PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

romantic_thi3f Coping with Christmas when things aren't jolly?
  • replies: 7

Hi, I couldn't seem to find a post like this so I thought I'd make my own. Christmas is a time for a lot of families to get together and a lot of gift giving and happiness- but I don't really have that, and I'm hoping I'm not alone in it. To stay ano... View more

Hi, I couldn't seem to find a post like this so I thought I'd make my own. Christmas is a time for a lot of families to get together and a lot of gift giving and happiness- but I don't really have that, and I'm hoping I'm not alone in it. To stay anonymous here I'm not going to give much detail but basically every year I go and see them as family tradition. Breaking that tradition is going to cause more harm than good even though I've thought about that a lot. They live further away so it's not really possible for me to leave early either, and I can't afford to stay at a motel - so I end up staying overnight with them. It flairs up my trauma like no tomorrow and there's no real gap in between so it's so hard to stay grounded. I also tend to forget that I'm kind of an adult now and I end up feeling like I'm back there again. I'm in therapy too but it feels like all of that goes out the window. I might be logically in a better place (because I don't live there anymore), but it's almost like I forget everything. Does anyone have any coping strategies? While it's still a couple of weeks away the anticipation of it all is so painful right now. Thank you rt

Haylzz missing mum during this holiday season
  • replies: 3

Hi, my brother, dad and i witnessed my mum have a brain aneurysm a month ago which was absolutely terrifying to see my mum in such a state of health as before she was a healthy woman. This trauma extended to seeing her with tubes and machines in the ... View more

Hi, my brother, dad and i witnessed my mum have a brain aneurysm a month ago which was absolutely terrifying to see my mum in such a state of health as before she was a healthy woman. This trauma extended to seeing her with tubes and machines in the icu for a week. She is now progressing very well with her rehab but it is just completely changed my families life as we are trying to adapt as it would take her a long time to hopefully get back to normal again. But it's just sometimes i try to do the little things like cooking dinner that just make me miss her even more because thats the stuff she usually does and was going to teach me now that i have finished school. things like cooking dinner also sometimes bring me back to the moment where my brother and i found her in her condition 4 weeks ago because we found her in the family room across the kitchen. Ive tried strategies to help me cope like even looking for psychologists but there a 4-6 months waiting list due to covid (which is understandable) so if anyone has any other strategies or ideas that can help me adapt to such trauma or talk about it then it would be very helpful

Rosie321 New to C-PTSD and learning to cope *Trigger warning: Self harm*
  • replies: 3

Hello, I am quite new to C-PTSD, I was officially diagnosed 4 months ago. In that time I've spent a week on a psych ward and a month at a Step up Step Down/mental health rehab accommodation. I've also weaned off a medication I've been on for the last... View more

Hello, I am quite new to C-PTSD, I was officially diagnosed 4 months ago. In that time I've spent a week on a psych ward and a month at a Step up Step Down/mental health rehab accommodation. I've also weaned off a medication I've been on for the last 15 years, under the guidance of the hospital Psychiatrist. I had quite a traumatic discharge experience from the mental health rehab two months ago and things have spiralled since then. In this time I've also been assaulted and gone to police over an indecent assault but neither had enough evidence to charge. I feel I have exhausted the mental health system and have given up hope of any recovery by utilising it. My counsellor had told me it's not a good system to have to rely on and now I can see why. Especially being in a rural city, I went to school with half the nurses in ER and I am over having my issues spread around publicly by going into the tiny ER. I was sectioned and my abuser found out about it because there was someone in ER he knew. He then used this as evidence that I'm crazy and to further degrade my self esteem. I have found self harm is helping as is casual sex where I don't know the person and they don't know anything about me or what I'm going through, I can pretend I'm not unwell for a few hours. I have PMDD and will be getting symptoms this week. I don't want to go to the ward. Does anyone else have any coping mechanisms I can use at home during this time? Thankyou for reading this far

Anna_L EMDR & Neurofeedback for PTSD / Childhood Sexual Abuse - Tic Disorder - anyone tried this?
  • replies: 4

Hi guys, Long story short, when I finally told my family about my childhood sexual abuse from a family relative at the age of 24, which unravelled a bunch of negative/seriously stressful outcomes and a few weeks on, my top right lip (and right lip an... View more

