What to do when all options seem to not fit?

[Guest_60785963]

context: Total isolation, no friends, no family communication. No desire really to do anything, no motivation, no goals, no dream job, do not like talking or engaging with people at all. (Diagnosed GAD/OCD/PTSD)

 Anytime I've engaged with therapy or support workers it's like they expect me to open up, but there's nothing inside to open up about and anything that would be important to maybe talk about I am completely unwilling to divulge as I have history of personal info being used against me, particularly by businesses/government. Also there's this thing where they can report you and get your drivers license taken away as well if they believe your condition affects your ability to drive, meaning I'm risking my life attending, as I have no access to a kitchen and rely on a vehicle for my 1 daily meal. Not to mention forced hospitalization fears from my OCD

So this idea that I can just "be honest" is to me a complete lie. They want people to open up but then they can hit them with repercussions for doing so. Meaning therapy or any semblance of "healing" seems impossible to me logically. If I want to avoid being punished by society, I'm better of living as I currently am, doing completely nothing all day slowly dying. I have one goal technically but it's not a goal as most people think, it's literally just get DSP unlimited portability and leave the country. But how do you tell someone thats your motivation. They'll be like "well he clearly doesn't want to get back to work he just wants a holiday". I've heard it all before and I expect it all again but yeah. I don't really expect many helpful responses to this, but I just thought I'd give something a go.

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

As you are totally anonymous here you can say what you like and it will have no repercussions.

It is very understandable you do not want to open up, I have roughly the same diagnosis and never did open up about some things for very many years.  You are right, there is a power imbalance, and anything you say may lead a professional to think you need hospitalization, or medication or limits on activities.

So why give them ammunition? They may not have the full picture or may not realize the  consequences of their  actions.

I found that it was possible to be frank, but it did not come straight away, it took years and came about becuse I had formed a relationship with my psychiatrist where there was trust, and I'd formed an opinion of what he would do in certain situations. I told hm about my suicidal thoughts and attempts, and he did not hit the panic button, but simply kept on as before.

The only difference was there was now a new topic to address as well as the PTSD etc.  Opening up allows for treatment by skilled clinicians for the specific issues, which is certainly good, it very much helped me.

Hopefully you will be in the same situation in time, and reap the benefits of appropriate treatment.

As for portable DSP I'm not sure, certainly an Australian benefit may go a bit further in some other countries however I'm not certain the disadvantages of no Medicare and an alien culture would balance that out.

I'm certain it is not because you 'want a holiday' , simply your current circumstances sound horrible and you'd like to go somewhere better.

Croix

[ViolettaZ]

Hi there,

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with all of that. What you described sounds incredibly isolating and exhausting. I can understand why you’d feel cautious about systems like therapy or government services, especially if you’ve had experiences where your personal information was used against you. If you don’t mind me asking, which government services were those experiences with? Because there are some government services that might help ease some of the pressure right now. Like the Disability Support Pension, the National Disability Insurance Scheme, or the JobSeeker Payment. Of course, it’s completely your choice, but if you ever felt comfortable, even just reading the information on the Services Australia website or asking anonymously could be a very small first step.

You mentioned that you don’t really have friends at the moment. I was wondering if you might be open to starting with something small, like a simple community activity. Sometimes regular meet-ups or local groups can make it a bit easier to gradually meet people and build some social connections, without too much pressure.

It’s worth speaking up, and there are many people in this community who care about your situation：）

Warm regards🤗

ViolettaZ

[smallwolf]

Just to add to what some of the other posters have said... it sounds like you’ve had some really difficult experiences with therapy and support services in the past. Given what you described, it’s understandable you would be hesitant about opening up or trusting people in those settings.

At the same time, you did come here and share a little about what you’re going through. That takes some effort. So part of me wonders if there might be something you wanted to say or be heard about, even if it’s only a small part of the picture.

You don’t have to share anything you’re not comfortable with...  but if you feel like it, you could share a bit more about yourself? Listening...

[Scared]

I get it.

I cannot tell people how I really feel either.  If I do they call police and take me to hospital.  So yeh I get it.

So I dont tell them anything.

But I was lucky to find a psych nurse who visits once every 2 weeks.

I can tell her how I feel but we have an understanding.  I asked her why she not call police and hospital and she said because I know we have that understanding that I will go hospital myself if it got that bad.

Last time police came it was the reception at Dr office dobbed me in.

I wasnt happy.

Let me tell you about DSP portability and living o/s and I know someone who is doing that right now in Cambodia.

Cambodia is really your only option as its the only visa you will get and cheap enough to scratch by a living.

But Cambodia is not the place to go if you have mental health issues. It will become your nightmare as its not paradise the way you think escape is.

The problems you have now will be nothing compared to the problems you will get there.  Its fair to say think of how your life is now then think what its like to be without everything that you have now and sicker. Asia makes problems worse not better. Its a master of exposing every problem you have and multiplying it.

I know because Im an expat from Thailand.  I lived your dream and its no dream.  SE Asia is fantastic place to visit and fantastic place to live if your wealthy enough and well enough.  Cambodian people are beautiful but the romance will wear off very fast.  If you get sick there then you have to die there.  No one will give you medicine or help you with no money.  Im on DSP and I cant go back to Thailand because my mental health.

So I think its time you got serious about a plan to get out of this place your in.

GOAL CHANGE...  You need to go to Cambodia or Thailand but as a tourist first.  The good news is that its really a thing you can do.  Start small pick up some work just easy stuff at first to get used to some work even if it only 2 days a week.  Look online and study your destination and dream about it and get hungry for it.  All the things you will do when you get there.  As you get stronger take on a bit more work and keep your holiday in your mind as that is the only thing that matters to you.  This will change your life and its not going to take years either.  There is no reason why you cant be exploring Bangkok or Angor wat in Cambodia by end of the year.  You wont qualify for dsp if they havnt already offered as its really hard to get.  I was that sick I couldnt even drive at least you can do that.  The fact is simple.  I know mental illness and man its hard.  But getting to Thailand is possible and I mean that or I would not spend my energy writing to you.

And if you can get there and do that then your health is going to change even before you get there.  And the ladies are so beautiful and friendly you will be in heaven and deserve to be.

Start today on a plan and destination and post your adventure please I will be waiting for it.