Woman struggling to make friends with other women

[Mitty]

My history involves alot of issues with trusting men, but unfortunately it also includes women too. 

Recently I've been really feeling quite lonely and yearning for connection with other women, or people who share a common collective of experiences that label us as such. 

I want to reach out but I feel like I just end up gushing way too much and being super intense and needy. I also find it hard to relate to how other women are. They seem somewhat foreign to me, yet I want to be a part of it all. I don't want to be a 'cool hip contrarian.' I just want a sense of belonging.  

1. Do other women here relate to this? 

[Alyssia]

Definitely relate. 10000% relate. I am in the exact same position. I dont trust men but find it so hard to befriend women so I end up with my only friends being distant male friends who I cant trust and always feel suspicious and even scared of. 
I always feel way more intimidated by women and a whole heap of anxiety and stress around them. I think ot comes from wanting them to like me but also from growing up with a mother who hated other women and always saw them as competition and never had anything nice to say about them. 

its terrible because I love women, I want to have lots of friends who are women, but it feels so hard and impossible. I always feel like I am below every other woman, the thing you said about it feeling foreign resonates with me so much I could never put a word to the feeling.  I haven’t had any real friends in 10 years because of this and its so isolating.

[Guest_34408358]

 I can completely relate to what you have discussed. I also feel like I can’t trust men as my ex husband was a liar and had cheated on me and walked out on me and my children. Ive even had bad experiences trusting women as I have a fear they will never like me or except me in there friends circles…I also feel I will never fit in anywhere. I feel I have such high anxiety and I am scared of being rejected when communicating and trying to build relationships with other females as I’ve been hurt and used by women that I had thought were my friends but they’ve just used me for money and when they need something, which has caused me to isolate myself out of fear….i really wish I had more confidence to make more female friends, as I get older I feel more lonelier. 

[randomxx]

Male here but just wanted to chime in as my daughter early 20s has had what's usually wound up nightmare friendships with women, they've hurt her sooooo much in such terrible ways. ldk wth it takes or how the female friendship works they seem to operate in totally different ways to us fellas so it's been near impossible to offer much help when situations have happened. They're so prickly and will turn in a second/

l also don't know wth she does to deserve any of it she's very smart she's got a heart of gold - think that's the problem actually they don't seem to be able to be trusted with kind hearts. l've started to wish she was harder and tougher, a little bit bitchy too,  just for her own good.

She grew up with great friends through school really nice girls, seems that all goes out the window later, ldk. Can't figure it out.

Sooo, could well understand anyone having problems.

rx

[Narelle]

Hi Mitty

i am a woman and l be happy if you wanted to talk. I am a strong believer that everyone deserves to have someone they can talk to. No pressure but the option is there even if it’s just about being able to offload some of your thoughts to clear your mind. 

[GimZim]

I struggle a lot making friends with other women, I think I over share and get too intense and attached too early, it's something I've struggled with.