Hi guys, Long story short, when I finally told my family about my childhood sexual abuse from a family relative at the age of 24, which unravelled a bunch of negative/seriously stressful outcomes and a few weeks on, my top right lip (and right lip and right eye) started to twitch and spasm. This was 5 years ago (and many tests/therapies later) and since then the spasm has moved into my neck and back and now foot (with pain from the tightness/spasm!)....dystonia, tourettes...who knows. The spasms also come with a feeling of intense panic and chest tightness. I've recently tried EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) for past trauma which has helped me cognitively reframe memories with new empowering narratives however the tic/spasm is still there (pain with this is the biggest issue). Next week I have my first Neurofeedback session which I'm pretty hopeful about. I definitely have issues focusing and regulating mood/emotions so am hoping this will help to calm the nervous system and therefore help to resolve the tic...maybe. To note, I also had seizures as a child which I now know are related to the trauma. Does anyone have similar issues with facial pain/tics? Has anyone tried neurofeedback for PTSD / tics and if so, have you seen any benefit? I'm also looking to document this experience so let me know if you have any questions! Thanks, A

Anzee Looking for some online reading
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I suffered childhood sexual abuse and have been working with a psychologist for around 7 months and she is great but is having four weeks off over Xmas. I did a few sessions with CASA (centre against sexual assault) but they said I wasn’t in ... View more

Hi all, I suffered childhood sexual abuse and have been working with a psychologist for around 7 months and she is great but is having four weeks off over Xmas. I did a few sessions with CASA (centre against sexual assault) but they said I wasn’t in a safe place in my relationship to continue with them at the moment. It has been put to my attention by quite a few professionals that my partner can be abusive, particularly emotional/ verbal. I have been in and out of denial about it for a while but I am starting to accept some of his behaviours aren’t ok. The thing is though I think a lot of it does stem from my history of abuse especially sexual and that is one of the main areas I suffer in our relationship. He puts a lot of pressure on me to regularly be intimate even after I have been triggered and if I said no he was so grumpy to the kids and I and yelling at us for the smallest things so I would just give into him to try and keep everyone happy BUT after a long journey he is slowly accepting that him putting that pressure on me isn’t fair and he is trying not to be as forceful and dominating but I still feel that obligation to satisfy and give into his sexual needs and I’m wondering if I can find a good link connecting that to my childhood abuse (I have never had a healthy sexual relationship, I almost feel like I need to go back to the start and learn what healthy and safe sex is. Any ideas or tips on finding ways to 1. Get rid of that guilt and obligation I feel about giving into my partners needs 2. The effects of childhood sexual abuse on an adults sexuality and relationships and 3. Learning what a healthy sexual relationship looks like.

AnonymousID Still trying to understand what to call it
  • replies: 5

I am still having troubles understanding my childhood trauma and I find that I can't talk about it to anyone because I don't know what to call it or whether I should be so ashamed of my involvement in it that I shouldn't tell anyone to avoid judgment... View more

I am still having troubles understanding my childhood trauma and I find that I can't talk about it to anyone because I don't know what to call it or whether I should be so ashamed of my involvement in it that I shouldn't tell anyone to avoid judgment. i was very very young when I had my first sexual experiences. I was asked to do some pretty disgusting things at a young age before I knew what they were or what they meant. The kid or asked me to do it was my age so idk if I can get angry at them because they got the knowledge of how to do that stuff from somewhere. But I do get angry and physically assault them in my dreams. I get so angry at them and then I get so angry at myself for going along with it and doing what I did. Besides getting bad dreams it's really messed with my sex life. I haven't had sex since I remembered this suppressed memory 7 years ago. It just all seems so disgusting now. I even remember an instance where someone saw and told me I was disgusting. And then I also feel bad about myself for being able to forget it for so long. Can I call it sexual assault or what? Who do I get angry at? Who's fault is it?

