new person

[ecomama]

Hi everyone
not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happier that movements were restricted as I have had little choice but to live this way for a long time. Then I realised how odd this reaction is, opposite to what I was hearing at work. Simultaneously I felt huge grief for the world. I'm experiencing compassion fatigue from all of this.

my life has been wrought with trauma & grief, tremendous violence & loss. I desperately sought help from authorities to stop things over many decades. I have fought so hard through courts etc, I know it has cost me a lot of mental stability a lot of the time. At least my children and I are safe atm. Feeling safe is another thing entirely!

happiness eludes me. I strive for the happiness of my children. I don't know how to attain personal happiness, so have strived for contentment. I work hard physically but feel far more exhausted by my mind. flashbacks and memories often come back relentlessly in my waking hours and in my dreams. Working hard physically helps me sleep better 🙂

I used to be very sociable, quite athletic and had a large family. The abuse has taken its toll. My relationships were undermined by the abuser, so they are lost. My physical health was severely impacted by the abuse also. I have a counsellor but I was advised by a close friend who is studying psychology to seek a more intensive type of therapy. I have completed countless hours in therapy through books, online and in person over decades. My counsellor is very impressed by my persistence, resilience and recovery but I feel awful most of the time.

I have no relationships with extended family anymore which is very sad for me. I have basically given up trying since doors are constantly closed on that front.
Soon I plan to take leave from my work to support my children all struggling in their learning from home programs. I will have to take leave on far less pay, so this presents obvious issues to an already stretched financial situation.

I know there is no magic cure for all the issues I have at hand but I still have hope that things will improve and that I can feel happy one day. I pray there are answers within this forum for me.

Thanks for reading.

[ecomama]

Hi Blue

Re: CESs.... there are many basic philosophies as the foundation.
One being that all people are valued. Many others...
They use an alternative currency (AC - not to be confused with my adult children lol), the only AU$ that come into it at all is a nominal fee (ours is $7 per year) for things like printing pamphlets and buying paper IF we can't get it for CES currency or AC. But we donate extra AU$ to 3rd world Community Loans.

I think the Victorian CES / LETS uses "talents" as their currency.
Sydney uses "Operas" bec they're near the Opera House lol!
I'm not in Sydney.
Our uses a different currency title.

Anyway... it's really hard to get your head around it and you get better at it once you join.

Basically most things are negotiated.
I offered things like dog minding - we didn't have a dog. omg all sorts of things.
I did lots of Admin and was paid in AC.

It's NOTHING LIKE Gumtree or anything else. Those are strangers.

There are Trade Days - we have huge ones.
Things offered like massages, all sorts of foods (ours has lots of vegetarians and vegans)... goods - anything ppl want to off load, services of whomever wants to offer whatever.

You don't have to offer what you do for work!

Our family got so many things.
I had Alexa's Year 10 Formal Dress made by a seamstress in ours.
We got a row boat!
Had an entire Christmas catered for and ALL the kids presents one year - ALL for AC.
I started in March that year after our worse Christmas.
The next year was fantastic!
I had labour to build my 7 circle Mandala garden with a herb spiral in the centre lol!

I had a few VERY trusted friends in ours, who I invited to come to our garden any time they liked, pick what they wanted to eat and email me later with the list and I charged their account. I had / have a Permaculture garden, we grow organic food and at times we used Biodynamic Principles.

Our popular Community Garden joined and offered to pay ppl for workshops (I have Biodynamic and Permaculture Certs) and come to think of it, my work in ours got me a Permaculture Scholarship!
SO I studied through ours.

I'm not sure when I'll renew my membership again, but I absolutely plan to one day.
Maybe when Yvette is on a happier path, IDK.
DEFINITELY when BF moves out here.

Any questions? lol.

Love EM

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

"Nothing like Gumtree" - magic words there. I hate that site, I really do. I did read about the alternate currency and how it worked, that all makes sense.

When you said things are negotiated, do you mean with the administrators, or on the individual level with the people you're directly having a transaction with?

So Trade Day is like a market?

Ha, I don't think I could offer what I do for work, I fill online orders for a supermarket. Though I guess shopping for people was one of the things they suggested in the inspiration link. No thanks! You know, I hate shopping.

You gave me an idea, mentioning Alexa's dress and also studying through the CES, maybe I could get sewing lessons. Always wanted to get some skills there, I loathe most of the clothes I can buy, they're so bloody boring. When it comes to food, if I don't like what I can buy or can't afford it, I make it myself. I apply that principle to anything within my skill set. Not sure how I'd go with sewing, I've never been amazing at it, but motivation can make all the difference.

