PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Centaured What I deserved
  • replies: 5

There's stuff I've never told people before. I hate them, my family..but I feel guilty for being angry at them and tbh I don't blame them. I feel like I deserved what they did to me. My dad...he was sick, it wasn't his fault. Sometimes I wonder what ... View more

There's stuff I've never told people before. I hate them, my family..but I feel guilty for being angry at them and tbh I don't blame them. I feel like I deserved what they did to me. My dad...he was sick, it wasn't his fault. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if his tumour killed him instead of leaving him brain damaged. He was there growing up...but yet he wasn't. He was so absent he didn't even know the sexual abuse that happened in his very house. That leads to my brother...the perpetrator...what person does that to their sibling. He would say it was a game. I was his toy to use. It's left me scarred, I feel like I deserve nothing better than to be used by others. And my mum...she ran away (with another guy). and I blamed myself, especially because she would say I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for anyone. My extended family...I don't know them. When I grew up and became unwell no cared. Barely anyone even sent a message when I became permanently disabled after a suicide attempt last year. They all say they love me....is this what love is, to be neglected, used, discarded and abandoned. I don't want to feel angry or sad about it...it's what I deserved, what I'll ever deserve. Maybe they're right...maybe I shouldnt be here anymore.

Jane-w Was this sexual assault? 
  • replies: 2

I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 3rd date he came back to my flat. I agreed to consensual protected sex. Out of nowhere, he hurt me. He didn't ask for consent. I was really scared. He then asked it if was ok, I was so scared and in shock I kin... View more

I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 3rd date he came back to my flat. I agreed to consensual protected sex. Out of nowhere, he hurt me. He didn't ask for consent. I was really scared. He then asked it if was ok, I was so scared and in shock I kind of mumbled yes. Then he hurt me again. I gasped and he said sorry. Was this sexual assault?

G12345 Humiliated
  • replies: 15

I feel emotionally humiliated because of my history of sexual abuse and I sometimes feel like I deserved what happened to me as an innocent child why I wasn't believed is why I blame i don't understand what I did to deserve a life where I don't feel ... View more

I feel emotionally humiliated because of my history of sexual abuse and I sometimes feel like I deserved what happened to me as an innocent child why I wasn't believed is why I blame i don't understand what I did to deserve a life where I don't feel free can anybody relate.

Lost4ever Human rights/ child abuse in sport
  • replies: 2

Does anyone have any advice of help to offer for survivors of child abuse. Currently being investigated through Australian human rights commission? Not every person wants to tell there story and just be another number, so where do we go from here?

Does anyone have any advice of help to offer for survivors of child abuse. Currently being investigated through Australian human rights commission? Not every person wants to tell there story and just be another number, so where do we go from here?

b_abbey trouble after divulging to my parents **trigger warning - sexual abuse**
  • replies: 21

Hi there. Thanks for looking. I have a problem with my family since I divulged I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 10-12ys old. He is 5 years my senior. Another girl, who lived near us growing up - came forward & said she was abused by him... View more

Hi there. Thanks for looking. I have a problem with my family since I divulged I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 10-12ys old. He is 5 years my senior. Another girl, who lived near us growing up - came forward & said she was abused by him, & when my parents told me she came forward - I took the opportunity to say "me too". At first I thought the response was quite good. My mother said "I'm sorry that happened to you" and my father was absolutely mortified. As time has moved on (3 years since I told them) I have tried to broach the subject & these comments were the responses (yes - I practically remember word for word): (1) This is very embarrassing for the family, please don't tell anyone (2) let's bury this in the back yard shall we? (2) we think you might have "false memories" (3) you are torturing us. You didn't tell us - so whose fault is that?! We would have done something if you had of told us! (angry tone) (4) & finally, just a couple of months ago "just get over it!!" in a very hostile tone - both of them said it twice & then they hung up on me, so we haven't spoken since So I bought it up with them those 4 times in the last 3 years. Obviously they are finding it difficult to handle. I was hoping they would help me heal - yet it's not going as planned! Was I expecting too much? I feel like I want to cut ties because perhaps they care more about their reputation, than their child's wellbeing, and then I consider well - I have damaged their wellbeing. And then I consider - only one person is at fault here, which is NOT me! I do wish I had never told them now. I do feel -not speaking up- is not exactly the best course of action either - and I'm worried he has done this to more survivors. I feel they are blaming me, or they just don't want to know. It doesn't help that the abuser is now a dr & he was the golden child, and he lives close to them & is in their ear suggesting this "false memory syndrome" They don't believe he abused the other girl in my street - so that's 2 of us they say they don't believe? On another occasion he was caught peering through a window at myself and another kid when we were in the bath when we were in 5th class. But I have no idea if he got into trouble for that or not - I think my mother just didn't tell my father Any advice? thanks for listening

Slipperyfish Coping with anniversaries.
  • replies: 2

Hi Just after some advice on how to deal with anniversaries as they come around. It’s 3 years tomorrow since I was sexually assaulted and over the past weeks my stress and anxiety has been taking over. I also keep dissociating and am having really ho... View more

