My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon
I have a dear dog whom I rescued from a horrible place in May 2020. She is now 9 years old. She is the light and love of my life. Two weeks ago she seemed to be unbalanced and a long story short I have taken her to the vet 4 times since then. She has had numerous tests and ultrasounds and the vet is not giving me any answers.
In the last two days she has been lying in the bathroom which she never does. She has been having tremors and crying in her sleep. Although the vet doesn't know what is wrong they have put her on strong painkillers. When she has these she doesn't show pain but sleeps.
She is not drinking water and is very out of sorts. I feel it is time to put her out of this misery. The vet wants to do an MRI at a cost of $5000.00. I have spent $1600 at the vet in the last 9 days.
I am besides myself as I feel she has had a stroke or has a brain tumour yet the vet keeps stringing me along. At the end of the day I truly believe she is showing all the signs of a poor animal at the end of her life.
I am so torn. I barely sleep, I put her on my bed at night and she is often panting, crying in her sleep or having tremors. I am so upset and anxious and I guess I just want someone to make that decision for me. Which I know is not going to happen.
I rang my local vet and told them what has been going on (they were not aware as I had to take dear doggy to emergency vet throughout all of this). They were very kind and said to me that if I truly feel it is time to take here there anytime and they will look after her....
I am so scared that if I do this it might be too early? Yet deep down I know something very wrong is going on with her....I am falling apart. I love her so much. She had a terrible life until I rescued her. I hate life. It is so terrible and unfair.
I have been crying almost constantly daily. Please someone help. Thankyou.
I hope scattering her ashes may give you some peace that she is at peace now.It is such a emotional time for you.We all morn in our own way and we do have anger when we mourn.It takes time.I found getting another rescue dog helped that process but it up to you when you feel comfortable You have experience now to know how to get your loved one treated and will be a better experience with a vet for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been very comforting for her knowing you were there showing your unconditional love and support until the very end. I know it can be extremely painful and devastating. This will be a journey but I truly do wish you a healing process.
She sounds like she was the most beautiful dog and I completely agree that our pets are our loved ones.
We are here for you
She was a sweet, darling, funny, wonderful girl for sure! A real character! Always making me laugh. She got along with everyone...dogs, kids, cats, you name it. One day she alerted me to a baby koala in the garden. She never once tried to hurt it. We rescued the little soul. She also alerted me to a brown snake in my loungeroom a while back....if she hadn't told me it was there I have no idea what disaster could've occurred.
I think of her always. Taking my friends sweet dogs out everyday is certainly helping me. I love them too. I will never get over her.
Having a very bad day . She is here in spirit...I can feel her. I am so devastated. I miss her so much. I am furious at myself for not pushing the vets! I had an email from them yesterday....trying to cover their butts again 😞 So disillusioned and angry. So angry at myself. So over everything. Everything I do reminds me of her. She is always in my mind! I cry always...I try not to but I can't help it. She truly was my life.
Taking my friend's darlings out certainly helps. I love them too. But she is always there in my mind and in my mind's eye. How I wish I could have one more day with her!!!! How I wish I had listened to my instincts and been braver and stronger to speak up more!!!! Essentially how I wish she did not have to suffer that appalling last couple of days and nights 😞
I simply cannot stop thinking about the horrid seizures; her poor body...her crying...biting her tongue...foaming at the mouth.....it is totally horrendous and I try to think of her happy and well but these black memories are plaguing me.
I will never understand life. I guess none of us will. I have to be strong just for her as I know she would not want me to be like this. Indeed if ever I was upset the darling child would sit next to me and comfort me. She truly was an angel in a dog suit. If you know what I mean! I will never forget the smell of her darling fur. I used to tell her she smelt like a piece of toast! She was so sweet and darling and just the best.
I still have some ashes (crucifying :() which I will have made into a pendant so I can carry her with me always. She will always be in my heart and soul.
She was gold. In nature and in colour.
I think the hardest thing for me is that I only had 20 months to give her the wonderful life she so deserved. She had been neglected, abused, treated like rubbish by so called humans for all of her 7 years on this godforsaken planet. She only had the love and life she deserved when I found her on Gumtree.....'free to anyone who wants her'...care factor zero...:(
She was so brave, strong, beautiful. There was a reason I found her.....other than my falling in love with her on sight...she restored my faith in the higher powers. She also made me realise that one's soul is indestructible. As hers is. She had no aggression or fear. She was just a sweet, peaceful, darling furchild who had a great sense of humour I might add! She loved us singing to her and mucking about...she made our lives so happy.
I have to believe that I will meet with her again (and my other furbies in heaven) or there truly is no point. I do believe she has been sending me some signs. The butterfly at the beach when I scattered some of her ashes...I have never in my life seen a butterfly at the beach? The cloud that looked like her dear head when we had a one week vigil last Friday....I see her and feel her so much.
Darling dogs/cats/pets in general...they are so pure and wonderful. I will continue to look after my friend's darlings and anyone who requires it to be honest! Luckily I do not have to work so I will be making that my mission. I don't do people that well ! Present company excepted!
It is so painful, somtimes crying is all we can do. We can cry out all our feelings, the sorrow, the anger, the injustice, the misery, the longing, the guilt, the regret, the loneliness, & still more pain...& all these words seem meaningless.
Then, when we must, we gather ourselves up, feeling drained & exhausted, until, you feel it begin again.
Let me assure you, it does get better, easier with time. & that does not mean we have stopped loving them, or that we love them less.
However, if at some point you feel your grief is so overwhelming you cannot cope without help, please reach out for that help I'm sure the BB Counselling Service could help with that. Ph: 1300 22 46 36.
My warmest virtual hugs,
I may have said this already...
last year had to put the family cat down. These days when I go to put out the garbage I leave the front door open. It is just easier. Nearly a year later I still look back to make sure the cat has not escaped through the door. I still think about him.
Right now, there is a big hole in your life. A part of the you has gone. Just because it was your dog, does not mean you are allowed to be sad, angry or whatever feelings you have. It shows what your pet meant to you, and how much you loved your dog.
And if you want to share a memory here, please do! Maybe share one the adventures you had together.
We had so much fun! She loved the beach. I don't think she had ever been until she came into my life. The first few visits she would watch the other dogs playing with balls but never joined in. The following week the clever girl had worked it out and she began stealing other dogs balls and having a great time! So cute to see! She also loved going in the car and to the meadow out the back...she generally loved being out and about! She had so many pals at the beach and the dog park. Everybody who knew her loved her.
She used to do this hilarious talking business; she made us laugh so much and she would do it even more! A real sweet clown she was! I do laugh a lot thinking of her antics. Darling soul.xx.