Im really struggling. I’ve just left a 10 year relationship I wasn’t happy in. My kids now stay at thier dads 3 nights a week. Those nights I fall into a hole and get so depressed. I know I should go to the gym or do things I can’t when I have them but I feel so empty without them.
But when they come back home I’m angry all the time. I don’t mean to be but everything ticks me off. I’ve come to realise I’m pushing everyone away from me and it scares me so much
I moved to Adelaide 3 years ago and I’m so lonely and this has made my depression get worse and it contributed to my relationship breakdown
I’m looking for anyone who can give advise or can help
Welcome and also congratulations on making the break and choosing to leave if the relationship no longer serves you and makes you unhappy. It is never easy and does take time to adjust, but you made the change and chose happiness for you which is so important.
Having children and then all of a sudden having to "share" them does take time to adjust to. You have been used to having them 27/7 and when they are not there so many scenarios run through your head, "are they having more fun", "do they love him more"...while you will come to see that none of these things actually matter and as long as the kids are happy, safe and being loved that is what matters. It is a loud silence when they are away and you do need to find something that is for you, for you to love, it may be reading, it may be the gym, it may be baking or catching up with a friend and going to a movie..or just a chat and a coffee.
Perhaps a trip to the GP might help, to discuss these feelings of anger or of feeling like you want to isolate and push everyone away, maybe have a chat and just get a check to see if there is nothing more going on for you.
It is so great you have reached out and I would love to chat more, as much or as little as you like.
Huge hugs to you Cancer02
I would challenge yourself to get out and do those things you’ve been thinking about. Sometimes when I find it difficult to do something I push myself to do that activity for just 5 minutes, then if I can’t carry on I’ll accept it and reward myself for doing the 5 minutes, because that’s so much better than none. Often times it will put me in the right headspace to continue the activity longer.
Putting yourself out there is going to give you more opportunity to be social, meet people, make friends. Physical activity might help with the anger also. I love beating up boxing bags when I’m mad.
Hope that helps xo