My 31yr old daughter has lashed out once again. This time I gave the "wrong response" to something. I had just returned from a week with them, helping clean and babysitting prior to them moving. I thought it had gone well. Daughter actually said she thought we were the best we'd been! My apology for saying wrong thing was met with partner accusing me of gaslighting and daughter claiming I was 'passively disapproving' to hurt her all week. Wouldn't have been there if i was! SO confused!!
4 yrs ago, (after being together for 6) she rang me out of the blue telling me she was thinking of leaving partner. Therapist had suggested things weren't going to change. I tried to be careful with words but asked her how she'd feel if he wanted to end it. She said relieved! 3days later she said they'd talked and all was going to be good. 4 days later He proposed!! In response to that I said to him "I guess you realised what you had to lose" (that's all!) Apparently that one line was the nail in my coffin! They just brought it up again to show my heartlessness. Because of this, no contact for 8 months. They got married with just his parents present which hurt a lot. But I kept it down and we reconciled when she got pregnant. I have been there to help whenever needed. Kept my mouth shut with partners controlling behaviour. He said I was a sociopath, that all 3 of my kids are great and that's because he can't see any of me in them and that he feels so sorry for them. My husband msgd them to say STOP THIS! Then they said how sad for him to have to be with me. Husband said I think more joy in this house than yours (that's all) This had daughter screaming 'What has she been saying? I'm the happiest I've ever been!' Then "Don't ever contact us or try to see grandson again.
My daughter has attacked me out of the blue on a few occasions since she was 16, I think there are some mental issues with both of them. She has accused me of controlling, judging, not trusting. Her well-adjusted older brothers have trouble with that. As the youngest and only girl, they think she got things a lot easier and could not have had a better Mother. I have become used to treading on eggshells with them but let my guard down for a minute! I honestly don't know how I'm here. Cant stop thinking about it, trying to understand it. Drowning in despair with it all and the thought of not seeing that little boy again. But my sons have given me 4 little girls that love me and I have to somehow keep living for.
