Troubled by recent social change

[Eagle Ray]

TW - Possibly Trauma Activating Content

I’m visiting my home city of Perth. I went to get some dinner in the central city early this evening and realised a group of police officers were going past me in body armour, some carrying hi tech automatic rifles. I have never seen that before in this city. It was like something out of a movie and seemed unreal. I’ve been reading online this evening of others seeing the same thing across Perth in recent weeks, including at markets in the park by the beach near where I grew up and the shopping centre we used to go to. Basically a heavily armed presence has become normalised since the awful event at Bondi. Then when I arrived here on Monday I got off the train and I was redirected by police after an improvised explosive device was thrown into a crowd of people but fortunately didn’t detonate. I am seeing things I never expected to see.

The reason it’s especially affecting me is I’m dealing with complex ptsd and already processing flashbacks and really disturbing material coming up from my past. I’m already trauma activated a lot of the time and so it’s really impacting me. Added to that are feelings of grief about the loss of what now seems a more innocent time. Even my safe places where I would go to escape as a child, such as my favourite ocean spot in Perth, is being patrolled by heavily armed officers.

Tomorrow I return to my town where I also feel unsafe and have been subject to social bullying for some time now. I’m dreading going back there but can’t sense anywhere else safe either. I guess my bearings are lost at the moment. What I have to hang onto is a great concert I went to that had such positive energy and lovely friends I caught up with while here. I’m trying to maintain a connection to the good in the world.

Is anyone else feeling really lost like this? Has anything helped you find a sense of stability and normality in it all? My internal world is harrowing enough on a daily and nightly basis, but the external world is also feeling threatening in new and strange ways. I guess I just want to feel something safe and familiar.

[Shell4]

Hello dear ER, I have no advice or anything. But wanted to let you know I am listening here in hope that you feel heard and less alone in this 

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you very much dear Guest_10158. I really appreciate your kind thoughts.

I was reading other people’s thoughts about seeing the heavily armed police, and some people think it’s a good thing and feel safer for it. Other people talk about feeling disturbed by it because they’ve never seen a police presence like that before, especially at ordinary things like a regular local market in a park where families go to have a relaxing time. It’s just very strange.

I think I’m feeling it more because I have dissociative identity disorder, and when my system becomes activated by external triggers, fear pushes a particular alter/part to the front, very often my nine year old part. So I am suddenly in the mind of a terrified child and completely overwhelmed. Because of past trauma issues, she just freezes and dissociates. The smallest thing can cause this to happen. I think just seeing one officer in particular just appear in front of me with a machine gun literally a metre away just threw me and my sense of reality into a kind of shock response, and for me the reaction goes back to very early trauma experiences that my system is currently trying really hard to process. There’s a lot of fear coming to the surface already, so having external signs of a fearful world where police patrol with major weapons just intensifies my reactions and dissociation.

Finally last night around 10pm my system felt some release. It can often take 24 hours or more before the effect of a trigger starts subsiding. I am back in my town now where at least it’s peaceful and there’s no heavily armed police walking around. I think in these times we have to orient to love, kindness, friendliness and care, all the things that support feelings of safety, security and peace, in order to counter the disturbing things happening in the world.

It’s so quiet here anyway with just the sounds of birds and beautiful morning sunlight. It’s still early here in WA and I’m having a nice cup of tea.

May everyone have a peaceful day 🙏

[Daydreamer70]

Hi Eagle Ray, 

Thank you for writing in. I'm really glad you have shared your experience on here, when I was reading it I honestly reasonated so much. I do not experience any PTSD/trauma, but I do have the experience of leaving a place and coming back later to realise some places do not feel the same. Its scary and sad, because the places where you once felt comfrt and stability in no longer hold that. When I moved back to my home city mid 2025, i felt so disregulated and ungrounded. Nothing in my old enviornment felt right and it took me a really long time to find new routines and places that brought me a sense of stability. Since then I have learnt that the key to REAL lasting safety and familarity is by building routines and habits in your days that keep you regulated. This involves things like a consistent morning routine, consistent meals, exercise times etc to let your BODY know that you are safe, and ultimately your mind. When i started implemnting consistency and showing up reliably for my body, my mind felt safer. Relying on myself has made the chaos of the external world feel less intense. I have new places now too that make me feel safe, and most importantly people. Connection to the right people is so important and a huge focus of mine. 

I hope this helps. I felt very unsettled and lost for a long time but internal stability ALWAYS makes the external feel less overwhelming. 

Feel free to write in again if you have any further thoughts! All the best. 

Daydreamer. 

