my story of a traumatic childhood to where i am now

[Jay95]

i spent the first 15 years of my life being neglected and mentally + psychically abused by my drug addicted parents - not provided what i needed to attend school such as books and correct uniform, and had nothing to stay safe and warm and be loved like all children should be. i did my best to provide for my other siblings, i did my best thats all you can do as an 8, 9, 10 year old with no money or support from anybody. 

my parents only paid attention to us when they wanted something to hit and hurt. unfortunately my dad was worst for it and it happened every single night until i was 15. and it was much much more than just hitting, but i dont think i can go into detail here. i have scars and marks from these nights. this was usually when he was very drunk. i spent every single moment of my childhood terrified, lonely, feeling useless and feeling unloved. he manipulated and controlled me and my siblings. 

when i was 15 i spoke up about my home life, this was to a teacher at school after i showed up to school with a broken laptop that i had borrowed- it was used in the night befores proceedings....it took a lot for me to open up but it was the best thing i ever did. a while after that my brothers and sisters and i were put in foster care while mum and dad tried to sort out their issues, but that never happened they couldnt sort out their addictions and other problems out enough that it was safe for us. 

im 20 now and my younger siblings are still in care. my dad died last year and my mum is still using ice, cocaine, and some other drugs. 

i have been able to achieve something with my life and i am determined to be something and do something with my time in the world. i was constantly told i would end up being nothing in life, but look at me now - got a house of my own, got friends, a full time apprenticeship, play footy both for local and in a squad and I'm working on my mental health issues! I recently got a C-PTSD diagnosis and i'm working through it with headspace. 

from a difficult start and a life full of trauma, I'm leading a fulfilling life, its been a long time coming but I'm proud of my ability to fight!

[white knight]

Hi Jay,

Wow. you have succeeded while many would have taken the easy self destructive road.

I imagine when your siblings are out of foster care you'll make plans to care for them too. The hand you were dealt didnt deter you.

Well done. Tony WK

[pipsy]

Hi Jay95.  Congrats overcoming a really bad childhood, young adulthood.   You have done so well.  I am sorry about your dad, you're probably not - yet.  Hopefully with time, you'll be able to forgive him.  He messed up really bad, so has your mum.  Do you have contact with her? Hopefully with time, you'll also be able to forgive her.  It's amazing how well you have managed to overcome your emotional problems with (hopefully) not too many scars (visible and invisible).  I hope your bad experiences won't deter you from eventually marrying and having your own family.  I think you'll eventually become a very good husband and father.  I'm sure your past bad experiences will be able to provide you with insight as to how to give your future spouse and children emotional support.

Again - congrats.  All the best for your future.

[Jay95]

i have struggled a lot with mental health issues, self harm, low self worth and i still do but I'm learning how to manage it with self care and headspace appointments. thanks white knight for your encouraging words! 

[Jay95]

thanks pipsy

yeah.. when dad died it was a pretty confusing time for me, saying goodbye to someone i spent all of my life hating, but also a part of me... someone that should of loved me and cared for me. 

 i have a little bit of contact with mum, we talk every now and then but i try and keep it at a distance, as she can very on and off - somedays threatening me and hurting me, other days giving me cash so that i feel compelled to help her. But I do have contact with my 15 year old brother. he's pushing to live with me which is going to be a struggle organising in itself...

i have a lot to work on, but i know where the help is and I go to Headspace each week. 

i have been renting with housemates for a couple years now and i've just leased my first place on my own, its all ready to move into. I'm looking forward to a future of getting married, having my own family and a career in landscaping (my current job). 

[Chris_B]

Hi Jay, thanks so much for sharing your story with us here on the forums. I hope you can stick around and provide some of your valuable insights for others who are struggling, especially in the Young people forum.

[yona]

Hi jay you have done great and have come so far good for you.

[yona]

I think it is great that you have picked your self up and dusted your self off and have kept going. keep going your going so well.

[Dumped_confused]

Jay, your story brought a tear to my eye and as I kept on reading it became a bunch of happy tears.. You, young man are AMAZING! I am so happy that you are working through it all and are not broken. Keep on keeping on and you will succeed in life, love and family. So proud of you! 

[Enlighten_me]

The sad story touched me deeply.  How much of this abuse goes on with nobody ever knowing.  I'm hoping that through your battle in life, simple things will always mean so much to you. I'd imagine you would be very easy to please and you will give life so much now. Not to say you would have struggled immensely to achieve happiness.  You have got a lot more than most to offer the world as you are a warrior and your personality will glow and attract.  I dare say you have learnt to dismiss aggressive and toxic people. If not, make it your next challenge. It will be an easy one for you I think.  You have a lot to make up for jay95.  Show the world how it's done.   Maintain that positive attitude, you can't go wrong.