Hi DaffyDuck,
I feel sad reading your posts here, because of how your attempts to get help resulted in your complaints being taken as seriously as they should have, so that both you & this boy could have recieved help. The behaviour from the boy is really unusal for a child his age, & I would have been so thoroughly disappointed in how the teacher responded. So then you & your friends were left to deal with him as you could. I'm so sorry you & your friends had to do that.
I'm not surprised you became aggressive, & didn't like boys or trust boys close to you. You had to protect yourself. These are a couple ways people protect themselves. When feeling threatened, you might respond with anger & lash out, or you might respond with wanting to flee, getting as far away as you need to feel safe.
I am supposing this boy, at least sometimes, was nice. Maybe you, at your young age, thought he could be friends with you? Like most kids, you had an open heart.
Maybe because you couldn't figure out whether or not he meant any harm to you, was a factor? I don't know. I think these are things to talk about with someone who understands more than I do.
Since you have ongoing thoughts & feelings, some confusion in your mind, I wonder if you have considered talking to someone, such as a counsellor or doctor about it, someone who could help clarify for you, what was going on.
Personally, I'm not sure how to define his behaviour. I am inclined to think he was acting out some behaviour he's seen, or had experienced from someone else, an older teenager or adult. I am aware kids can respond to having been interfered with, in this sort of way.
For how you feel about it, would my idea or any other reason change how you feel about those things he did? He did them, for whatever reason, & you have been effected.
If you are not already seeing someone, think about talking to your GP, who can help find someone you can talk with you about these things
mmMekitty
