33 years and its over, he's the love of my life

[Rox]

he left me june last year, I cry every day, I miss him so much, I'm alone, no friends, no family, just my dogs and a cat, I don't have a job, I struggle to sleep and when I do, I'm pulled awake and then clarity, I feel panic because he's not here, I love him, I'm 53 and he has my heart, nothing will help and I can't take drugs to help me because I don't trust myself, I'm trying to write him a letter but I can't make any sense of it, it's 2:30am ...

[geoff]

dear Rox, this sounds like another way to address your concerns and problems, and boy I hope that it does help you.

I can't tell you not to drink at all or not so much, because I paid no attention to whenever anyone told me to STOP drinking, as I would just go the other way and drink more, simply because I felt that it was no concern for them for me to do what I found was the only way I could numb this awful feeling.

I also had the belief that they didn't really care, maybe they did, but because I was depressed I never thought they were.

Please continue to let us know what is going on, and I do have a fond spot for people who have alcohol problems as well as having OCD. L Geoff. x

[Rox]

i got some really bad news today about my prospects and even tho I['m drinking,  I rang BB for some help but whomever answered the phone didn't think I deserved it and hung up on me...

I'm waiting to hear from my counsellor..

I'm so very stuck

[Chris_B]

Hi Rox,

Thanks for posting and we're sorry to hear you had a negative experience with our support service.

We take feedback like this very seriously and we ensure you it will be passed on to the relevant staff that manage our support service. Our support service then may choose to investigate this matter further. 

Once again, we extend our sincere apologies and we’d like to thank you for bringing this to our attention.

Please continue to speak with us here, and in the meantime you may also want to try contacting CounsellingOnline on 1800 888 236, they're a nationwide 24/7 service providing free alcohol and drug counselling.

[Rox]

hello Christopher, I have been rather intoxicated the last 2 times I have posted, I don't drink very often but on these two occasions I'd been in a very dark place.

I don't recall dialling BB last night but i know that i spoke with a lady and because i can't recall what i said, I may very well have said something to offend her and that it may have been quite appropriate she disconnect the call.

if I did offend the lady then please pass along my sincerest apologies.  if that was not the case, then thank you for your attention.

i've spoken with my counsellor, I've been to see my GP and I'm to see him again in the morning.

everything feels dark today