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Daydreamer,

That is so helpful what you wrote. I do know that connection with the right people and also activities that physically regulate my body really make a difference. I find doing something like swimming in the ocean can be really transformative. I think it’s that total immersion in a different environment and it helps the body to shift gear.

I’m sorry you went through that difficult experience of feeling dysregulated and ungrounded when you returned to your home city. It’s so disorienting isn’t it. But it’s wonderful that you have found ways to turn that around and build a regulating structure and activity into your day. It’s amazing what a difference that can make. I think I need a pattern of early morning exercise as when I manage to be active early it does change how I feel for the whole rest of the day, more so than if I exercise later in the afternoon. Thank you so much for your suggestions and what helps you. It’s like reclaiming your agency over yourself and your situation.

For me the strangest thing is having nature places that were my go to safe places as a child and younger adult, now being patrolled by heavily armed police. I just can’t get my head around that and again it triggered a feeling of safety being compromised for my inner child self. As a child I had no relational safety in the human world, so it was nature and places I felt a sense of connection and belonging with that meant everything to me. They were so important to me at a very fundamental level. But I’m learning how important radical acceptance is and that things change. I think we have to keep reorienting to whatever provides a sense of safety and regulation and, like you say, find ways to feel internal stability which always helps with external  conditions.

Thank you again,

Eagle Ray

[randomxx]

So sorry er , , l just hate what everything is becoming.

Haven't been to Sydney or inner parts of Melb for awhile now, wonder if it's come to that in those to, was surprised about Perth of all places though as such a smaller population and l'd be thinking still safe from the madness.

l could imagine how disturbing it must've of felt , so sorry it's hit you so heavily. 

Can also def' vouch for routine and ground-ness myself though to , one of the things l've been using for quite a few moons now and it really does help.

l hope you can find some peace at home when you return.

Big hug

rx   

[Picture]

Hi Eagle Ray

Sorry to hear of your experience. I can understand that seeing heavily armed police is very confronting, especially with your background of CPSTD.

I have lately felt the world is less stable and safe and seeing this would reinforce this view. Logically I know that police presence is to try to make people feel safer but it doesn’t always work that way, especially with recent world events. Grounding and distraction could be possible strategies. I like your idea of retreating into nature and spaces you consider safe and comforting. 

I hope things settle down in Perth soon and it is determined there is no need for such prominent weapons for the police. I do think it is probably a precautionary measure after the Australia Day incident and will hopefully return to ‘normal’ soon.

[trying_my_best]

Hi Eagle Ray

I am so sorry to hear about those social changes occurring in your home city. Social changes are never easy, especially ones of that variety an in the current climate of the world. I could only image how this could affect your PTSD. 

I wish I could provide more support, but I wanted to come on here and show you my support as I know if I were in that same situation I would also be feeling unsafe. If it ever starts to feel too much, here is a lifeline page that has PTSD specific supports. https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/techniques-and-guides/bondi-beach-incident-well...

[Eagle Ray]

Dear rx, Picture and trying_my_best,

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and suggestions, including the link which is very helpful. I am doing better now. My brain just kind of short-circuited and spun into a trauma response. It can take a few days to de-escalate sometimes. I’m dealing with dissociative parts that the body can get trapped in. A protector part that feels responsible for survival, and is especially a protector for the child part of self I mentioned above, is actually the part that wrote the original post. With dissociative identity disorder you can get trapped in a part and their physiological reaction to external trauma triggers. It can take a while to process everything and then work out how to manage things internally. It’s like things have to be integrated across the system.

Yes, I think things will hopefully settle a bit and I think recent events have led to these changes in policing. I really hope it doesn’t become the norm and that society can calm down. There is so much divisiveness at the moment and we need some really good energy in this world to come through and heal the brokenness. It’s like divisive energy is often responded to with more divisive energy, leading to things getting more and more fractured. Everything seems so polarised at the moment, and that tends to block things like empathy and shared understanding, leading to acts of hostility. Then the law enforcers feel a show of strength is needed as a deterrent, but that can increase the atmosphere of fear. So it’s an understandable response but the healing needs to happen where things are broken, at the fracture point where things are going wrong. I feel the world has to start turning around at some point soon and looking back historically you can see it’s happened before. Like the world was so divided during WWII but there were periods of hope and improvement that followed.

I do think that small acts of kindness actually make a difference too, and the more people doing that does actually have an impact on the bigger picture. Thank you all for your kind responses.

Hugs,

ER

[Picture]

Glad you are starting to feel better Eagle Ray.

I also feel there is more divisiveness in the world at the moment. It is quite stressful and does not promote feelings of wellbeing and comfort. I hope that there will be a time of improvement and healing down the track. I agree with you about small acts of kindness, they can make a big difference in ways we do not know.