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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Hstar Jealousy taking control of my fiancé to the point of me becoming suspicios
  • replies: 4

I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years and I have lately been overwhelmed with jealousy and controlling behaviour to the point that I’m stopping myself going out with friends so he will do the same . I don’t like him going to work events incas... View more

I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years and I have lately been overwhelmed with jealousy and controlling behaviour to the point that I’m stopping myself going out with friends so he will do the same . I don’t like him going to work events incase someone he becomes more interested in . and I’m becoming super stressed angry and jealous about so many things . I feel I need help as our relationship is almost at breaking point and I can’t afford a psychologist . I need strategies to get me out of my own head space . I go to the gym regularly and I work a lot but when I’m alone and I hear of things he would like to do I am extremely jealous.

Wookie123 Relationship over - 10 years
  • replies: 11

Hi all, after 10 years together, my partner ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. At first it didn’t seem real, but today we chatted and she said doesn’t want to come back. Her reason is she’s just unhappy and not sure what she wants.I’m genuinely stru... View more

Hi all, after 10 years together, my partner ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. At first it didn’t seem real, but today we chatted and she said doesn’t want to come back. Her reason is she’s just unhappy and not sure what she wants.I’m genuinely struggling, I just don’t know what to do. I’m 43, no kids and now feels like I have nothing to show for my life. mornings, and especially nights have been hard. Eating dinner, that basically doesn’t happen as I can’t think of a time in 10 years we haven’t sat down together. I just sit and cry.I don’t have a big circle of friends, my family support is not the best. Work colleagues have been good, but with all this is still feel very lonely. So very lonely.what I can’t understand is that if she doesn’t know what she wants, why do I have to be the sacrificial one? Why me? It just hurts so much

teaBee Alone
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend just went out with his friends tonight and I’m here alone. My best friend never invites me to things anymore. And every time I try and reach out she’s busy. Where did all my friends go. I’m so tired and anxious these day I don’t know how... View more

My boyfriend just went out with his friends tonight and I’m here alone. My best friend never invites me to things anymore. And every time I try and reach out she’s busy. Where did all my friends go. I’m so tired and anxious these day I don’t know how to make new friends. And all my friends from high school have moved far away. I want to go out and have a girls night and laugh and have fun. But with who.

99what_now99 I don't know what I should do now
  • replies: 1

Today I made the decision that my husband and I would begin being separated. We have been married for 6.5 years (together for 8.5) and we've made it through hurdles before but now it feels we have run out of steam. Neither one of us cares much about ... View more

Today I made the decision that my husband and I would begin being separated. We have been married for 6.5 years (together for 8.5) and we've made it through hurdles before but now it feels we have run out of steam. Neither one of us cares much about what the other says or does. Every conversation ends in an argument. He has a drinking problem. I have anxiety. We both have depression. His has hit hard this year especially when changing jobs. On the outset, he is in a better place, less toxic and actually enjoys work now. I'm less depressed this year and working on my social anxiety. But we don't have energy to support each other anymore. We've given all we can. And now we are walking on egg shells everyday. Today we finally admitted that we can't do this anymore. I've moved into the spare room. I'm not going to fight about who loves where. I don't care anymore. I just want to be happy. I guess, I just don't know what to do from here. I'll move my things into the spare room over this week. But then what? How long do i stay under the same roof for? When do we go to mediation? My biggest concern is leaving our dogs. We have two. And I know he will fight to have them. I don't want to fight. But I don't want to not have them. They are my babies and have been by side through everything. There's the housing crisis as it is, so even if I move out, it's unlikely I'll find anywhere that will let me have dogs for the weekend or every fortnight.... I don't know what to do. What are the steps you took after separation? I'm mainly asking for those who were the one to leave the home, what did you do? How long? Did you do mediation? Did things become amicable? I know my husband is petty, and he will take shots wherever. I really can't see him being mature about this. He's been throwing divorce in my face for the last 2 years whenever we have a fight but he has never been the one to leave or raise concerns. He just pretends everything is fine. I'm dealing with someone very manipulative, deflects, plays victim, and who is very good with words. I don't know if any of that makes sense. I just need someone to talk to.

