Years after violent rape, dealing with the effects

[SuperMeggy]

Hi everyone,

Posted to BB a couple times now. Have always found it useful and helpful. Hoping with this post I can get some advice and feel like I’m not the only one who experiences this. Apologise if this is triggering for anyone or TMI.

As I’ve talked about before some years ago now I was brutally raped by a stranger. I’ve had an extensive journey of healing and made some great, massive steps, but struggling today because of how I’m feeling which in turn makes me frustrated. I want to move on with my life and I want to be in control. I’m wondering if anyone on here has experienced what I’m experiencing as I can’t find much research about it, it’s been years since I was raped as I’ve said but I’m really struggling with what I think is psychosomatic physical pain, resembling the pain exactly I felt while I was being attacked. It’s something that has come and gone since my attack but it hasn’t happened in quite a few months, for some reason today it’s really bad and I’m struggling to concentrate on my work as a result. It’s making me extremely upset. I shouldn’t feel this physical pain. I’m safe, I’m alone, no one is touching me and I know that, but I can’t make this pain cease. I have strategies and things I have learnt, but as of yet none seem to be effective today. Feeling lost, tired, flat, frustrated and overwhelmed

hoping someone understands what I am describing and can tell me I’m not alone in experiencing this and maybe even some tips on how to get through it, that I maybe haven’t tried or thought of. Thanks.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm replying primarily so it will push your post back up the top giving more chance for a reply.

I don't have much to contribute except to suggest that I feel anger toward such evil men and hope you know there are good guys out there.

Finally, I reckon meditation could help you. There is my favorite YouTube person c aslled Maharaji Prem Rawat.

Google

YouTube maharaji sunset

YouTube maharaji the perfect instrument

YouTube maharaji appreciate

And many more

TonyWK

[Rubybleu]

Hi Supermeggy!

Our brain is such a wonderful and horrid thing at the same time.

I didn’t have the exact same thing as you experience but it does sound similar to what I experienced when I had health anxiety a year ago. I would feel a slight twitch, get anxious about it and then my muscles would ache and twitch and feel heavy. I don’t know the exact science behind it but my body was freezing up due to the stress from anxiety but also being overloaded from the anxiety itself.

As mentioned above I would try meditation and distraction. Possibly when you feel this coming on try and get up straight away and go for a walk or do a project. Or play some guided meditation or even do some yoga if you’re in to that.

For me, my health anxiety was masking another much bigger issue and that eventually got taken over by my current depression and anxiety from CSA.

[SuperMeggy]

Hi Rubybleu. Thanks for your post, and yours TonyWK.
I’m not big on meditation and yoga, but I do try to utilise other forms of exercise to relieve stress which can sometimes help. Just feel really raw & exposed sometimes. Hard to normalise the feelings some days.