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25 year old virgin male who has never had a girlfriend. I feel like a pathetic loser.

Semiconductor
Community Member

I'm a 25 year old male. I've never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl or been on a date and I am a virgin. I pretty much have no experience when it comes to romance or intimacy. I feel very lonely, unwanted and unappreciated.

I am an introvert by nature and I'm very shy. I'm not the most attractive guy out there, but I do have a good heart and would like to be with someone. I'm quite straight laced and I'm not the party type. I consider myself down-to-earth, polite, kind, considerate, intelligent, tenderhearted, respectful, responsible and genuinely sensitive. I'm not interested in one-night stands or cheap hookups. I value committed, authentic romantic relationships.

I've only known heartbreak when it comes to women. I've really liked several girls over the years and ended up heartbroken either because they didn't feel the same way, they already had boyfriends or I asked them out and they rejected me.

There are times where I feel that I cannot relate to most people my age because I just have not had the same experiences as them. I dread conversations about sex or relationships with my friends. It feels pretty crappy to wonder why everyone manages to get a girlfriend while you’re left in the dust, even when you put yourself out there. It really does makes you feel less of a man.

I'm also extremely worried that because I have literally no intimate experience whatsoever with anyone, girls will not want to get involved with me because of it. I feel like most girls wouldn't want to be with a man that doesn't have any romantic experience at the age of 25.

41 Replies 41

CJs_mum
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
hi there, this has probably been said already but: geez, you have your whole life still ahead of you! Far out - i don''t get society's push for young people to "go get married before 30". There is so much else out there and so much to learn still. You have time, lucky you, use it well. Don't feel pushed into something that ain't right yet, in time it will happen - often when you're not looking.
Dont feel desperate. Go out and meet new people - join a meet up or find a uni interest group and see who has something in common with you - start from there and see what happens. Take it easy on yourself and ditch that negative: positive stuff about you will get you somewhere with others. Maybe talk with someone about boosting your confidence, that will help too. 🙂 chin up and start finding good stuff and good people around. All the best

pipsy
Community Member

Hey Semi-conductor. Just a thought here, don't laugh. Have you ever considered joining your local church. They have social functions for young people to 'mix and mingle'. You would be with people like you who totally respect your feelings, no pressure to 'perform' or try to 'keep up with the Jonses'. I was involved with my local church for a while, our minister was replaced by a young inexperienced minister, I was having serious marital problems, the minister was no help, so I left. However, aside from that, the church had a social group for the younger members where they had get togethers, dances etc.

Lynda

Aliengirl
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dear guys,

It is not really addressed the issue, but I think it will be interesting if a girl could share her thoughts about this.

Girls will never judge a guy because he is virgin. Girls like men who has senses of humor and care for her when she has troubles and sad. I have many good friends, who are still waiting for a true man, not dating only because of his desire to have sex. A girl will be jealous with any girls slept with her man before her, especially if that is a virgin girl.

My sister was virgin before married to an experienced guy ( now my brother-in-law). He even judged my sis because of her experience. My sis was very shy and delightful before, and I think that is unfair for my sis to be the 8th or 10th girlfriend of that guy. Even they got married, I still don’t like him very much.

Just few days ago, I argued with a guy online and angrily cried. He didn’t say bad things to me at all, he listened to me, even said to me that he was the worst man I’ve met, and I will meet a better man. Eventhough he is a bit cold sometimes, he has successfully stopped my tears at that moment, and in my mind he is the most handsome person. I smiled happily and missed him so much. He is virgin too 🙂

Be confident then and trust in girls, guys.

Cheers,

Katie

Michelle2000
Community Member
How are things going for you now?

toga
Community Member
no such thing as have or not, gx doesn't matter, be/can be anyx nmw and any can b perfx

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

To the OP,

About me. I never really had a girl friend til I met the person who would become my wife. The only difference between you and me was about 1 year. We have been married for 19 years and have 2 children now.My story is intended to give you some hope. You will find that special someone, just have to let it happen naturally, not forced.

I’m 30 years old and a female. I definitely would not judge a guy if they are a virgin at the age of 25. I would certainly not think there’s anything wrong with them. Maybe they have just not yet met the right person. To be honest I find it more attractive when a guy hasn’t slept with 100 women. It means they are looking for something more stable. Obviously I can’t speak for all women on this matter. I lost my virginity quite late as well and unfortunately it was with someone who didn’t really love me. Don’t rush these things. Everyone has their time and make sure it’s with someone who you respect and respects you. If it takes you more time to find it then so be it. I dated guys who dumped me because I wasn’t ready to. That’s their loss. Not mine. If people judge you for it that that’s their problem. You do what’s right for you.

Piscorpleo
Community Member
i lost my virginity 3 days before i met the love of my life to someone who almost gave me hep c through not
wnting to use protection - he didnt care about me obviousl It was in a closet and it was quite sad. i regret what i did ever da. its been over a ear last month and i am healing. but PLEASE until soeone loves ou, save urself pain.

BROKEN KEBOARD forgive me bu hope u undersand PEACE
I feel like is m life job o save ohers from wha happened 2 me haha

-snuffknight82-
Community Member

I know what it feels like mate, I’m in my forty’s and can’t find a girlfriend everyone undermines me and claims I am gay which hurt even more cause I know I’m not on top of all that I was humiliated by my community and ostracised for it my reputation is in tatters and I don’t think I will be ever able to find love

Hi -snuffknight82-

 

Sometimes it can be very hard to live with labels people place on us, I hope you can find the strength and encouragement to move on, to be true to yourself and who you are deep inside.

 

It can be hard to meet new people and form relationships, whether they be friendships or something more substantial. Are you able to move out of the community that has ostracised you and find other people to be with? I know sometimes distance is a huge issue depending on where you live. 

 

This post has not been active for a while, so I hope others see your post and offer you some support. 

 

I'm staying in a relationship where we are two people living separately in a house because I feel I don't have anywhere else to go and would struggle financially on my own. Maybe I would be better off by myself. I'm not brave enough to find out. Life can be confusing for people in many different ways.

 

Just want to encourage you to love and care for yourself and hopefully you will meet someone special in the future.