Hi Miilicent
You sound like such a deeply feeling person and I can't help but wonder whether you've always been this way to some degree. Is it in your nature to feel intensely within your self, while also feeling deeply for others? I also wonder whether it's in your son's nature. Two deeply feeling peas in a pod. When certain conditions (internal or environmental) ramp up our ability to sense or feel, to say this can be challenging is an understatement.
As a 54yo mum and wife, I can relate to that need to manage everyone's emotions (aka 'keeping the peace'). It can be stressful and exhausting stuff at times, that's for sure, especially if we've always been in the habit of doing it. When our kids are older, it can become even more intense because now we're trying to manage how a group of adults interact. Btw, my daughter's 22 and my son's 19. Not sure whether it's the same in your family but my husband still sees our kids as kids to some degree and he tends to yell at them as a form of discipline at times. In his mind, he doesn't see the need to help them manage life as adults, helping them develop strategies for managing. Ultimately, it's become more about him venting an enraging level of personal frustration that does no one any favours.
When we're sensing someone's enraged level of frustration, someone's stress, someone's low energy or depression, someone's sense of feeling lost, someone's stubborn refusal to change their ways and so much more on top of our own feelings that's a heck of a lot of energy in motion or e-motion (within ourself) to be feeling. When there's already a lot of energy happening within us, as our body is reforming itself in super intense ways (perimenopause), put that together and it's a hyperactive amount of energy. If there are no outlets or ways to vent or no ways to calm what's being felt, it can feel like a pressure cooker ready to explode. I suppose the question is 'Do you wish to manage your energy with the help of chemistry in medication or manage it more naturally or maybe a bit of both?'. Different things work for different people. With these being different paths, do you feel the desperate need to now choose your path?
