Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

shaz800 My husband hates my mum
  • replies: 4

My husband and I have been married for 7 yrs. Over the last year things have gone down so badly between him and especially my mother. He is refusing to attend any family gatherings now for over a year and I feel he is disrespectful to me. Everytime I... View more

My husband and I have been married for 7 yrs. Over the last year things have gone down so badly between him and especially my mother. He is refusing to attend any family gatherings now for over a year and I feel he is disrespectful to me. Everytime I try to ask him to come for me and think of the kids and he still wouldn’t attend . Our conversation always end up with him blasting at me and telling me to stop talking or asking him to go. I feel I cannot connect with him anymore and he is constantly shutting out. I’m starting to feel my marriage is not working anymore and I feel I need to get out.My mother and I are close so I share my difficulties about some marriage problems with her. I think it is my fault now how this all began , because I was so tired one day as I haven’t slept because of looking after my newborn and I told my mother that my husband in fact doesn’t like them. He has been saying this in the background all these years as my husband doesn’t like my mother and her personality , and it has affected me. He always bring her up in every argument we have even though sometimes she has nothing to do with it , which is absurd . I think he just doesn’t like her from the start . My mother has a difficult personality and she shows it when she doesn’t like a person. She can be rude. So she started being rude by not responding to him whenever he says hello and then she started to snub his mother when she tried to talk to her.So it started from there. And somehow he heard things from his friends about my mum not trusting her son in law and afraid that he is going to take her finances . I cannot confirm this source and I asked my mum and she has shown me all her conversations with her friends( she doesn’t have many)I know her she is very private about these things esp finances so it is not like her to say it so easily to her friends .anyway my husband is greatly affected by what his bunch of friends heard about my mother saying stuff like that , which i can’t even confirm the source. And from then onwards, he started hating my family and saying he wants them out of his life and he doesn’t want to spend any second to see them.it hurts me a lot as I can’t resolve this, I feel I could be a cause of the start of this but now it’s gotten so bad and I feel his reaction is too big.

bearbeige moved to a new country and hate my current school
  • replies: 1

I'm a year 10 student who recently moved to Australia 4 months ago. life here has been great so far, but I've had problems with socializing in my school. I've never been one to socialize a lot because I find talking a little intimidating, but I tried... View more

I'm a year 10 student who recently moved to Australia 4 months ago. life here has been great so far, but I've had problems with socializing in my school. I've never been one to socialize a lot because I find talking a little intimidating, but I tried my best to talk to people and eventually found a group of people. however, i always seem to be left out from their activities and because the group is quite big, it's made of 5 close groups of people. i always seem to be left out as I'm not that close to any of the people to be considered in their friend group, and they constantly talk about inside jokes and plan personal hangouts without me. I have 3 other people in my class, but today all of them announced they were switching to another class to be with their friends, leaving me the only person left in the class. what can I do to get closer to them or should I try another way? I know that sometimes it's better to leave a friend group instead of mending my relationship with them, but I've always been scared of starting again. it took me a long time to find my current friend group and it took a lot of courage, and I'm scared of starting again with nothing. I hate talking to new people and being put in an new environment, so I'm just wondering how I can improve my situation. all answers are welcome, so please respond!

Penster_ed Looking for help for my daughter
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm looking for help for my single daughter, mum of 2 boys who lives in NSW. She is struggling managing the boys and I can't be there as often as i'd like to be. Does any one know where she could go to get help. It's not financial that she needs.... View more

Hi, I'm looking for help for my single daughter, mum of 2 boys who lives in NSW. She is struggling managing the boys and I can't be there as often as i'd like to be. Does any one know where she could go to get help. It's not financial that she needs. Thanks for any ideas.

