TW: rape

[PleaseHelp23903]

Um.. I dont really know how to start this..

I'm 17, grade 11 doing pretty well academically and have two casual jobs. My family is a little confusing but they're all trying to support me. My mum is a lunatic but she's getting help. Her husband is kind but tough and I struggle with accepting him as family. My dad and step mum are loving but they don't fully understand whats going on, they try tho.

Over the years mums had 5 husbands and 484359873452554098509 boyfriends. From the ages of 8 till I was 12, 4 of them raped and sexually assaulted me. I have sleep paralysis about it now, have since February last year.

When my girlfriend and I get sexual if she touches certain places even accidentally I get scared and start crying and shaking and freaking out and.. i don't know how to cope anymore,,

I've told my step mum about it, my girlfriend and my ex who went through and is still going through the same thing but nothing helps..

I'm on meds for the sleep paralysis but it doesn't do anything..

[Sophie_M]

Welcome PleaseHelp23903, Thank you for reaching out here tonight. We understand that opening up about trauma is not easy - thank you for having the courage. We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through. It sounds like you have been trying to cope with quite a lot for such a young person and we think you are so strong. Can we ask if you have received any professional support for coping with this trauma? Please know that there is support available - and we would urge that you also let your ex know about these supports.

We would strongly urge that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to support to people who have been through trauma like this. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or https://www.1800respect.org.au/   If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. 

  For experts in childhood trauma, you can also speak with a Blue Knot Helpline trauma counsellor including for support and applications around national redress - 1300 657 380 Monday - Sunday between 9am - 5pm AEST - https://www.blueknot.org.au/ We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums. Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome. I think that Sophie_M has provided all the information and links you would want. I just want to acknowledge the courage and strength you have in posting part of your story here. I hope you are able to get some sort of help for the issues you have raised in the your post and if it help you to write here also, I will listen to your story