting a family and getting married And just growing old with each other. I've talked to him about similar things before and we've Already been through the "if you cheat on me it's over" conversation But I just can't get over it.. I sound crazy even while I wrote this ... I no he wouldn't hurt me And there is no way in hell I'll ever leave him. We were both in very difficult places when we first met and his family Has come to me and thanked me for bringing There son back to them. I do have anxiety and some days it's so bad I just want to cry.. I've been hurt in the past with other people So I do have trust issues But I don't want to keep having to get him to reassure me that I'm the one.. His a plumber and his just had on call come back , he gets into this Sorta trance when his on call ,I asked him about it and his told me That when his on call he can't relax and the jobs never really done, that I get .. I also get that his always checking his phone ,but sometimes he messages And he will move away or walk away.. I don't go through his phone and he does t go through mine .however if we ever Asked each other ,we would hand over ours phones with no second though, I kinda don't really know what I'm seeking here , we both work full time jobs We live with each other and have pets. He starts early and finishes early ,I on the other hand Start late and finish sometimes late..I feel bad for him cause his alone for hours while I'm working.. I have low self-esteem and sometimes I feel like he could do better..even though I've told him that and his told me his punching above his weight ... I love this man sooo much and to think about life without him makes me incredibly sad.. I'd do anything for this man ,and I want to fix myself so I can finally relax and just let him love me.. Thanks :)

SammiSam Tips for helping someone deal with anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi, my sister is dealing with anxiety which seems to come on for no reason that she can work out. I was wondering if anybody has tips for me to help her overcome her anxious tendencies.

Hi, my sister is dealing with anxiety which seems to come on for no reason that she can work out. I was wondering if anybody has tips for me to help her overcome her anxious tendencies.

Jarel I don't know whether to scream or cry
  • replies: 8

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has s... View more

So im due to go overseas alone in 7 days for a trip I have been looking forward to because everything at home has fallen apart. My sister is not talking to me and we live in the same house, says when I come but we are to look at selling. My mum has severe depression and on top of that Motor Neurons disease but refuses to seek help and has caused so much unneccesary stress and pain. She lies and manipulates but I cant let her go as she is my mum and she is sick but this has now gotten to stage where I am going to break.. I cannot do this shit anymore. What about me, my sanity! All I wanted to do was go have some fun forget about everything and now this

Karenwill55 Complicated break up
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years. He has major depression all thought out his life I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a 16 years old son Who has depression due to his step dad In the relationship my boyfriend always talked about The girls a... View more

My boyfriend and I been together for 12 years. He has major depression all thought out his life I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a 16 years old son Who has depression due to his step dad In the relationship my boyfriend always talked about The girls at his work wanting to go to there place And stay the night. Plus he would always looked at Porn the type of porn he looks at is disgusting His very attached to his oldest sister which they are Very close I couldn't stand. My boyfriend is 57 and I'm 38. He sees his sister as a mother which I still don't like I was always very jealous of there bond. About a month Ago we broke up well I told him we are breaking up He told his sister like always tells her everything about our fights She is very upset with me. She blames me for everything Its been a month and I still have his furniture, his mothers engagement Ring and wedding ring, his mothers items. His mother past away 7 years ago. He keeps coming over all the time. My son sees him as his dad My boyfriend isn't his real dad of course. I couldn't stand it any longer Due to the fact what he had done. I still love him. I drive him to his appointments to See his psychiatrist that's 1 hour away every fortnight. He still wants me to bake him cakes and biscuits Plus have him over once a fortnight for dinner which I wanted to do. I take him out once a month. Does this sound like a break up to you. I don't know what it is. Very confusing. I have tried to talk to him but he tells me not to Stress him out and that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Coally I haven't had a friend in almost a decade
  • replies: 3

Hi Reader, I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life wi... View more

Hi Reader, I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life without a friend. Acquaintances are all I have ever made for the last few years. I would like to think there is at least one person in the world I would be able to create a lasting connection with. I'd like to make one genuine friend in the next few years or so but I don't know where to start. It feels like people have already created their friendship circles and left no place vacant. I find it incredibly hard to trust people, even my family. The closest thing I have to a friend is myself, any issues I have ever had has been left to my little brain, but I like the idea of having someone to talk to every now and then. I don't stay anywhere longer than I need to be, after work or study I just head home and either study more or play video games which keep me occupied until the next day. I am neither happy or sad, I don't know how else to describe the feeling I have the majority of the time. I'd like to know if there is anyone who can relate, and possibly have advice on making a friend. Thanks for reading

anonymous8038 Attention seeking boyfriend, help
  • replies: 5

My long term boyfriend has problems with other women. It started with him wanting to be with and chasing another taken girl while we were together, he ended that after her boyfriend found out. He has always gotten secret attention from other girls on... View more

