23 years of abuse

[Slimeee]

When you leave the abuser, the abuser enlists other to do the abuse for the. My son is 24 and wants nothing to do with me. I have been patient and loving and there have been glimmers of hope but the last few years are getting worse, he does not reply to any contact and does not acknowledge my existence or desire to connect, as his manipulator still has him convinced of how evil I am and what a perfect person she is. I have never done anything to hurt my kids, given my all, but as my son has now taken over the emotional abuse for the last 10+ years, I can't take anymore, I have tried talking, being nice, being firm but always loving, watching everything I say so it can't be used against me but nothing works, for unknown reasons to me other than, leaving and abusive marriage, (over 12 years ago) I am the target of his ongoing emotional abuse. I'd rather be hated, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, at least with hate we could argue, instead it's like I don't exist, all attempts are responded with silence - sick of being a target....

[geoff]

Hello Slimeee, as parents we try and give our children all the best love and care that's possible, but if the abuser has someone they believe can carry on where they have left off, then it does become a problem for you.

Even if you were to win tattslotto and give him a decent share of your prize, still doesn't mean he will be nice to you, there will be other problems he will create to continue on and be a problem.

You have done all you can to entice him to change his mind, with love, gestures and knowledge, but he refuses to acknowledge any of this, and although it's very sad for you that this is how he behaves, it's not you that has to alter his behaviour, it's your son that needs to realise that there are two sides to every story and if he does disagree then there are rational ways in how to express this and if he is unable to change, then it's best for you to cut ties with him, especially after 10 years of abuse.

The only time you will know when he has decided to change is when he wants to contact you for some unknown reason, like having a coffee together, until then I'm very sorry for you.

Geoff.

Life Member.