Allabouttiming Friend with flirty banter bringing new gf to group outings
  • replies: 2

Flirty banter with male friend for 4mthsMatched online and chatted. Discussed dating potential given our group of common friends. A group (all dog owners) I started over a year ago and he only joined last November.We mutally decided it was too hard i... View more

Flirty banter with male friend for 4mthsMatched online and chatted. Discussed dating potential given our group of common friends. A group (all dog owners) I started over a year ago and he only joined last November.We mutally decided it was too hard in case things went southFlirty messages persisted until 1 week before EasterI went away at Easter for 1 weekCame back to him bringing his new gf down to the dog park. PDA was full onAm happy for him but also totally annoyed. He is now away for a monthAm fearful that when he returns he will start to bring her out with our group of friends. I find it so uncomfortable and somewhat disrespectful.Should I talk to him about it when he returns to ask perhaps if he can avoid bringing her out with us (no one else in the group brings who they are dating down) or do I just have to work through the awkwardness and disappointment myself? I feel like we may have a group outing in the future that involves drinking where I may blurt something out. Appreciate any advice

Ontheedge19 Struggling with my parents
  • replies: 1

So I've got ptsd from childhood trauma with both my parents I'm now 22 and have a nearly 3 year old My parents have always made me feel like yhe black sheep or that I'm not cared about compared to my 2 older brother who are like angels in there eyes ... View more

So I've got ptsd from childhood trauma with both my parents I'm now 22 and have a nearly 3 year old My parents have always made me feel like yhe black sheep or that I'm not cared about compared to my 2 older brother who are like angels in there eyes My parents got angry with me when I feel pregnant and wasnt very supportive in anything and after I had my son they have only showed up on his birthday and that's it They never make the effort with him or try he got the most stupid toy for his last bday (a bla kit for $10 that was just really sad cause my brothers child got something way more expensive (brand new xbox and he's 6 )and he's not the blood grandchild I live 40 mins from them and they both work in the same town I live and has never pooped over for a visit or coffee nothing But they will make a 10 hr drive and spend $1000 of dollars on my brothers and there kids but won't take the time to see me and my son I get a big lecture when ever I ask for something such as a bottle of milk or $10 I have brought this up with both my parents about how I feel and how much my son is the one missing out all I got back from them was I'm sorry u feel that wayI don't care how you treat me but my son deserves better grandparents it's like my parents don't give a shit about me or my son or my partner We don't get invited anywhere I havet even been invited to my brothers wedding I was homeless and car less for a year my parents had a caravan a car they weren't using I asked to borrow them till I find a place noooopppppeee My brother is now in the same situation I use to be in and he git given the car to keep and both caravans makes so much sense I honestly don't know what I'm asking for Just if I'm in my right mind to be angry and for feeling like I want nothing g to do with them anymore cause I don't want my son growing up with such horrible grandparents that won't put effort in to see him As I said I'm done and don't care with how they treat or talk to me anymore I've moved on from that I just hate that there now doing it to my son when he has done nothing to deserve the isolation there giving him It's braking my heart to see all these other grandparents being so involved and for my parents to be so involved in the other grandchildren but not my son I don't know what to do anymore

Em4y9 I need someone to chat to.
  • replies: 2

I feel as if no one cares. I live with my mum and two younger brothers and both my brothers hate me. My mum favours them and always believes them, I used to lie a lot and this just pushed me over the edge. My brother came down crying and screaming at... View more

I feel as if no one cares. I live with my mum and two younger brothers and both my brothers hate me. My mum favours them and always believes them, I used to lie a lot and this just pushed me over the edge. My brother came down crying and screaming at me while my mother was outside. Saying i messaged his friends, calling them incredibly rude words and that I texted my grandma saying she was fat (i didn't).I'm already have a crap day, I feel as if i'm not enough and struggle to eat and do basic actitivites.

Xay Loneliness
  • replies: 6

Hey, I just really need to get this out. I feel lonely all the time, no matter how many people are around I feel alone, I have one friend that I enjoy hanging out with but they don't contact me, I always ask them about there day but they never ask ab... View more

Hey, I just really need to get this out. I feel lonely all the time, no matter how many people are around I feel alone, I have one friend that I enjoy hanging out with but they don't contact me, I always ask them about there day but they never ask about me, it makes me feel like sh*t, and I don't have any friends other than them and one other. It's gotten to the point where I'm terrified of going home because I know I'll feel empty because there's no one around.