PinkFeather Dehumanising experience at doctors
  • replies: 3

Today I drove 3 hours to the doctors to get my psych re-evalutation. I am falling apart. It's official, I'm experiencing anxiety at unprecedented levels. To get there wasn't easy. You see I had to travel with my husband whom I'm on the brink of break... View more

Today I drove 3 hours to the doctors to get my psych re-evalutation. I am falling apart. It's official, I'm experiencing anxiety at unprecedented levels. To get there wasn't easy. You see I had to travel with my husband whom I'm on the brink of breaking up with...the icing upon so much trauma it doesn't even bear thinking about. The necessity for this second dr's trip was because the first time, said husband had a melt-down and punched a car in the street... all before my all important dr's appoint. Yes, I felt I had been purposely derailed. Needless to say, I'm a blithering mess at the appointment and the dr gives me meds and walks me to reception to make the next appointment. Next appointment (today) I arrive and they've changed dr's on me, and as he isn't my normal dr, said he couldn't give me a psych assessement so I can get a referral for some much needed help. Again I'm a blithering mess with this unknown dr today, who instead of apologising to me, just rings the receptionist and blasts her instead. Between tears I explain it's a 6 hour round trip and I don't have my own transport. On a positive note the meds are starting to help; they make me feel vulnerable thinking that I need to rely on them, so I was stubborn to seek help again on this front. They are working and I'm glad that I did. Love and blessings to you all.

BOC64 Christmas trauma
  • replies: 11

Hi I know for some people this is a great time of year but for me that is not the case. For me it is not as it trigger for my PTSD and although hate is a strong word it is the only word I can think of. Growing up it was just an excuse for the men (fa... View more

Hi I know for some people this is a great time of year but for me that is not the case. For me it is not as it trigger for my PTSD and although hate is a strong word it is the only word I can think of. Growing up it was just an excuse for the men (fathers family) to get drunk and treat the women as second class citizens. The men drank and the women work and there were often fights and jealousy between brothers, sisters and cousins. As the eldest grandchild there was an expectation on me that due to constant physical abuse I could not cope with. I will be with my mum, stepfather and a friendly uncle this year but unfortunately my stepfather is extremely jealous of anyone who spends time with mum especially me. He is belittling and emotionally abusive and although I am better at not letting it get to me it does from time to time. In fact a few years ago I was so close to lashing out but I didn't and for that I am very proud of myself. He once said to me "there is someone in MY house I wish wasn't here" obviously meaning me. Unfortunately that is the price I have to pay to see my mum. I know she wants out but due to his health and age she feels an obligation. To those of you that enjoy this time of year "Merry Christmas"

Mina19 Severe anxiety and ptsd symptoms
  • replies: 3

Hi people, im 21 now when I was 16 I experienced a really horrible trauma, a man I trusted for many years exposed himself. This man did this to other girls my age to and he went to jail. Since this event I began to develop severe anxiety, ptsd, panic... View more

Hi people, im 21 now when I was 16 I experienced a really horrible trauma, a man I trusted for many years exposed himself. This man did this to other girls my age to and he went to jail. Since this event I began to develop severe anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks and health anxiety and a host of physical symptoms especially my digestive system. My psychologist and doctor said it’s like I’ve held onto the trauma so long that it’s inflamed my intestines. One day it can be no symptoms and other days like loose stools, mucus and gas (sorry to much info) and I just don’t know why this trauma has still got a hold of me after all these years. Before this happened to me I was totally fine but now I’m constantly on edge, panicky and a host of physical symptoms that make me feel what if I’m dying. I feel so stupid and scared. There’s so much more I could say but my post would go on and on. I’m sorry for posting so much but I’m so scared I’m going to die of this ptsd.

Alexlisa Worried about seeing my parents over Christmas
  • replies: 3

I’m really worried about Christmas. There’s been some things that have come up recently that have reminded me of how my parents treated me growing up. Not well. I’m 40 now and as an adult I’ve always tried to keep the peace and be forgiving. We have ... View more

I’m really worried about Christmas. There’s been some things that have come up recently that have reminded me of how my parents treated me growing up. Not well. I’m 40 now and as an adult I’ve always tried to keep the peace and be forgiving. We have a pleasant enough relationship these days. But they’ve never acknowledged any of what happened and I often wonder if they have any regrets or have just minimised it in their minds. I’ve worked on it a lot with my psychologist over the years, but the cPTSD never really goes away. Anyway, it’s all felt very raw for me lately and I don’t want to see or speak to them at the moment. Bad timing right. I feel angry and sad and like I just can’t put on a happy mask with them right now. But I’m also scared to rock the boat (I’m scared of any confrontation because it never went well growing up) and feel guilty for possibly making my mum feel bad. It’s so messed up in my head right now.