Need sympathy today :(

[plodalong]

hi, just another day and feeling overwhelmed and as if all this 'stuff' I am going through is never going to end. And I can't say too much for safety reasons. yes it is that bad. I had a d.v. order and had to give it up - partner fought it! I am on my own with the kids. Our lives have been impacted *so* much by what he did. And there is no sorry. There will be no sorry. Yes I do get support from family and friends..it just all keeps going. All this legal stuff, and being scared of what is coming next. And actually thinking I should update my will in case he takes my life. I am happy with my safety at the moment but I do get worried if there is a car outside late at night. You just listen until it goes away, and listen for footsteps. And I just fight every day to keep going and not let my kids know all the stuff I am carrying around. Its just hard. thanks for reading.

[Neil_1]

Dear plodalong

Thank you so much for providing your post and I’d like to say a very warm welcome to you to Beyond Blue.

Reading through your post, despite the fact that you said you feel happy with your safety at the moment, I’m sorry, but I feel very concerned for you.

I’m not across restraining orders and such, but I can’t work out how a partner (or anyone) could fight such an order … and assumedly, win?? Does this now mean, he can go to your place whenever he wants too? That just doesn’t sound right to me, especially if you feel so worried about it all.

That is brilliant to read that you are receiving support from family and friends … is there any chance that you could go and live with one of them? Even if for just a little while?

As he knows where you live, this must be a big worry for you … I know this would be a massive thing to possibly do, but have you had any thought about moving? Either within where you are, or potentially to a place a long way away … and for there to be no chance for him to know where you’ve gone?

I’ll send this off now, but I do hope that I can hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[plodalong]

hi neil, the order was going to be contested by him. No..the legal system can't keep you safe. to be fair there are probably some people in the system who are genuinely trying. But I don't trust the system, and my psychologist warned me not to trust it. I chose to let the order go as I could not take any more stress given what had happened. I can't say too much on here because I don't want to identify myself. There is no point moving. how can I say to my kids..don't tell your dad where we live. I don't want to scare them. I just feel like I am waiting all the time. Waiting for the legal thing to be over. waiting for him to do the next crazy act. And on a bad day I tell myself this is my life..being treated like crap by people. And the kids aren't scared of me, so the house is a mess and its only me to clean it up. Yes I do get support from people, I just hope they aren't as sick of it all as I am. I don't know what he will do next, I mean what unstable, crazy thing. I know it won't be good. And it will be left to me to explain to the kids. I am going to suck it up here and say something positive. I don't feel like it though 😉 I am quite amazed at what I have battled through. Its been a huge battle to get through. But I did it. I am doing it. We are amazing, can be amazing, us human beings. I believe in the power of the mind.. but this really puts that to the test. thanks for reading.

[blondguy]

Hi Plodalong

I am looking for your original post..and will find it if thats okay just so people can understand the background of what you have been through

(Im sorry that you are going through a crap time. I understand you. I was in the family court on and off for 6 years and even though I prevented an interstate relocation there were no winners. My ex took out her frustration on my 6 year old daughter....for years...because I won the court case)

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi plodalong

I just bumped up your original thread 'Staying well in Challenging Times'. I will respond on your original one to make room for any new people that are trying to post a new thread 🙂

'Staying well in Challenging times'

Thanks Plodalong, Paul

[Neil_1]

Hi Plodalong,

Thank you for writing back.

This just sounds like such a horrible situation that you’re in and have been in; I also have tried to find the other post that you provided as per what Blondguy mentioned, but was unable to find it. Only cause I didn’t want to rehash old things that may have already been covered.

So I hope it’s ok to continue with you on this one. I would like to thank you for writing that tremendously positive comment you wrote. Not that I could know anything of what you’ve been through (maybe others on this site would be able to comment on this, as they may have been in similar situations), but amazing is a great word that springs to mind.

I’m sorry I don’t have much in this response for you, but I just wanted you to know that you’ve got support on this site and I wish there was something more I could do or say.

Kind regards

Neil

[Sophie_M]

Hi everyone, we're going to close this thread off as it's difficult to follow with multiple threads running concurrently on a similar topic.  You can continue this conversation in the thread below:

Staying well in challenging times