My long term boyfriend has problems with other women. It started with him wanting to be with and chasing another taken girl while we were together, he ended that after her boyfriend found out. He has always gotten secret attention from other girls on social media, like Snapchat and dms on facebook and Instagram. He has stopped now because I told him that he can have the attention from them, but he can’t have me as well. Now it is more in person. He always tries to make eye contact with girls to get their attention and shows off a lot when there are other girls around. He acts super flirty. He doesn’t see it like that but many of my friends have commented on the fact that they’ve noticed it too and that he has flirted with them as well, they feel extremely uncomfortable about it. He is still doing this to most girls that he sees, whether I am with him or not. My self esteem is at the lowest it’s ever been and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m not good enough. How do I help him? How do I help myself? What should I do in this situation? Please help any advice would be really appreciated

kek Housemate is making me feel mean towards her and I don't like how I react around her
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have a housemate who is frustrating to be around and I find myself getting really passive aggressive towards her. I don't like how I react to her and she makes me feel like a horrible person because I'm so mean to her and it really gets me down... View more

Hi, I have a housemate who is frustrating to be around and I find myself getting really passive aggressive towards her. I don't like how I react to her and she makes me feel like a horrible person because I'm so mean to her and it really gets me down. I'm not sure what it is about her that brings this out in me. I want to go home to relax but I find myself getting more tense when she is home. I have been living with her for almost 2 years now. I have a FIFO job so I'm not always at home. Over the past two years I have had two other housemates come and go. They have said independently and without any prompting from me that they feel like they are being mean to her and don't like how they respond. So I don't think that I am 100% the problem in this relationship. She's been bullied most of her life from what she said and it sounds like her family is not very supportive either because she says they constantly cut her down. I can see the growth in her since she's moved in and she is a lot easier to live with now but it's still hard and draining. She thinks everyone is always cutting her down and judging her. I can't explain it and I feel horrible saying it but it is so easy to do. She is very reliant on other people opinion and doesn't seem to help herself. I am really struggling at work and desperately need to quit my job and have a career change for my own mental health. But to do that I need to rent out my other spare room to pay the mortgage. Right now my 2nd housemate is planning on moving out because she can't live with her anymore. It's making for a very tense household. I'm not sure how to approach her and ask her to leave. She will take it really personally and will be devastated, thinking no one likes her. She was a friend (not super close) before she moved in so will be really hurt and I will continue to see her afterwards in my friendship group. She will also probably move back in with her parents which will not help her self esteem at all and I don't want to be responsible for that. I feel like I can't kick her out because I'm the mean one not her. But my other friends can't live with her so am I justified in wanting her to leave? How do I ask her to leave? She will know it's because I don't want to be around her because I'm not going to ask the other housemate to leave. I feel horrible about it and it is making me feel sick. I really need to quit my job but I can't do it while she is living with me. Any advice?

Shockwave Could somebody please give me a name for this kind of person.
  • replies: 8

Often complains they are not being treated with respect or that others are rude to them. Will fly off the handle at the most minor of problems, or jump down another's throat when asked a basic question as if to convey a message to the effect of "don'... View more

Often complains they are not being treated with respect or that others are rude to them. Will fly off the handle at the most minor of problems, or jump down another's throat when asked a basic question as if to convey a message to the effect of "don't disturb me" Even if a problem is an accident (like, for example, dropping a dinner plate on the kitchen floor and breaking it) the person will be annoyed and make a fuss as if you dropped it on purpose. Not making an effort to get on with their partners family and/ or friends to the point they will not attend important family events and you end up having to go alone. Will run off after a disagreement and not talk to their partner , for sometimes for up to a week or more !. When asked are you ok, their response is usually "I'm fine, I just need my space" When told about an issue you're facing with them, rather than take it on board, they will almost always come back with a similar thing that you've done to them. Like they have a pressing need to get even rather than deal with the issue raised. Complains that you have a compulsive obsessive disorder for a certain life activity yet they also do it, probably more often than you do . For example, wife complains to husband that he is on his smart phone far too often but wife is the same and will often go to the extreme of picking up her phone and writing a text message while in the middle of eating a meal at a restaurant.