Multiple Traumas

[Rang]

Hi, I'm new to all this so here I go, If anyone can relate please comment, I really don’t know where I’m at lately but I’m feeling very low and struggling with ptsd ,have sought help from my gp. It all starts 23 years ago when my wife and I lost our first child, a baby girl who was still born. Life for us was very hard for some time. Never really got over it just got through it “somehow”. We now have 3 boys. A few years ago my wife, my 3 sons where fishing at a lake on the shore when a boat driven by a middle aged man pulls up near us screaming for help. There was 2 couples in the boat that had crashed into a tree at high speed, they where all thrown through the windscreen and had horrific injuries. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. It was just terrible. About 4 years ago I witnessed a domestic murder/ suicide at very close proximity to our house where a lady I knew quite well was a victim on a murder suicide. She survived he passed away. My family also witnessed this terrible event. Last year I watched as my best friend was cut down and passed away due to pancreatic cancer, then later in the year my mother in law past away with liver disease. Finally my beautiful Dad passed away at the start of the year which has left me shattered. So now I find myself in a terrible place. Hardly sleeping, not eating, not going to work,angry, moody and on the verge of throwing my job in.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Rang, 

We are so sorry to hear that you have been through so many challenging experiences. We can hear that you have been  through a number of traumatic moments in your life and we now that these traumas don't just leave us once they are done. Trauma is a complex and multi-layered thing to be dealing with. We want you to know that we are here for you. 

We also want to say how thankful we are that you have been able to be so brave and to share your story. It must have taken a great deal of courage to write this post, thank you for being such a good example to the rest of us. 

We think that it might be a good idea to talk to someone about how you are feeling so that they can help support you in the moment and maybe help find other areas in the community that can support you. 

You can always call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636  or our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14. The teams that answer the phones understand the impact trauma can have and are there to listen to you and your story. 

It is wonderful that you have found your way to the forums and we hope you have a chance to look around and find some other conversations that you might resonate with. Please feel free to check back in and update us on how you are going if you feel comfortable. 

Kind regards and welcome to this warm, welcoming and caring community, 

Sophie M

[Guest_7403]

Hey buddy!!

Really sorry to hear that you've been through all these things.

Complex PTSD which related to multiple traumas needs proper treatment.

Suggest a psychiatrist appointment and you look at programs to help deal with it.

Take care of yourself, small steps friend.

[Rang]

Thank You

[Rang]

Thanks Mate

[Croix]

Dear Rang~

I'd like to join Sophie_M and the others in welcoming you here to the Forum. I'm very glad you took the time and courage -perhaps even desperation -to tell your story here and I hope reading how others have coped may help.

Your title says it all "Multiple Traumas". As I expect you already know repeated trauma builds up until the effects become overwhelming. I was invalided from the police for a range of matters, including images best not described. Eventually it was found I had PTSD, which had previously thought came about as the result of one incident, but later acknowledged this cumulative effect.

Your behavior is not you, and if you think it is due in any way to failings in yourself then you are wrong -just as I was for thinking that. It is in fact a set of symptoms including anger, no sleep, hopelessness, inability to work and many others. I withdrew and found even trying to cope with those I loved became too much.

I"m a different person now, with patience, the ability to love and be loved, receive and give support, and able to work and gain satisfaction from it. Life is fragile as you have seen, but it can be good despite your experiences. I'm happy to be here

How did this change happen? Not overnight. In fact I simply could not make myself improve and needed competent appropriate medical help both with a GP, ongoing visits to a psychiatrist, and occasional additional therapies from psychologists. Plus of course medication (it took a while to find the right one)

I must also mention I had the support of my partner, and this helped greatly, a very hard time for her as I was horrible to live with, and something she said one day I responded well to, the next I'd be a mass of resentment and anger

May I ask a couple of questions?

First have you sought medical help? If not please go see your doctor and in a long appointment say all that you put in your post (show the post itself if you can't manage to speak of it).

If you do have a medical team please go see them and explain their current regime is simply not effective and needs to be quickly and deeply reviewed. It is not working!

Please try not to quite you job, or anything to harm your future prospects. By rights you should be on sick leave if it is available

The other question is about personal support, something I needed without realizing it. Do you have anyone to be there for you, simply care for you wihtout trying to fix matters? Just be a constant comforting presence when needed

Croix

[Rang]

Hey Croix, Everything you have written pretty much relates to where I am at the moment. I recently saw a GP and have made appointments with a psychiatrist and psychologist. I’ve also started on medication, some days it helps and some days well…. I think it’s doing more harm then good, the side affects. Sometimes I sit and think to myself why am I doing this? Am I going insane? Then the way I treat my beautiful family and Wife is just ridiculous. Outbursts of anger, crying the list goes on and on. As for work, I just don’t care anymore even though I really should as I’ve got a house to pay for. Sometimes I wish I could just hide away forever. Just can’t see an end to all this. Thanks for listening to me rant.

[Croix]

Dear Rang~

The treatments are going to work, just as they did for me. They may need to be reviewed, an example being your meds, if -after a reasonable time decided by your doctor together with you, they are not that good then maybe they need altering.

I was always conscious I was treating my partner and family badly, though my mind was so full of the illness there was no room to deal with others, hence my anger and resentment -well, at least part of the reason anyway.

It was a major triumph to make my wife a cuppa unasked, as a means of showing I was trying and appreciated the very hard time she was going through.

No you are not going insane, you are suffering recognizable symptoms and that is hard -and does make you wonder, as it did me. I often thought it was my failings, later I found I was wrong.

I'm very glad you now have a GP, a psychiatrist and psychologist. Of the lot I've found the psychiatrist the most help, mainly as I was able to see him frequently and regularly without worrying about cost, and he would send me to specific psychologists for their specialty treatments. Without the medical team and my wife I'd not be here talking to you, it works.

You are not ranting, simply recounting how you feel, something human beings need to do when suffering - no worries

Croix

[Tearainy]

Hi Rang,

I'm also new to this but while our stories are different I can relate to you with how your feeling now.

I've also suffered from multiple traumas... I went through emotional, physical, mental and sexual abuse from my now ex for several years, then after finally getting away and moving on I met my husband and we concieved a child. During my pregnancy I lost my grandfather, my aunt and my much loved stepmom. Then found out my baby boy only had 1/2 a heart. Had my son and watched him battle for life, due and be brought back over and over again on his first week after his first surgery. Months in hospital then finally brought him home. Fell pregnant again and my second beautiful son was still born. Then had multiple miscarriages and then last year my first son lost his battle at 3 years old. Then a few months later a good friend who just turned 18 and was like a son to me in many ways passed away as well from the same condition that killed my son.

I have a loving husband, 2 beautiful daughters from my ex and a new baby boy and while I love them all dearly.... Im