HelloGail Mother's Day
  • replies: 2

I am back after posting December 22 to April 23. My daughter told me in a matter of fact way, we were not arguing but our relationship became strained. She rang me on 14 March 2023, just to tell me she doesnt want me in her life anymore. Talk about a... View more

I am back after posting December 22 to April 23. My daughter told me in a matter of fact way, we were not arguing but our relationship became strained. She rang me on 14 March 2023, just to tell me she doesnt want me in her life anymore. Talk about a slow burn. I wanted to end my life early this morning as I didn't want to face Mother's Day. I still haven't heard from her since 14th March. Relationship Australia suggested I send her a message to let her know the door is always open. I texted her on 19 April 23 letting her know I am thinking of her, love mum xo. But there was no response. So I cancelled my next appointment and went off BeyondBlue website as I just 'give up'. It is hurting so much today, how could my only child be so cruel. She us age 25 and is moving to the UK to live on 4 June. I am not handling this

Cotts Relationship and Family-Vaccine-New Parent Cut off.
  • replies: 8

My Son and I have always been very close and have to date had a loving relationship. He has been in UK the past 10 years and over the past year has become a Dad with his Partner who is Heavily Anti Vaccine driven. At first at the start of the Pandemi... View more

My Son and I have always been very close and have to date had a loving relationship. He has been in UK the past 10 years and over the past year has become a Dad with his Partner who is Heavily Anti Vaccine driven. At first at the start of the Pandemic and later when Vaccine became a thing my Son bent over backwards trying to convince me the Vaccine is dangerous. After due diligence I formed a view the vaccine would be the best thing for my own health as well as others. Today, after 5 Vaccine's I'm very happy with my decision. I have tried to encourage my Son to Vaccine always pointing to fact checkers to disprove each and every you tube anti Vax theory he threw at me. It got exhausting. Our latest discussion my Son decided out of the blue to cut me off from all forms of communication, phone, Internet, email the lot as well as advising friends and other family he know longer wants any contact with me. Now, My Son and his Partner and 6 month old Baby, all Unvaccinated are in Australia and I have no way of seeing my Grand Daughter. Whether right or wrong all I was trying to do was care for their health and well-being and to be cut off for this has left me with a rotten feeling deep inside. As some of the earlier posts have said, you devote all time to our kids, every second , every thought and it all gets chucked out because of this dispute. Note this includes National Immunisation Schedule for Children. My feelings toward my Son and his Partner have now really questioned my entire life and the way I raised my Child. Both his Mum and myself are single Parents and amicably shared custody. If my Son got sick of me he's go to Mum's and if he got sick of Mum he's gravitate back to me. This is a massive kick in the guts. I now feel as if I don't even want to see him anymore. Feelings i never had before. It scares me. What does he plan to tell his Grand Daughter in 15 years when she's old enough to come see me? "We cut Grand Dad off because he wanted you to get Vaxxed." Right now it's difficult to move on with life, depressed, feel my life has been a total waste and wonder how my own Son could make such a massive call only because his Dad was worried for the well being of his Grand Daughter not to mention his own Son.

CupcakeHugs Dealing with a relationship that is affected by severe low-esteem causing insecurity
  • replies: 2

Currently in a relationship that is affected by my partners low esteem that then resorts to insecurity. It's becoming so draining half of the time I don't know how to feel with him. One thing I do know is that I do truly love and care for him. Though... View more

Currently in a relationship that is affected by my partners low esteem that then resorts to insecurity. It's becoming so draining half of the time I don't know how to feel with him. One thing I do know is that I do truly love and care for him. Though my heart is suffering and so is my mental health at times. I don't know if it will get better or get worst. Over the weeks I have noticed it becoming more regular that we are having daily issues with mis communication that starts from conversations that go from good to worst. I am the person that in his life makes him feel worth. I live on egg shells so if I say the wrong thing and that could be in every line, even though I am not intentionally trying to make him feel like crap he still sees in some way that I have made him feel terrible. Lets just say it's like fighting a losing battle. I just want positivity and prosper in life he just gets that way where he can't see that some days and so wrapped up in his emotions. I don't know how to think or feel half of the time with him but yet I love him so dearly. I feel he has so many issues with mental health that it sets of my mental health that is no good at times when I reach a peak level of stress with this relationship. Anyone can relate?

beanstalk_worm Trust issues, radioactive jealousy and trauma from past experiences
  • replies: 3

(P2) i moved on from this relationship 2 months before we split up and was taking a liking to a boy I went to school with and saw everyday. We started to talk more and I really liked him and enjoyed his company. We then started to talk more and more ... View more

