Hi their hope you are ok im no therapist but sounds like both of yaz never fully moved on from the crisis. I known people who could never get past and it lingered around for years until they split or others who just moved past it but didn't quite know how to deal with each other since. I think going back to the basics in life when we face adversity sometimes helps.
1 if you feel like you do have a chat ask how she feels if you haven't already sometimes asking how the other feels before we tell them our feelings can soften the conversation
2 Do simple things together like a date night eg have dinner or a lunch etc or catch a movie at the cinemas or simply go to to shops and have a browse for things.
3 Go for a walk or do some form of exercises or activities together be surprised how much this can help
4 Keep being honest and open with communication and let each other know how you feel and how things are progressing
Hope this helps