I like the sound of your garden. The community spirit in that is nice. Mind you, I'd have a fit if I had people coming to my yard all the time, this little introvert would have to offer something completely different!

I'll come back to the design topic since it's so popular on this thread. I was thinking the CES might be a good avenue to find a breakfast bar. Now I've got my office back and don't have my computer in the lounge, I thought it might be good to set up a nice tall table in there for the coffee machine, toaster, kettle and breakfasty bits that are filling up my decidedly diminutive kitchen bench. I also have a drinks cabinet and cocktail making set, so it can double as an actual bar after dark. 😉 I'd get little drawers underneath for storing things like my yoghurt and muesli making supplies. That's the idea, anyway. Fortunately, my partner is on board with it, he's very accommodating when I go on my flights of fancy. 🙂

Sounds like the CES has been a massively positive experience for you. Any particular reason you don't have membership at the moment? Maybe that would be a good avenue to get help with stuff like moving furniture - it sounds as though enlisting your brother's aid isn't a fun idea.

Blue.

[Guest_498]

Hi Ems,
I'm soo happy for Alexa!! Good on her. A lovely gentleman whos CUTE!!! Bonus!! Im sooo jealous!! Happy that shes happy. Must be a relief that shes moving away from Shep. Awrsome.
Hope youre having a great weekend.
Blubes xx

[Guest_1643]

hey lovely people!!!

yay for alexa - we're all excited. Kind man who works at Disney sounds like a nice one 🙂

I haven't heard of the selling site you guys mentioned. Blues I know what you mean that Gumtree is very hard for sellingthings - you really see the vulture nature of people.
I don't mind to buy things there though, altough sometimes i get nervous meeting the person or going to their home. As EM says- total strangers.

Where do u think is good to buy second hand stuff if not gumtree? I buy from ebay sometimes as well, and used to buy from op shops at a time but am a bit over it.

Hope all are doing well. How are the birds and the chook respectively, Blues and EM ? xx

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey, Sleepy. I've used eBay plenty and I've found it mostly pretty positive. Op shops can be good, depending on what you're looking for. Markets and garage sales have their place, can find some nice surprises. My little birds are well and happy, and full of mischief. Thanks for asking. 🙂

Blue.

[ecomama]

Hey Blue

I'm feeling pretty "rocky" today. Woke up and suddenly felt horrible.

I'll try to answer your questions about the CES.

The Foundation for the international CESs is in the title "Community"... you become part of a community.

It's not all about 'selling stuff'. They use the word is 'trading'.
You set the price in the alternative currency but you may not sell it. Depends on what ppl want.

No Admin don't get involved in transactions but Admin IS involved in the "health" of the community meaning people's accounts being within the guidelines and ALL interactions being of a proactive, positive nature. There are hiccups as in any community...

I was VERY involved like to the hilt!
Then went back to FT work and was married to a demon who cut all my ties to everything.

I'm a single parent with sole care of lots of kids.
Plus my adult children.

About 7y ago I was so completely overwhelmed with specific things that came out about demon... then it just got worse and worse and the WORST. Many years of Courts. I studied Laws of all sorts and had to secure the children and our home. No time for anything but that. PTSD ran rife.

I was betrayed by my adult children, influenced by Shep bec of demon, so am concentrating on family alot.
Then 2y ago Alexa fled from Shep to my house with the children. It was AWFUL, my Courts had not finished yet... horrible.

I won but it took me many years and my MH suffered extremely. Still does to a lesser degree.

Back to the CESs... it's not about "getting stuff" but it can be lol...
YES! Many people join who have crafting skills.
I had a beautiful garden bench made lol.
I had 2 seamstresses visit every week during Home Schooling to teach my many children to sew.

I offered difft things at difft times and changed my offers frequently.
Offered seedlings, food from my garden and all sorts.

Basically the alternative part is in ALL ways but if you think about an Ancient tribe, it's more like that lol... we clothed ALL our family through LETS and Freecycle, stuff like that.

The sewing in my home and those 3 families in my garden was ONLY after I established "trusted relationships" with THOSE specific ppl. It wasn't an open invitation lol NO. Those 2 old ladies have since passed.

Any questions?

EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Bluberry said:Hi Ems,
I'm soo happy for Alexa!! Good on her. A lovely gentleman whos CUTE!!! Bonus!! Im sooo jealous!! Happy that shes happy. Must be a relief that shes moving away from Shep. Awrsome.
Hope youre having a great weekend.
Blubes xx

Yes, it's really lovely.

Alexa left Shep 2y ago and lived here but was forced to go back to him when he withheld the children. She slept on the lounge.
Had no job- just their businesses.
It was horrible.

Then she got the NDIS gig and moved out.
Shep slyly moved in with them during Covid shut downs with ulterior motives and it all exploded disgustingly - he was doing really bad stuff.

We got the Police out but Alexa didn't want to press charges then - silly girl.

Plus stealing her money which is Shep all over.

Anyway Alexa HAS distanced herself, emotionally and psychologically now too, THANK GOD.

She needs Court Orders done for Settlement AND Parenting.
Shep's trying to worm around EVERYTHING including the taxes from the business - that's a mess.

SO I hope that can happen soon but I can't hold my breath nor make it happen for Alexa.

I have Alexa's gorgeous rescue dog here for a few days, she's absolutely beautiful lol.

Alexa has gone away for work with a mum and her children who are all autistic. Also to give the dad a break - he's sweet but very depressed atm. Beautiful family. AMAZING progress since Alexa has been supporting them!
AMAZING.
Weather's great and there's a beach AND a pool lol!

Everyone thinks they're a lesbian couple when they're out together and they were going to get rainbow matching cozzies lol!

Lots of fun.

I'm not doing very well.
Prodigal son and stuff... just yuck and triggering.

EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Sleepy21 said:

hey lovely people!!!

yay for alexa - we're all excited. Kind man who works at Disney sounds like a nice one 🙂

I haven't heard of the selling site you guys mentioned. Blues I know what you mean that Gumtree is very hard for sellingthings - you really see the vulture nature of people.
I don't mind to buy things there though, altough sometimes i get nervous meeting the person or going to their home. As EM says- total strangers.

Where do u think is good to buy second hand stuff if not gumtree? I buy from ebay sometimes as well, and used to buy from op shops at a time but am a bit over it.

Hope all are doing well. How are the birds and the chook respectively, Blues and EM ? xx

Yes so are we! LOL...

He works for Disney and xBox and all sorts of other high flying companies lol.

My darlings are doing okay.
Darling chicken is still sleeping with me but enjoyed a whole day in the front garden yesterday so she was very happy.
Another chicken hurt her foot yesterday but that's healing. I found her asleep on my washing machine this morning - hey honey, that's NOT gonna work lol.

The CESs are not typically "selling and buying" sites.

I think if you want one off unique pieces then you have to spend SO MUCH time looking for them everywhere.
I've been simply driving home from somewhere and found a GREAT timber Adirondack chair, a beautiful Asian plant stand (for Alexa) and TONS of Grecian style pots for plants, plus plants themselves plus more just on the side of the road.
At difft times over the years.
Plus 2 lounge sets, one's antique and Alexa uses it as her outdoor setting and EVERYBODY asks her where she got it lol! SO COMFORTABLE.

So the answer is anywhere and sometimes nowhere.

I just "put it out there" and Pray or give it to the Universe and then I stumble across it.
Don't have time to shop.

Money is SO tight now and could be for 18 months - 3 years now... IDK how the cards will drop there.

I really want to build my bungalow lol but just have to visualise it there... I think there are a million lantana seedlings growing there I found yesterday!

Love EM

[ecomama]

Girls I feel SO BAD today. Like really really bad. The depression hit hard the minute I woke up.

Prodigal son...... arghhhhh.

Mucking me around NO END.

Now he says he's coming home TODAY after me waiting for him all day yesterday.

AND HE WANTS.... always wants wants wants.... me to fill in about 10 pages of dense paperwork for Centrelink.

AND THEY WANT MORE added to that! COMPLETED TODAY.

I'm getting really angry now.

None of this was my doing.

And the dogs and cat and children and chickens need me.

Just hate this added pressure.

Need to shop for food and just try to get through today.

Love EM

[Guest_498]

I understand what youre going through. That is highly demanding from them. Is Centrelink for study allowance? Im sorry youre going through all the pressure. Why would prodigal son demand it be done today? He obviously hasnt given you notice. How rude. Cant stand that.
Go shopping, walking fir exercise whatever to clear & distract.
My thoughts r with you today, bbg. Xx