My partner of 27 years suddenly announced 2 weeks ago that he's leaving our relationship: demanding shared care of our kids- a young adult son with significant disabilities; and an adult daughter on the autism spectrum, who lives at uni, but needs assistance with self-organisation and mental health. I'm still struggling to comprehend why now; without warning. He thought I would be relieved: I still want 'us'! I'm 7 years younger, he's in his mid-50s, and wants the last section of his life to be how he wants. I knew we were in a slump, but things were going to be more manageable once my course ends.
I have 5 weeks left of a teaching degree, finishing my final prac. I'm struggling, with poor supervisory support & feral students: triggering my anxiety. I've studied since 2011, due to parenting and work and must finish to support myself. I've had depression/ anxiety through adulthood, managing with GP intervention/ medication and occasional counselling; my dad died this year from cancer, my mum is in a home. We were going to sell our house and move to the bush: I'd work and he'd reduce his hours; our son would attend a day-program. He strung me along: telling his family and our daughter a month ago. His family egg him on: the matriarch did the same thing to his dad.
He's moved out and we're now in a cycle of 4 nights each with our son. He only opens up in relationship counselling: he can't see my view that this is selfish, narcissistic and destructive. I'm accused of stifling his need to be in a band, meet with friends, family etc. His unorthodox work hours have restricted any couple time, or to have a life away from the grind: yet he's always completed computer games, copious novels and has guitar lessons, while I've worked, studied or looked after the house. He's frowns on respite to lighten the caring load.
Despite this, I want us together. I admit I can be moody under stress, but that was going to end. I want 'us' back, but this puts him off even more. His plans restrict my ability to return to my home-city, with my siblings, mum and support network (once prac is done); I've found a solicitor - apparently I'm rushing in, that there's time for arrangements later, he doesn't want lawyers involved. I'm afraid of going in hard, but I have rights, as does our son. I'm managing negative self-talk by exercising, meditation, private counselling and my GP. I need guidance to control my roller-coaster feelings, to work out what needs to be done and what is going on.
