Hi All,
I was reading some of the threads and was impressed by people's honesty.
So I decided to start a new thread to share myself what I have been through.
Last year I got very unwell and had to get mental health help from the public hospital. I was suicidal.
I had no friends, was crumbling, living alone and developed horrible body dsymorphia. I looked in the mirror and was disgusted.
I couldn't believe things could get so bad, like that you can kind of just die while still living. i was not taking care of myself and was a zombie at work. I told a few people I was suicidal and they didn't care.
My family haven't been there for me at all, although I have one sibling who tries.
A family member abused me verbally for years and destroyed my self esteem, and I'm only now putting together the pieces.
I'm very numb. I keep hearing the word disacociating (terrible spelling) - ---and a light is going onfor me, it feels like the right word for what i've felt. I think that was a part of how I survived for years, by disaccoiating.
I used to have friends and go out a lot but slowly I just narrowed my life down to myself, and I was alone all the time, and very sad.
It became normal and I just pushed through it, until one day I couldn't any more.
The triage was very helpful and pointed me to a group that helps people who are suicidal.... anyway.... i'm still here and feeling like i have a new lease on life. I do want to be here, altough the trauma still weighs me down sometimes.
