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[Franz]

Hi Everyone

I have an awkward situation that is trying me.

I have been married for 35 years and retired for 7.

My mother in law developed a terminal condition 5 years ago and has lived far longer than expected.

We spent years looking after her at her home before she recently went into care. She lives in regional NSW and our usual home is in Sydney

I had thought the deal was that when this happened, we could resume our normal life, but now my wife still wants to visit her every day, meaning she is away for weeks at a time. 

I spend time in town for my independent activities and friends but then miss the daily emotional and physical relationship,  we stay in regular contact and have short holidays together. I periodically spend time there, but it is very limiting as I do not have my own wheels.

I love my wife, but sometimes I feel like an acting extra, a quasi nomad balancing an independent identity against keeping my marriage, in an unwanted competition  with a third party. 

[Matchy69]

Hi Franz and welcome to the forums and know you are struggling at the moment and feel for the situation you are in.I have been a full time carer for my terminally ill mother and she lived a lot longer then then the doctor expected and it did put a lot of strain on my personal life.Just remember it is your wife's mother and she wants to be with her and spend time with her before she does go and when this happens she will have a hug red empty void in her life and this is why she is probably still visiting her mother and being away from you though she gone into full time care now.Just be there for your wife as she will need you.

[Franz]

Thanks. That was what I needed to hear to set me back on a positive path.