i didn't really know where else to turn too, as i am fighting this
battle 'some what' silently. i have been really opening myself to trying
to accept what happened. my brother only three years old, and was hit by
a car right in front of me, when I wa...
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i didn't really know where else to turn too, as i am fighting this
battle 'some what' silently. i have been really opening myself to trying
to accept what happened. my brother only three years old, and was hit by
a car right in front of me, when I was eight. I am now twenty three/
almost four. For a long time I blamed myself, as anyone would - but I
just have really been struggling with it. PTSD symptoms and severe
anxiety have striked me pretty hard since September 2020. My father also
died in a house fire. When I was seventeen. My family does not really
talk about the grief aspects, which makes it hard as I do not feel
comfortable going to them as they seem like they are already over it,
which when I brought up that I wrote about the events that occurred the
day of my brother accident. Mum told me to accept what happened, I was
only eight, and that it's done 'never mind' she kept repeating. Which
was hard, and good. But I feel pressure to get over it - when I feel
like I just cannot. It is so heavy, and as I saw it happen - I can STILL
see it happening. I used to have really bad flashes back to the
accident. I am currently on medication as well as awaiting to receive
counselling. I am just trying to accept it more - because I am really
going through the emotions of it all. Especially, LAST NIGHT my family
have kept a photo album of my brother, which consists of images of my
brother, dead. A little morbid. But it really took me back, as we were
around his body as a family and it was very emotional to look back on,
there was also images of him - after the accident took place. Which were
very hard to look at, but as I had forced myself to not look at them for
years, I felt really strong being able to be there, and attempt to
accept it more. But it just hurts so much. And I miss my brother, and my
dad just as much. And I am trying to find like-minded people online that
are going through remotely the same emotions, because I just feel so
alone with it sometimes. A lot of stress and pressure, and I am quite
reserved with it all, so if you have read this through to the end - I
appreciate it, and any advice you want to share or experiences you feel
would benefit my strain and ability to cope - please. thanks, dragon d.
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
