Self-punishment

[Wally87]

Hi,

I have had PTSD for 6 years after having a car accident where I’m deemed at fault. This accident resulted in the death of my mother. Since then I’ve been on a roller coaster. Over the years, I have engaged in many forms of self-punishment from not eating to over exercising, even being diagnosed with a binge eating disorder. I see my psychologist every few weeks but I can’t seem to change my self belief that deserve this punishment and unhappiness.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for on here but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Wally87]

Thank you. Sometimes it’s hard to see how far (or different) things are until someone else points them out. I want to be able to make a positive impact on someone else. Today my psychologist and I unpacked how I’ve never grieved the loss of my mum but I’ve been in anger and punishment/self-harm for 6 years. Now to work out how to back track and grief so hopefully I can learn not to hurt myself anymore. Any advice on that is greatly appreciated.

[Wally87]

It’s interesting how the realisation of my lack of grief around my accident and trauma has made me crumble (in a good way). I think I’ve finally realised what I should have allowed myself to start feeling 6 years ago. Now it’s time to start retraining my brain.