RinaGreen Mother in law problems
  • replies: 4

Hello Everyone,My mother in law keeps calling my husband behind my back and want us to get our 6 month old son Christened. Neither me, my husband or father in law are Christian’s, but my mother in law is a Christian herself and she got my husband Chr... View more

Hello Everyone,My mother in law keeps calling my husband behind my back and want us to get our 6 month old son Christened. Neither me, my husband or father in law are Christian’s, but my mother in law is a Christian herself and she got my husband Christened when he was a baby. As a mother, she chose to Christen her son when he as a baby, against my father in law. But now she thinks my husband should decide whether our son should get Chritened or not. For this reason, I’m scared to let her baby sit my son, because I think, she will secretly get him Christened. Even though, she has not offered us to baby sit my son when I return to work; She will baby sit him occasionally for a few hours if we want to do something together as a couple.This is her only grandchild and she is a 65 year old retiree and lives in the same city as us.

dleon Expat grief can’t go back home and help mum
  • replies: 4

Hi, My dad passed away few days ago overseas. Due to distance I was not able to make it to the funeral but was thinking on flying soon to be there’d for mum. I had seen them both 3 months ago and had a plan to visit them mid year. But now apart from ... View more

Hi, My dad passed away few days ago overseas. Due to distance I was not able to make it to the funeral but was thinking on flying soon to be there’d for mum. I had seen them both 3 months ago and had a plan to visit them mid year. But now apart from feeling sad Im struggling with the ordeal and cost of such a long trip. Mum have been with my brother for the funeral and few more days, but soon he has to go back to his job out of town, and mum will be alone. I have this horrible feeling of guilt and anxiety through roof. I feel I’m letting mum down if I don’t travel now, but just arranging the trip is proving really difficult, mentally and financially. Any advice or someone that have gone through this will be appreciated.

CaseyS Advice on depressed ex-boyfriend who left after 10 years
  • replies: 1

Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 years. For the last few years, I guess you could say we were having difficult times. Work and financial pressure due to the house. I used to work outside the city, but due to the pandemic, I started working fr... View more

Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 years. For the last few years, I guess you could say we were having difficult times. Work and financial pressure due to the house. I used to work outside the city, but due to the pandemic, I started working from home. In December 2021 he told me something was wrong. He said I didn’t do anything wrong, but that he needed to figure it out on his own, and that he needed space. He started pulling away, which made me more clingy.For a year, I would try and bring up going to therapy and talking about issues once a month, and he was not receptive. He told me he resented me and didn't know how to stop- even though he wanted to. That it's like we need a reset button but we don't know how to get to it. Those conversations would end in us both being more upset, we talked about breaking up several times. I was going to therapy, he kept avoiding it. He broke up with me 4 months ago and I left immediately. No contact for 3 months until I had to message him about a package that was being delivered. He replied kindly and then followed that saying that he hopes I know I can always talk to him, that he was not ignoring me and he just didn't know how much time and space was needed. He’s in therapy now. We’ve had two calls in the last month- during the last one I asked him if we were over for good or if there was hope for us. He couldn't give me an answer and said he feels like he's only starting to scratch the surface in therapy. His therapist thinks it is depression. During this whole time, he hasn’t initiated a text or call but replies quickly. He suggested we meet up next month. I'm scared- I love him and I want to tell him that I'm more than willing to support him with his mental health and that I still want to be together. I've realised several of my own mistakes during these 4 months apart (I was too clingy, made him responsible for my happiness, I was always negative etc). I’ve been working on my own mental and physical health and I want to bring peace to his life. However, I'm so scared that expressing this will make him feel pressured again. How do I show him that we can have a new start and that his depression doesn't have to be the end for us?