PTSD - Unsworn NSWPF

[melgav]

So it looks like i've got PTSD. I've been unsworn in NSWPF for 10.5 years during which i've worked at 000 and then the Child Abuse Squad. 8.5yrs has been spent in the child abuse squad and i've all of a sudden lost my brain. I'm angry. I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm everything all at once. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of the panic attacks. I'm sick of being looked down on, i'm not a cop, I couldn't possibly have PTSD right?!

[Guest_7403]

Not having a badge doesn't lessen the effects of those things.

Chin up mate

[PamelaR]

Hi Melgav and a very warm welcome to our community

I'm very proud of you Melgav. You have done a job that not many in our world wants to do or could do. Having PTSD is so hard. I must confess I don't know it from your point, but I know it from the other side. When I was growing up, calling 000 was not something anyone in our Neighbourhood would have done. Reporting childhood sexual abuse was not something anyone would report. You've come through that transition.

Being in that profession I'm sure you are aware of all the resources available out there that people are referred to.

I don't usually tell people what to do, but I think it is really important that you begin to start using some of these, e.g. your doctor, a health professional (e.g. counsellor or psychologist experienced in responders PTSD). Your pain is evident by your limited post. Hold on there Melgav. Please reach out to the resources that are available.

If you don't already know there is a thread here for first responders under the PTSD and trauma forum. It's pinned to the top of the forum.

Keep reaching out, if and when you want to. You are not alone Melgav.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PandorasLocksmith]

Caring lots, melgav.

I'm very grateful to you for all the highly stressful work you have done to help the community for all these years, both with 000 and the child abuse squad.

Anyone can get PTSD. There is no shield which can prevent it when you experience its precursors.

Caring very much that you get the care and professional support you need too. Hoping you find a trustworthy, well trained person to speak with about this, or even a team to support you through the really intesnse parts.

We are here to listen and to journey with you if you want to keep talking here.

Thinking of you today.

Pandora's Locksmith.

[Idkme]

Wow.... you sound like an amazing helpful caring person..... how could you NOT be affected by your work unless you are an uncaring piece of steel.

I’m sure you’ve heard the term vicarious trauma. That on top of any of your own issues will absolutely burn you out and sometimes it’s the tiniest most insignificant thing that can trigger us and set the ball rolling (or the pot bubbling over).

It sounds like you need some time for some self care and self healing.

i watched a podcast on sensitive people (not saying you are but I am) and I realised that my weakness was also my strength.... because im caring I tend to feel others struggles which can be a burden, but I can also help others and get some satisfaction knowing that I’ve helped a little, however you also need to be able to let go or realise you can’t help everyone, it’s a hard fact but a necessary element to acknowledge. And sometimes it’s actually more important to stop and just self care for a bit.... I think that might be the case for you.

No blaming, no searching for what’s wrong, just accepting that ‘shit’ happens and that being a sensitive person means you ‘feel’ and that sometimes you just need to recoup and reguvenate.

May suggestion is see your GP and get a mental health plan. You can do this without anyone knowing or you can share with those you trust. Then try a psychologist/psychiatrist and if they feel okay stick with them, if they don’t feel right then change.

Best of luck,

keep us updated on how you are travelling,

regards,

[Chick_in_a_guernsey]

Hi melgav,

I noticed you've not posted since your initial introduction. I hope you have found support and that things are going better for you.

As a former sworn member can I assure you that you ought not judge yourself harshly. I have only recently come to understand how deeply one particular job I attended has effected me.

Being in those particular fields carries the inherent risk that you'll gather baggage along the way. We all have a breaking point where it becomes too much to shoulder alone. I know some of the police services are pushing mental health in more recent times and trying to improve the stigma around ptsd within their organisations. I see some of the advertisements though and it just brings back memories that I'd rather not have.

I just wanted you to know or perhaps remember that you are not alone. From comms operators to transcribing child witness statements, there are some confronting roles out there for unsworn members. Your job description makes your contributions and your resulting mental health no less valid than a sworn member.

We all bleed, we all cry and we all feel the hurt, no matter the job title.

Feel free to pop back in and give us an update. I may not have any advice I can offer, early days in my own journey but there are lots of more knowledgeable and helpful folk on here.

All the best.