Always lose interest

[english777]

I'm an introverted 50-something hetero guy with a long history of losing interest in my partners. I yearn for a fulfilling relationship but at some point (anything from 6 months to maybe a year or more) the sexual interest drops right off and I feel like crap because I still have feelings for my partner but I know I can no longer fulfill their needs. By this point my partner usually feels to me like she's my best friend. I either end up losing her altogether or end up in a shadow of a friendship with her. This happens regardless of whether we live together or not.

I cannot reconcile my desire for a fulfilling and lasting relationship with the reality of my sexual desire.

I have been (not always but now) open with my partners as to my history, but I still feel tremendous guilt when the feelings go.

I'm wondering if I should abandon normal sexual relationships altogether, to avoid this pain (for both parties). But I know I will always long for a relationship.

[Bob_22]

Hi English777,

It sounds like you are yearning for something that hasn't been fulfilled with previous relationships. Perhaps it is time to look inward at what it is you're looking for before starting another relationship. This can help you set healthy expectations of what's to come 6 months down the line. It's best to do this with the help of a professional such as a psychologist or counsellor. I currently see one and he has helped me set relationship goals. 

Hope this helps.

Bob