Psychosis/partner vilification/despair

[Nell]

I’ve been with my partner for 4yrs. The universe blessed me the day we met and years that followed. He’s the most amazing man, partner, father, family member and friend. 
Meeting later in life, we both have our baggage from previous relationships. My separation is amicable. His is not. 3 years with love/support I’ve supported him, through devastatingly stressful family court process including mental health issues, parent alienation, child psychological abuse/abandonment and extreme high conflict engagements etc.

We underestimated the constant stress/anxiety/conflict would ultimately lead to both our mental health decline and our intermittent self medicating evolved to substance use at the end.

A positive shift came in the form of a fresh start/new home.

However it’s been opposite. My partner has been experiencing a prolonged psychosis which is devastating. The torment I see in him from paranoia, delusions and loss of reality every day, is heart breaking….and I am really struggling. All of his delusions, paranoia and suspicions are directed at me. Accusations of infidelity, prostitution, technological manipulation, surveillance and plotting his demise…are constant. There are a few windows of hope and we can be the two people who connect deeply, love, care, and  support each other but they are becoming less frequent. Sobriety is not helping and professional help is not wanted, as he believes they are AI generated.

His family is supportive and somehow he functions, in his alternate reality….but not with me. I’ve offered to help guide him with the support services he needs. But this is just another weapon of manipulation and ultimate threat of harm as he believes.

His health is priority, but I am also experiencing collapse….. from the love of my life believing I’m plotting his demise, devaluing accusations that are so hurtful/devaluing… and grief of the future we so wanted, needed and hoped for….

Help!

[Croix]

Dear Nell~

I'd like to give you a warm welcome here to the Forum. It is a really heartbreaking situation you are in. I had a family member who though stress became psychotic and believed everyone was plotting against them, me included. They had no real idea of the world, just their twisted version. They did not believe anything was wrong and refused to see the doctor.

His partner called a CATT team who came out and assessed him, and he was admitted to a psych ward as a result. With rest, therapy and medication they returned to their normal state.

There are CATT teams only in some states/territories with equivalents in some others.

A listing can be found here:

https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/feeling-suicidal/help-for-suicide-emergency-crisis-assessm...

(Teams are not just for matters relating to suicide)

It may be worth considering this line of action if it is available, though there is no guarantee that they would see him at his worst and may not want to take action.

You are in a very stressful situation wiht all you had hoped for and the one you love all changed. May I ask if you are receiving support for yourself?  Seeing  a doctor and councilor can be very helpful, as can anyone in you life, family or friend, who will just be there for you.

If you would like to come back here and talk more you will always be welcome

Croix

[Nell]

Thank you for your support and understanding. It’s almost just enough to be heard and understood.
These mental health battles are so hard when physical symptoms are not always obvious to everyone around you, but so acute in your/your loved one’s lives.

thank you so much for this space!!!

🙏🙏🙏 ….i guess TBC….

with much love and compassion to all x

[therising]

Hi Nell

My heart goes out to you so much as you face so many mixed emotions including certain elements of grief. It's completely understandable how stressful and heartbreaking this all must be for you, given how much you love your partner. 

I can't help but wonder whether your partner has always struggled with inner dialogue in some form and now it's at a whole new deeply concerning level. What I mean by that is, for example, while some of us may 'hear' in our mind 'You have got to leave this job, it's destroying you', we may imagine this is coming from maybe our inner sage or some part of our brain that offers us much needed guidance. Btw, if the job is destroying us, it could be considered helpful and inspiring no matter where it's coming from. The question becomes 'What leads us to go from considering what could be good advice or not such good advice (regarding inner dialogue) to fully believing we must listen to everything that 'voice' says?'.

A truly fascinating organisation that addresses the issue of hearing voices is the 'Hearing Voices Network'. Well worth looking into for support and greater understanding. I remember being rather amazed when I first came across it a few years back. I had no idea such an organisation existed. It's a shame not more people know about it. The HVN addresses all possible reasons for why people hear voices and they also offer ways to manage (for the person who hears and those around them who are looking for help and support). 

Whether it's the 'voice' of intuition or inner guidance or a deeply concerning 'voice', whatever it is that speaks to us can have quite a unique way about it. While many may hear in their mind 'I have got to leave this job, it's destroying me', other's will hear 'You have got to leave this job, it's destroying you'. What can make that 'voice' so convincing in this case is the 'you' factor. It's as though something's speaking to us. I imagine this may be a part of your partner's struggle, the sense that something's speaking to him. Instead of hearing in his mind 'I can't trust her', he's possibly hearing 'She can't be trusted'. In some cases (not all) the challenge can involve not leading the person to stop trusting that voice, instead it can involve leading them to slowly begin seriously questioning it. For example 'If I am someone who has never done harm, why would I start doing harm now all of a sudden for no good reason? It doesn't make sense'.