i think im losing my mind

[braxthemusicman]

The last 3 months have been really bad for my mental health (due to breakups, living situation, etc) but recently it just spiralled downhill. I feel like I can't trust the people I'm most closest with, and that I am a bourden on them when they want to just chill. I feel like a different person everyday, but one thing remains the same; I'm losing my mind. It hurts to cry and speak out, I can't love anyone the way I use too, I love different people at different times and I don't know what the hell is happening to me. I feel weak all the time, I feel like my friends don't want to hangout with me because they are sick of seeing me. I've also been hearing voices making me think of things I hate about myself. I don't know if this has to do with events the last few months, or a relapse of a bad depression episode, or if I'm schizophrenic or bipolar or anything, all I know is I'm going insane and I need help, but afraid to ask because of anxiety.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Brax,

Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We're sorry to hear that you're feeling detached from everyone. It sounds like you have a lot to offer people. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully, some of them will be able to offer you words of advice.

If you are interested, we would also recommend getting in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

Please feel free to reach out here on your thread and keep us updated on what you're feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it.

[braxthemusicman]

hello! sorry for an extremely late reply. i am going to hopefully start phsycology soon for the second time. this depressive state of mind has been going on for 6-8 weeks now and its really getting to me. i have been talking to my closest friends and parents about it for a while now, and they have been bloody amazing with their words and support. i have found that writing and playing music helps a lot and i have noticed a difference before a jam sesh and after one, its night and day.

anyway thats my update post. thank you so much for your continued support and hope you all have a good night 🙂

[Scapegoated]

It sounds like maybe someone said some bad things to you and that you were traumatized by it. It is VERY confusing in the beginning. You are not crazy. Don't worry. It will make sense to you one day. I am sorry you have these bad thoughts but you were not born thinking bad things about yourself, someone told you at some point-maybe when you were so little you could not remember-that you were bad. it is NOT true. You are wonderful and all you need to do is NOT harm yourself and know that you are a wonderful person and that someday you are going to figure out the trauma that you went through who made you feel like you were a bad person. Please know you are not and you aren't losing your mind. I felt like i was losing my mind when I finally came out of denial and started having panic attacks from all the abuse i suffered at the hands of my mother and older sibling an adult woman. And from my father for getting drunk and not protecting me from their jealous narcissistic rages. I had to block it out until I was tall enough and big enough to defend ,myself i guess. Then I got panic attacks and flashbacks. I hope you can go to someone and talk about it. If you can tell someone at school anything you can remember about any trauma you went through since you are posting on trauma and ptsd that would HELP A LOT. I think you are wonderful and a good person. remember that.