When masks first started at the beginning of the pandemic, I was doing
my best by wearing one when necessary. It has though, brought to a head
some trauma which has been simmering all my life, but have been able to
manage it voluntarily, and acceptin...
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When masks first started at the beginning of the pandemic, I was doing
my best by wearing one when necessary. It has though, brought to a head
some trauma which has been simmering all my life, but have been able to
manage it voluntarily, and accepting that I struggle with my face being
restricted or closed in. The specific source of the trauma is not
certain, however I have new recollections of an incident when I was 3
years old which have surfaced with mask wearing. As the pandemic
progressed, my reaction became more and more intense, and at the
beginning of 2021 resulted in full blown panic attacks with feinting and
unconsciousness. I feinted no less than 9 times last year due to wearing
a mask in a public place, with several repeated physical injuries and
visits by paramedics and ambulance trips to ED. I have been lucky so far
not to hit my head on anything. After all this incident history caught
up with the local GP, I have a very strongly worded letter of exemption,
which I didn't ask for, but was offered, however this does not give me
much consolation, as I live in fear of being socially ostracized and
told how selfish I am for not wearing a mask.It has become so severe
that the mere confrontation with someone asking me to put a mask on
causes me close to a panic attack. I have also been confronted to the
point that even an exemption is not accepted.It would seem that I'm very
selfish for not being able to wear a mask, and that the latest
discussions are inferring that everyone without exception is strongly
asked to wear one. A face shield causes me the same distress.I am not
anti mask or an anti anything, I've had my latest second booster
vaccination, (total 4), I socially distance and avoid going out in
public as much as I can, but I'm feeling with the latest discussions
that it will be like this for the rest of my life. Mask wearing is now
here to stay, even after this pandemic is long gone. Why is it all so
black and white? Why are people so judgemental without knowing someone's
reasons?My chances of being seriously injured wearing a mask is almost
an eventual certainty, but I guess society is willing to see my higher
chance of being hurt and the ambulance turning up than me not conforming
to the cultural rules. Every time I see the single issued conversation
about the importance of masks, I just don't think I can go on facing it.
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
