Struggling and need to talk

Guest_93928415

Hi

Where do I even start? Well just over 8 years ago, my daughter was neglecting her children, and the eldest two (twins) were due to start kinder and she wasn't doing a thing to have them ready, so I offered to take them just to get them prepared.After a week or so we all agreed between us that they would be living with us (my husband and myself) because if we didnt take them on, services would and she agreed. They are 14 now and doing great. But she had 2 younger ones as well and I took in the next youngest as well (again no issues for us). However two days later I had no choice but to take her back to her mother because I had to urgently travel to nurse my dying mother. The night before she passed away I got a call to say both the little ones were removed by services. The same day my mother passed, we had to travel home, about 8hrs on train, so we could be with them. There was a case worker working with us (that I initiated, no intervention)and she supported me in taking the two younger ones in. Whe the assessor came to do the questioning, she told me things that werent true and documented them. The CW told her so many lies that I can easily prove otherwise. The CW said the twins were struggling and failing at school and this went negatively on the report. The CW said to the assessor that we failed to get them counselling in kindy when they displayed symptoms of neglect by their mother. Both of these are false as we have documents proving otherwise. We visited the school to ask why they didnt contact us if there were issues and they told us there was no CW visiting whatsoever and the twins were doing fantastically. Now they are in the care of a beautiful family, but the catholic agency, pull tricks, lie to cover up the truth and as a result, they have weakened me so I cannot fight it. I have legal care of the twins, all throughout the parents have not made any attempts to see them or be involved. I lost my two little granddaughters because of a massive lie, they need the truth when they are older...I lost my mum and couldnt be there for her because the little ones needed me, and that seemed for nothing. The trauma is immense, the 4 girls are ripped apart due to a lie. If I talk with my husband, he is always worse off..no one is ever sicker than him. I have no friends, and family is far away, I look after myself best I can, cant pour from an empty cup....but how good is the cup?

indigo22

Hello,

Welcome to the forums, I am so glad you found your way here and thank you for reaching out to us.

What a horrendous experience you have had, I am so sorry to hear this, it is not surprising you are struggling.

Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your mum and the fact that, through no fault of your own, you have not been able to grieve for that loss. You would be experiencing more grief with the loss of the little ones, I imagine you would be feeling quite overwhelmed at present.

I would like to begin by saying that this is a very kind community and it is safe to talk about what you are going through here, without judgement and most importantly you will be supported. It sounds like you are feeling very isolated from support at present so I would also like to give you a couple of helpline numbers you can call when you feel the need to talk to someone in real time along with a contact for helping you with the situation with the littlies. Since I don't know what state you are in, I am giving you the national link and from there you can find services in your state.

Womens Legal Services Australia (they are able to help with family law and referrals if needed)

https://www.wlsa.org.au/

Helplines for when you need to talk in real time

Griefline – available 9am-8pm Eastern Time 7 days – 1300 845 745

1800Respect – available 24/7 – domestic violence and abuse – 1800 737 732 (although this one is primarily for violence and abuse, I feel they would also be a good contact for your family situation)

I am sorry you have had a long wait for a reply, it is not normally this long however there have been a few more posts than usual in the past few days. We are all volunteers so the wait time is dependent on who is able to be on the forums at any given time. I would be happy to continue this conversation if you are comfortable, if you decide to reply, I will get a notification and will generally respond within a few hours.

I hope this helps for a start and will be here if you want to talk more.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo