Sexual problems FEELING dirty.

[Flower Earth angel]

Hi I have seen two male psychiatrists for ptsd from Narcissitc covert abuse

im 37 and isn’t kids but I’m Want to be married first,

I still love and grieve after years from the toxic relationship

with intimacy I feel dirty so I have been abstaining for over a year which is good for me but I actually feel physically unwell and dirty

dee anyone knwo di there are specific doctors for this,

no talk therapy I have donT that. And no one seems to know,

today I rang the hospital for a Sexual cousnellor though.

[Croix]

Dear Flower Earth Angel~

Welcome here to the forum, I'm sure you will find others who have been in your situation and and give their advice. Sadly there are many who have suffered in an abusive relationship, and if I understand correctly you are no longer in one, which is great. Not everyone has the strenght or opportunity to breakout

You have been injured -a lot, and for some reason people who have been treated very badly can come to blame themselves, I'm not sure why. With that too can come feelings of failure and low self regard. Having sex with an abuser, even when you were trying to make things work, or worse still had no choice, will have a huge impact.

After that feeling dirty and avoiding sex are very understandable, it highlights the situation you were in, and that is horrible.

It may be you can find a councilor who can assist, in all probability one that normally deals with abusive relationships -and the long-term after effects.

I am not a doctor and don't know answers, it may well be if you found someone who was gentle, kind and loving in everyday life you might get to the stage of feeling secure and cherished, then perhaps your feelings about yourself and intimacy might change over time

Do you have anyone to talk things over with that cares? A family member or freind perhaps. It's a hard subject to bring up, however trying to deal with things all alone is hard too

Please do come here and talk whenever you would like

Croix

[Flower Earth angel]

Thankyou

so isolated but trying to take one day at a time .

i got referrals to new supports but the grief and anger won’t go so I guess the ndis shud help with some f the Disabilty’s

[Croix]

Dear Flower Earth angel

I guess you have not yet found the right combination of therapy and meds, and that together with the fact you feel bad abut living with your parents, together the hearing and dental problems, simply makes matters worse. Not surprising the anger and grief is still strong.

You did mention a kitten before, and that your parents were against the idea. Actually it might not be bad one, perhaps if you explained your situation to a local animal shelter and had an undertaking the kitten could be returned if you could not cope might that change your parent's minds?

Croix

[Flower Earth angel]

Thanku for ur reply.

i do live alone been 2 months.

applying for disability.

[Croix]

Dear Flower Earth angel~

Applying for a disability is quite hard, do you have anyone to help you then medical reports and filling in forms?

I did not realise you were living by yourself, did you still think a kitten would be good?

Croix

[Flower Earth angel]

Hi I don’t see why not there not very high maintenance

putmpuppies I want too

i really have no idea how to feel love wnymore form the trauma

I’m 37 and I have no idea who to keep busy every day alonei am so overwhelmed and need supports but i get too triggered and they just seem fake to me so I dotn bother wnymore

[Sophie_M]

Hey Flower Earth Angel, 
Thanks for checking back in with us on the forums, it's great to see you back here for support. 
We're sorry to hear how overwhelmed and lonely you feel, this must be really exhausting. How long have you felt this way?

We're also sorry to hear about your negative experiences with Support Services. What have you found helpful in the past to manage similar situations? You might prefer a self-help program like myCompass at https://www.mycompass.org.au/ . The program consists of a set of tools to help people improve their wellbeing and to self-manage their stress, anxiety and/or depression. The tools are interactive and include mood tracking, self-help tips, therapeutic learning activities and motivational messages.

We really do hope you continue to reach out and perhaps give us another chance to give you some advice and get you on the right track to feeling better. Please call us anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch online:www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 

[Flower Earth angel]

Thanks for sharing

🙏