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Anxiety about dating

Von is lost
Community Member
I’ve started catching up with a guy I went to high school with, calling each other once a week for four weeks now (he lives in another state). It’s been so nice to get to know him outside of school and after all these years. I really enjoy our chats and I think he does too. In the past boys have only used me for sexual reasons mainly or just wanted something causal so this is the first time in a long time that someone seems interested in getting to know me. Because I’m not used to it, we were being a bit flirty through texts after our last phone call and I suggested sending him a picture of me because in the past boys have wanted that. He replied saying he’d rather wait until we can meet up in person and that some things are best kept secret until the right moment comes along. I now feel kind of silly and embarrassed that I suggested it and now very anxious that I may have ruined my chances for something real 😞
7 Replies 7

Guest_7403
Community Member

Its a strange concept in this day and age when a guy isn't interested in that.

I'm the same....not interested in girls sending pictures.

Some people are attracted to personality over physical....considering it a good thing you.

You haven't ruined anything and you now know he's not interested in you for a physical relationship only.

Consider yourself lucky that you've found someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

Take care x

KK22
Community Member
Don't feel silly or embarrassed! It seems like you two are getting along well and that he's genuinely interested in building on this with you without focusing on the physical side of things. He will probably even forget that you even mentioned it so don't think too much about it! 🙂

not_james_bond
Community Member

Good afternoon Von,

I agree with the previous responses as well. Take it for what it is. At some stage or another either of you could have asked for a pic and for most occasions there is no wrong time.

Try not to think worse case scenarios of what the other person may be thinking. It will definitely make anxiety creep in if you do.

Sounds exciting though and you have a true interest in something moving forward. Just let it keep unfolding step by step.

Stay safe and enjoy your day.

Thank you all so much for replying.

Its really nice to hear from other people that it’s not the end of the world and that I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I definitely tend to jump to worst case scenario in these kinds of situations so I’ll just try to stay calm and positive.

jaz28
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Von is lost,

It's sad that in modern times we grow to learn that men only want to objectify this.

It's great that this guy wants to get to know you, enjoy it 🙂 He's probably one of the good ones! He suggested meeting up, that means it didn't bother him much if at all 🙂

Stay positive,

Jaz.

Elsam
Community Member

Hi Von

He sounds like a nice guy and not just after one thing which most of them are after these days!

I think it is respectful that he didn’t request photos of you

How long since you have heard from him if you don’t mind me asking

It’s only been a day, and he has told me texting is not one of his strengths so I’m hoping I haven’t freaked him out and that it’s just normal. Usually by the weekend we organise a time to call so hopefully all goes to plan