Hi Just after some advice on how to deal with anniversaries as they come around. It’s 3 years tomorrow since I was sexually assaulted and over the past weeks my stress and anxiety has been taking over. I also keep dissociating and am having really horrid body memories and flash backs. So I don’t like to sleep either. I know I have many tools I can use to try and get through this time safely, but once I’m upset I find it hard to remember anything I’ve learned. I feel a bit like going insane. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Frenchy89 Alone depressed confused greaving
  • replies: 4

I met the mother of my children at age 23 and was with her for 7 years. We have 3 kids together. The last pregnancy she became very nasty towards me and also very sexually promiscuous. I was working 12 hour days and she was seeing another man on the ... View more

I met the mother of my children at age 23 and was with her for 7 years. We have 3 kids together. The last pregnancy she became very nasty towards me and also very sexually promiscuous. I was working 12 hour days and she was seeing another man on the side. I still stayed with her and two months later my baby boy was born and he was absolutely perfect in every way. Mum had complications with the cesarean and got sepsis. I took time off work and cared for our newborn while she got better. 2 months after our sons birth she seeing this other guy again and even introduced him to our children while I was at work. I was tired and stressed and heartbroken and I moved out to show her I'm not going to put up with her crap. She moved interstate a week later and got an AVO against me so she didn't need my consent moving the kids interstate. 3 months after she left I get a very distressing phone call from the hospital telling me my that my baby boy was found with severe head trauma and his heart had stopped. there was a 75% chance he is going to pass. The cause was mum got with yet another guy and left my baby boy alone with this monster. My baby was upset and was crying so this creature hurt him. When I walked in to the ICU he was unrecognisable and was on life support. I was told all he will ever be is lungs breathing and a heart beating. 6 months has passed and he is still with us but extremely disabled. The kids were taken off their mother and because she mentioned drugs in the AVO(iv been clean for 7 years) they weren't brought back to me either. They are temporarily in the care of the grandparents but all 3 will be moved to a foster home soon. Child protection services told me i couldn't cope caring for my son his needs are to high. This has really broke me. Some days the waves of emotions I feel when I think of what my baby went through is torture. Several times now iv passed a mother pushing a newborn in the supermarket or down the street and I just burst into tears. I don't have any family for support and have been trying to get through this on my own. I don't know if helps talking about it or it just makes it worse.

Naturescalling24 Angry or something else
  • replies: 1

When I little my family and me moved up north Byron I can’t remember where exactly old man left me at the hotel they getting food mid day so I went for a walk I but I got restless I got lost for hours didn’t no where I was found what looked like my d... View more

When I little my family and me moved up north Byron I can’t remember where exactly old man left me at the hotel they getting food mid day so I went for a walk I but I got restless I got lost for hours didn’t no where I was found what looked like my dad same cap shirt sunglasses but it wasn’t walking down this alley he tried to grab me but I ran and ran I forgot it but remember it after a join a few years back I haven’t been able to get those hands out of my mind I’ve been doing fitness gym mma but I feel so hopeless because of that and what happened in school it’s so messed up my folks think I’m gay because they never seen my with a girl that I’ve just stopped feeling all is now anger sad and sleepy lost everything no friends dreams just became a zombie every time I sleep i c blood or something horrible that’s why I don’t sleep until I pass out I wanted to vent thanks it’s been a bad day

PumpkinPie Anger issues and PTSD
  • replies: 4

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD in 2014. He was slowly getting better and easier to live with. He had a car accident in March this year which triggered it again. Does anyone know if the terrible anger ever goes? I am sick of him yelling ,swearing ... View more

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD in 2014. He was slowly getting better and easier to live with. He had a car accident in March this year which triggered it again. Does anyone know if the terrible anger ever goes? I am sick of him yelling ,swearing at people he doesnt even know and yelling abuse at people on the TV if he doesnt agree with their opinion. His counselor says he is better and doesnt have any anger issues.

mrmonaro Hi
  • replies: 4

I only just joined and had no idea what to say or were to start. I went to a psychologist years ago and was diagnosed with extreme PTSD due to a lot of things I saw and did while on serving nearly 30 years ago. I also had a rather interesting childho... View more

I only just joined and had no idea what to say or were to start. I went to a psychologist years ago and was diagnosed with extreme PTSD due to a lot of things I saw and did while on serving nearly 30 years ago. I also had a rather interesting childhood with an abusive alcoholic step father who did things that I cannot describe here. I never went back to the psychologist because I was afraid he would have me locked up in a mental ward of some sort. So for the last few decades I have been trying to treat and control this myself. You would be amazed at how well I have been able to hide my condition. My wife knows but like me she is powerless to help. She is though always there for me and that has gotten me through a lot of "situations". Its nice to think that there are services available and what not but what services don't involve me getting the sack from work for being mentally unstable? I start every day wanting to end it all and by the end of each day I find I'm too gutless to go through with it which then makes me want to plan out my demise for the next day and so on. On the one hand I know there is help available but even one day off could see me out of work and then my wife has the burden of having to work longer hours just to keep us fed and housed. My condition is not hers to bare. I want to describe the daily things that I go through but its no different to whats millions of other people go through and have already spoken about so I will spare you all that BS. I'm not sure what else to say or what I even wanted from this post to be honest.