Really need advice

[Moving forward happy]

Before I dated my partner he has a pretty bad past, drug addiction, jail time and all that kind of stuff. He has come along way in dealing with this but he recently told me about an incident that happened to him as a child with an older male figure who touched him inappropriately on many occasions. While talking about this he became really emotional and I could tell that it brought up a lot of feelings he didn’t want to be feeling. The week that followed was a nightmare, he was gambling excessively and just being out of character, self sabotaging everything. Almost like he was doing things to block out what had been brought up?? Maybe?? Things have settled down again but a few days ago his brother posted something online revealing that the same thing had happened to him. My partner doesn’t know what if anything he should say to his brother, but I feel it would help him to know he isn’t alone in this. I want to help my partner deal with this , because I think it has impacted his life so negatively for his entire life, but I’m unsure what to say or how to handle this or what advice to offer. Does anyone have anything that can help? 

[Croix]

Dear MFH~

Welcome back ot the Forum. I'm sorry to hear yo are in such a difficult position. You want to help your partner who feels deeply about what has happened and you are unsure what to do.

It may not be that things are as straightforward as you might assume. As an example the relationship between your partner and his brother may include an element of blame even though they had similar experiences.

I'm not saying this is the case, , it was just an example of something that might be unexpected..

If you feel it will work out OK why not talk ot your partner and see what he says, he may have very strong views on the subject.

If you want advice from an organization that is expert in adults wiht a history of abuse when younger you might want ot contact the Blue Knot Foundation, who have information, advice and some counceling

I think the fact your partner told you about this shows a great deal of trust and confidence in your  love

As oyu too are going though a difficult and worrying time might I ask you what support you have? Is there anyone, family or friend, you can talk with? They do not have to 'fix' things, just listen and care

You know you are welcome here anytime

Croix

[Moving forward happy]

Thank you for responding and for asking if I’m okay, tbh this is why whenever I have a problem I come here first. Everyone is so sincere in wanting to help and always has such great advice. I work in community services and am always faced with peoples problems and I love to help, but when the matters are so close to home I tend to lose a bit of perspective and need guidance. It is such a difficult situation but I will definately reach out to the blue knot foundation. Thank you again for responding.