(P2) i moved on from this relationship 2 months before we split up and was taking a liking to a boy I went to school with and saw everyday. We started to talk more and I really liked him and enjoyed his company. We then started to talk more and more and dated around November of 2021. We have been dating ever since but I can not seem to let go of my past with relationships and boys. I am so jelous when I see him with girls he used to like or even now, just girls who have a reputation. I keep seeing him around girls and it is getting to the point I think he’s like my ex. He is nothing like my ex, and would never do anything like that to hurt me in a million years but I can’t help but jump to the worst possible conclusion every single time. It’s so bad, that it’s a effecting my relationship and he has repeatedly used the word tiring to describe how he is feeling with my jelous and trust issues. I have tried to open up about my past in the past (haha) but he just shuts it down by saying okay. I just want everything to be good again, and I wish I could allow him to feel more free and less restricted. I just want things to workout and I feel sorry that I’m dragging him down with me. I don’t want to let my ex boyfriend ruin dating for me, and I hope that this nasty feeling that clouds me can disappear and the sun will shine bright again. Please help me, how can I stop seeing him with other girls and throw a tantrum of anger, frustration and jealousy and become completely and utterly sour to the point my boyfriend is struggling to cope with it all. I don’t want to break up, but I don’t want to keep feeling jelous because I worry he will cheat or something will happen. Did I mention that I trust him, just not those around? But does that make sense because if I truszted him, why do I feel this way? Help me, I’m a little worm climbing a beanstalk and keep getting blown down by the wind and having to start the big climb all over again. This feeling is torture and never ending. You’d think after nearly a year and a half you’d mature and build trust. For me I’m stuck in a rut

sparrowhawk My boyfriend slept with a sex worker
  • replies: 14

I (31F) have been dating a man (37M) for the past three months. I left a long-term unhealthy environment (a religious community) last year, have carried a lot of hurt and pain from that, and didn't expect I would find someone who would care for me or... View more

I (31F) have been dating a man (37M) for the past three months. I left a long-term unhealthy environment (a religious community) last year, have carried a lot of hurt and pain from that, and didn't expect I would find someone who would care for me or want to be with me (he is my first boyfriend). We've formed a very deep and open connection and have been honest about ourselves. He went overseas during April and while he was away I sensed something was off. We usually message daily, he had mentioned before he left he'd call and stay in touch but we had minimal contact. I tried to put it down to the fact he was away, and of course wanted him to have a good time, but something didn't sit right and I thought he might have found someone else or wanted to break up. I saw him last Friday after he got back and he was still a bit off, but I put it down to him being jetlagged. When I talked to him on Sunday he told me he wants to take things slow, and that he's unsure of his long-term goals. Last night he called me and told me he paid for sex while overseas. He was incredibly apologetic and aware of what this might mean for our relationship. I'm completely devastated and can't help feeling like this is a reflection on me and that I'm obviously not good enough, just as I wasn't good enough for the people I lived with in community. I have really found myself falling for him, really liking him and feeling very connected and safe with him. It's breaking me to think we need to part ways but I can't see any reason that would make this something I could move through. I just can't stop crying.

Kimberley78 Partner of 10 years showing signs of mid-life crisis & depression, maybe dumping me out of the blue
  • replies: 1

I’m a female who’s nearly 45 and my partner, who I’ve been with for almost 10 years and have known for over 30 years, has shown signs of mid life crisis and possibly depression since Easter. On Saturday, he told me he’s feeling bad and ‘still cares a... View more

I’m a female who’s nearly 45 and my partner, who I’ve been with for almost 10 years and have known for over 30 years, has shown signs of mid life crisis and possibly depression since Easter. On Saturday, he told me he’s feeling bad and ‘still cares about me’. It came out of the blue and I feel so heartbroken and shut out. I don’t know where I stand with him, meaning are we still together or not? I have gotten him to talk and he keeps saying ‘I don’t know’ when I ask questions about where I stand with him, why he’s acting this way, etc. I split up from my ex-husband back in 2009 and the divorce from him was finalised in 2013. 10 years later, I’m worried I’m about to be back to where I was in 2009.I really love my partner and I want to help him and I’m trying to help him. I have said that I think he needs counselling and I suggested taking up a hobby or getting back into basketball, which he enjoys. When I’m alone, I’ve been crying on and off, trying to process things because I don’t understand why he’s acting this way and where this talk of potentially dumping me came from. I even asked him ‘is potentially dumping me really the answer?’ I said to him that ‘it feels like you’ve hit a hurdle in the road and given up, not just on yourself but also on us’. I pleaded with him not to shut me out.I’ve been sleeping in the spare room on a sofa bed which is not that comfortable for the last few nights, the room itself is cold and it’s cramped. I’m doing this to give him space but I’m afraid I’ll end up having to move myself and my cat out in the future. We’re in the midst of a rental crisis at the moment and this is all scary. During the working week I go to work and have to put on a brave face and try not to think about it, which itself isn’t easy. I feel alone and I don’t know what else to do