Please help with some advice :(

[Tylov12]

Hi. My 20yo son has been with his GF for roughly 9-10 mths. The gf has BPD.

my son and I used to be very close, we had the greatest relationship. But since he’s been with her he barely sees his family. Tonight the GF had a go at his younger sister, she also called my partner, myself and other children horrible names, she was asked to leave- but he left too and said he now wipes us and placed the blame on us- she always has to be with him, when they broke up very briefly she physically assaulted him. I believe he is too scared to leave.

my question is, is it normal BPD people isolate their partners from their friends and family? Thank you

[Guest_7403]

Yes it's quite normal for BPD sufferers to alienate partners from their family.

BPD individuals are quite narcissistic and have very toxic relationships.

100% your son is in an abusive relationship, he just can't see it at the moment.

Typically borderlines are quite good at playing the victim, and justifying their abusive and toxic behaviour on other people.

Usually their toxicity escalates, as borderlines typically suffer chronic fear of abandonment .....which you've already pointed out that she needs to be with him constantly.

When they feel they are losing their partner (your son) they will escalate their behaviour as there fear of being abandoned grows etc. They isolate them from family and friends to make a co dependent relationship, they make threats of self harm etc when a partner tries to leave.

This isn't saying she is a bad person, she clearly has underlying trauma and personal issues that need medical attention. But that doesn't justify the toxic behaviour.

Hopefully she gets the help she needs