Mental depression

[Guest_52776774]

Hi ,I feel like I want to share my experience 4 months ago I was happy enjoying time with my 8 yr old daughter ,I was working part time ,going out to eat with 2 close friends and living alone renting which was probably the difficult part that I was struggling with,  so when I applied for work 5 yrs ago I took this job that was available on Saturday and Monday unloading of bedroom furniture..I didn't have much of a social life so Saturdays work was gd to me as you get paid penalty rates....this was the start of my mental state that changed that happy person to someone who now isolates him self , I refuse to want to sleep when I do I dream the same dream , I get anxiety .I shake , I can't go near public I just want to be left alone....this is how it began I would ask my boss about penalty rates working Saturday he said the pay rate is the same no matter what days you work I didn't know if this was true but I barely got my rent paid I scrapped through every week I also had Centrelink assistance I didn't drink anything apart from water just to save the money for other expenses my poor daughter would ask me to buy her a toy she's 8 yrs old and it broke my heart when I couldn't we would go outside and make something together....so there was another incident that happened which I could not face my boss again the extra money now wasnt gonna be available no more for working casual part time....this decision was hurting me next 4 weeks I laid in bed the depression my mental state was deteriating rapidly and it still is.....this incident that happened made me enquire to a ombudsman if I was entitled to penalty rates working Saturday he confirmed I was and when he told me how much I was suppose to receive I immediately felt sick the anxiety was taking over my body the boss was paying me 17 dollars less a hr , you would not believe the extra 250 a fortnight would of helped so much where I didn't have to struggle I could of bought my self a drink and lunch sometimes and my daughter a toy.  The incident that made me leave January 6 this yr made me want to run away and hide I don't like driving trucks even though I can on car licence I'm not experienced it scared me Ive had no previous experience and the mirrors are on the side of doors....well I was driving this day to a company that fixes tail gates and as I was reversing into a gap I thought I hit a parked car and after few weeks the damage was estimated  by their insurance 11,000..I was really upset my boss was angry he told me to pay it this accident happened December 22nd 2024 I was apologetic I said can we pay excess money to your insurance I will borrow the money, he was just angry and he said no you will pay for it...made me really upset and sad as I was struggling already I didn't know how I was going to pay this....well anyway months started going past and I thought my boss just got his insurance to pay it until I received a letter from debt collectors to pay 11,000 dollars in late December 2025....they were calling me sending me letters threatening to take my car....I was worried they would take my car so I use to park elsewhere and sleep in my car...I couldn't face my boss no more I needed the job but I could not look at him again....I'm now seeing doctors because up until mid February I just laid in bed. My landlord was understanding I have isolated my self psycologically I'm a mess but I know I need help....I really liked my boss I thought we got on well but for some reason he didn't like me...I just need time and treatment and anyone's advice I would appreciate it... thank you 

[trying_my_best]

Hi and welcome to the forums!

Firstly, I want to commend you for working so hard for a place that doesn’t sound like a positive working environment! I’m sure it must have been hard. 

Secodnly, I wanted to say I have been in a similar situation to yours. I am a bit younger, but a few years ago I moved out of home for the first time to a new city to start university. I was fortunate in that I had some savings but still wanted a job. My first few jobs in my new city made me loose confidence in myself and my ability to work despite knowing i was good at what I did. I unfortunately found myself between jobs regularly. Causing a lot of anxiety about using my savings to pay my bills as I was worried I was going to run out of money, possibly having to move back home and I went through a period such as yours. Other than to study or go grocery shopping for basic essentials I would not leave my bed. I felt lost and like I was failing. I unfortunately did not do the brave task you are doing of seeing a Dr regarding this. However, I did confide in my partner. Knowing that I didn’t have to hold my feelings to myself really helped me. I hope that seeing the Dr helps you. 

Best of luck! 

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you at a time in your life that feels so incredibly stressful and depressing. 

Whether you want to inform your ex boss that you're contacting the Fair Work Ombudsman regarding 1)illegal pay practices (underpaying employees) and 2)where you legally stand regarding him not claiming through his insurance is up to you. Perhaps there's someone close to you who can guide you through this while mentally and emotionally supporting you. From what you say, you're fully entitled to financial compensation regarding being underpaid.

Some people, including bosses, can be incredibly stressful and depressing and they basically don't care whether they are or not. It becomes the employee's problem. My heart goes out to you while you found and felt yourself having worked for one of these people. The amount of neglect, abuse and stress an employee can face while the owner of a company tries to save a buck is basically disgusting and highly questionable at times. 

Sometimes establishing a circle of people in our life can be the only way to go. Sometimes one guide or supportive person isn't enough. A circle could include a fair work ombudsman, a GP, a reliable friend or family member, ex employees who can be supportive in a quest for justice, a mental health professional, a spiritual guide of some particular faith and the list goes on. 'How to start or establish that circle?' can be the question. Maybe your GP could be the first in the circle or the FWO. The circle needs to be filled with people who are going to raise you from where you've been led down to. Raising our spirits, our level of consciousness, our self esteem and faith in ourself is something that can be felt when we have the right people raising us. Always pays to question the people who we don't feel raising us in any way. Typically such people will feel depressing or we can't feel them making any difference at all (aka 'leaving us at the same depressing level we're desperate to elevate ourself from').

Btw, it sounds like your ex boss's favourite type of employee may be one who won't seriously question or challenge him. He may have a type, something the FWO may discover a history of if they're led to investigate. Won't he get one hell of a shock when you become perhaps the first in history to do so. You may completely surprise yourself if you end up being a leader of those who are also looking for justice.